


i must've crossed a line (i must've lost my mind)

by itsgaydude



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Identity Reveal, Jealous Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor-centric, Lena Luthor & Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, Lena Luthor Has Powers, Minor Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Protective Kara Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Red Kryptonite, Red Kryptonite Kara Danvers, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, canon-divergence, slowest burn ever, there aren't enough angst tags for how angsty it gets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 77,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsgaydude/pseuds/itsgaydude
Summary: Kara is struggling with accepting her sexuality since it goes against Krypton's view on the matter. She finds herself infected with red kryptonite and interacts with her best friend Lena. Overly confident Kara manages to make Lena flustered and seduces her. Things become sexual and then get angsty because Kara doesn't know how to deal with accepting who she is once she is back to normal. But maybe Lena can help her with that.or the one in which Kara struggles with her sexuality. Gets infected by red kryptonite, hooks up with Lena and then ignores her. Angst ensues and Lena helps Kara come to term with being gay while they deal with typical National City problems.(Set up after the season 2 finale)No beta. We make grammar errors like men.





	1. Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> All the canon events happened exactly as they did on the show. None of that will be changed.
> 
> Inspired by both  
> https://youtu.be/YMg0NQY1V1w  
> and  
> Strangers - Halsey feat Lauren

For as long as Kara could recall she had fought her nature. She had refused to even acknowledge the feelings inside her as true. And she had definitely never shared them with anyone.

Krypton was an antiquated planet in comparison with Earth. Not in its technology, science or knowledge. But when it came to relationships, love, and freedom.

So Kara had never told anyone that since she was a child she had always thought girls were beautiful. Hell, she thought they were the most beautiful thing. Even more beautiful than the red sun shining. And maybe the reason why she hadn't told anyone was because she knew it was seen as wrong. She didn't know how. But she could tell when she looked around and only saw men and women dating. So she repressed those feelings urging to come out. And she decided to ignore they ever really happened.

Even when Winn questioned if she was gay she had denied it. Maybe with a tone too aggressive for such a question. Maybe because she was actually angry at herself.

Then Alex came out to her and everything she said was just so relatable. Kara had tried, really hard, to date men on Earth. She even cared for some, like James. Trying so hard to make herself believe what she felt was an actual attraction to them. But deep down she knew it wasn't like that. There was a reason why those relationships never lasted long. Why she would be pinning over them because they were great matches and she should like them. On paper it would be great, they would be great. But then she would find herself with them and she never really lasted very long after that.

Not to mention the problems with intimacy that Alex mentioned. She always felt like she needed to do that. Not that they pressured her but like she was trying to prove herself that she wasn't gay. That she wasn't going against her planet's way of living. So she tried. And it mostly resulted in a few broken noses because it's really hard to control your strength while also struggling to control your own thoughts about something like that.

So when Kara hinted that maybe Alex just hadn't met the right man it wasn't out of malice. It was just something she had been telling herself ever since she was a child.

And when they talked later on in her apartment she made it seem like the issue was with Alex not have been comfortable to just come out because she was always the focus. When that was only one of the problems she had with it all.

Kara definitely supported gay people. She just wanted to honor Krypton, not disappoint it. Not go against it. She supported Alex and all people like her. But she struggled with it all still.

She struggled with accepting herself. She even envies Alex a little bit because finally her sister could be herself and be happy. And that made her so proud and happy for her. Kara could only wish she were that brave.

Months passed and she continued on ignoring who she was. Which became harder each time she saw her sister with Maggie. And how incredibly happy they looked.

Nobody really knew but sometimes Kara would sneak to speak to the hologram of her mother and talk to her about Krypton. Including its concept of mating, love, and all of sorts. Just to be reminded that giving in to her own nature would be betraying her dead planet.

So she kept dating Mon-El. Who she should have been happy with. He was also an alien and his planet was also gone. That alone should mean they worked together but the truth is, they truly didn't. Most of their time together was spent fighting and when they weren't doing that then they were either having intimate moments (kissing him somehow felt as dirty as the sex did, and not in a good way) or she felt like she was babysitting her boyfriend. Honestly, the only reason why she hadn't rushed to break this up was because she was well aware that he would grow old slowly as her. Unlike humans. And Kryptonians did believe in one mate for life. It was logically a good match. If it weren't for his past, personality, actions, words, family and whatever else besides his genetics and world ending catastrophy. 

When, months into their relationship, she found herself saying goodbye to Mon-El as he got ready to leave Earth forever Kara cried. She cried hard. And she told herself it was because she loved him. Kara even gave him her mother's necklace.

Deep down she knew better. She knew why she was crying and why she gave him that. Her tears weren't completely out of sadness for him being gone. They were her realization that she should care more. She should have hesitated to do that. She should have found an alternative. She should have said I love you before. She should have done a lot of things. Such as care deeply about him. But she didn't. Kara was crying because even when saying goodbye forever to the man who would possibly, by Kryptonian standards, be her best match, she still didn't feel the love she was supposed to feel. And so she gave him the necklace. Not out of romantic love but because she was reminded that he was alike her and that she had been out there too. She had people she loves and that loved her on Earth but he had no one. So she sacrificed a piece of Krypton she still had. Because maybe she could sacrifice some things.

Maybe she could give up on tiny pieces of Krypton.

Maybe she could accept herself one day.

She could only hope so


	2. the pain won't go away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets infected by red Kryptonite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of another mostly inner struggles chapter. I just need to make canon fit the story and to set the scene. But there's Lena at the end because next chapter is a supercorp one.

When Clark walked up beside her and spoke about her being stronger and how he didn't know if he would have been able to give Lois up to save the world she felt uneasy. Not because of her decision. But because it had been too easy to make. Because when it really came down to it Mon-El had never and could never be her Lois. And then as he flew away J'onn and M'gann kissed. She was happy for them, of course. But it also reminded her that everyone around her had what she had never allowed herself to have. Or what she could never allow herself to have. They loved. In a way that Kara had never loved someone.

And then she and Alex spoke and Kara had tried to hide what was happening inside of her from her sister. Not ready to even go over her own struggles enough to mention them. But there she was, her older sister speaking about coming out and how Kara had supported her and how that had affected her. The exact same issue she had been struggling with since she was a child. Alex told her she was proud of her, and maybe a part of her wishes that had been said because she had revealed what was happening to her on the inside. But it was because everyone around her still believed this lie she got herself into. This act she put up. They still thought she had given up the person she loves for Earth. So when Kara turned to her and told her sister to go be with her girlfriend she was simply allowing herself to give Alex what she wished she could give herself. "I need to know you two are happy." she said, because somehow she convinced herself that seeing Alex and Maggie happy would help her. Saving it a moment later by naming all other happy couples she knew. The lucky ones who had found love. 

When she mentioned her world stopping she wasn't necessarily speaking of Mon-El leaving, although Alex would clearly take it that way. Kara was speaking of how completely aware she seemed to be of who she was. And how there was still a fight inside her between that and Krypton. And currently... who she was might be winning.

"Just never let her go." She pleaded to Alex. Kara needed this. At least one of them needed to embrace who they really were and get the girl.

Kara flew away immediately after. Not wanting to stick around only to break down and spill the truth.

 

\------

 

"Why do you look like your world is about to end?" Did Cat know how accurate she might be in asking such question? Because that was what it felt like. It felt like her world was about to end all over again. And she was the one doing the ending.

For a second she considered actually sharing the truth with Cat Grant. But she didn't.

Instead, she said what everyone assumed she would feel. Her emotions made it seem all the more authentic while she lied since she could hardly hide them away. And Cat looked like she believed her.

"Everyone I know is in a happy relationship. I thought I could have that too. But I'm starting to think maybe it's just not in the cards for me." Kara was being honest there. She tried her best to have that while respecting Krypton. With her best alien match. And it still didn't work. Even before he went away, it hadn't been working. Maybe she was destined to seeing others be in love while she remained alone.

"It just feels like this pain isn't going to go away." 

Cat tried to make her feel better but she didn't know the context. The real one. She didn't know this was something that was part of her. Something buried deep down but still- part of who she is. And it would never truly go away. No matter how much she fought against it.

Somehow she did feel slightly better after speaking to Cat still. But not good enough to accept herself.

So when she flew away to save the day she allowed herself to cry yet again.

 

\------

 

Another fire to fight. At least it would keep her distracted from her thoughts. She got everyone out of the buildings in danger and proceeded to use her freeze breath to stop the fire. Everyone cheered but somehow she could only fake a smile when she looked at the people she had saved.

Kara was just so tired.

She flew away a moment later, flying past a tall building that had been affected by the Daxamite invasion. What she didn't notice was the red kryptonite on it. Something that must have been brought by the Daxamites from their planet. Along with all the green kryptonite she knew they had.

But all she got was a slightly uncomfortable feeling, one she didn't pay too much attention to when she flew faster away to her apartment.

She considered going to check on Lena. Her best friend had saved the world, after all. But she couldn't bring herself to do such thing.

Kara wasn't sure why but seeing Lena after this emotional rollercoaster would only make it worse somehow. Her friend was great at comforting her and at making her have a good time. She was great at a lot of things. But her brain was telling her she shouldn't see her right now.

So she went home, she put on the coziest clothes she owns, threw her hair into a messy bun and started watching a Disney movie. Becuase if anything is going to cheer her up it would be Lion King.

When she opened her eyes it was night time. She must have fallen asleep at some point during the movie, probably exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before considering she had spent it fighting with her feelings.

Wait. Why had she suddenly woken up? Oh right. The door.

Someone had knocked on the door.

Kara grunted, not wanting to speak to anyone at the moment. She was somehow feeling worse than before, actually. She almost felt anger towards all the people happily in relationships around her. The last thing she needed was to have them try to cheer her up when they didn't even know her actual situation.

It didn't matter anyways because once she checked who it was, using her x-ray vision, she let out a breath she had been holding. Feeling relief that it wasn't any of those people.

It was just her best friend. Her incredibly attractive best friend. Wait- wha- No. Kara. No.

She suddenly jumped out of the couch, remembering she had just been staring and hadn't actually done anything about the door separating them.

"Lena. Hi." she spoke right after opening the door, a genuine smile on her face for the first time that day.

"Hello, Kara. I thought you could use take out." Lena raised a couple of bags from her favorite Chinese place and her stomach growled, causing her friend to smile.

"Yes. Come in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think red Kryptonite should act slower instead of leaving Kryptonians lacking inhibitions right away. Much like how green one doesn't leave them completely powerless right away. So this is the start of Kara's descent into her gayness coming out.


	3. Impulses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potstickers and kissing the girl you like.

Kara suddenly realized she probably looked like a mess. She was wearing an oversized shirt that had seen better days and had a few paint stains and a pair of sweats that compensated how ugly they were with how comfortable they felt.

"I think I'm going to take a shower first but make yourself at home." she announced with a smile just before rushing towards her bedroom, hearing an okay from her friend as she did so. Not completely walking out of the area before first taking in the view that was her friend. Lena who had now undressed her coat and was wearing a blouse that was not buttoned all the way up and Kara could feel herself wanting to- no. She forced herself to get in the shower. A feat that she struggled with because all she wanted to do was walk up to her friend and just kiss her. Even under all that cold water, she had decided was necessary, she was still running hotter than usual.  

When she finally comes out of the shower after trying to fight her urges she feels slightly more relaxed as she dressed a tank top, one that clings close to her body and shorts that show off her legs. It's an unconscious decision for the most part but there is part of her, probably the red kryptonite infected part that has been growing inside her, that simply wants to show off what she has. 

 _Maybe the shower didn't help after all._  That was her first thought when she saw Lena sitting at the dining table, looking at her phone while she waited for her.

She couldn't keep the intrusive thoughts of how she wanted to have Lena on top of that table, legs circling her waist. Kara nearly trips trying to walk up to Lena while experiencing the rush those images in her mind give her. She had never allowed herself to imagine that with Lena. Not like this anyways.

Although, she could not deny there had been times in which she would be getting intimate with Mon-El and had found herself imagining her friend. It never lasted long, Kara would always manage to push it back deep inside into the denial abysm of her mind. It certainly hadn't happened while looking at Lena. Or while not doing anything sexual. At most she had over analyzed every aspect of Lena's body. Which she had excused with it being simple curiosity and attention to detail. Not attraction. No. Because she was straight.

Only she wasn't. 

Her friend smiled when she looked up as she sat on the chair beside her. Reaching to grab a bag of takeout. 

"How are you doing?"

Kara froze but something in her told her to stop holding back. "You know about my boyfriend, right?"

"Yes. Kara, I'm-"

"No." she extended her hand, signaling for Lena to stop. "It's fine. He was an asshole, anyway. Not around others. Well- Kind of. But mostly around me."

Kara took a bite of a potsticker before shrugging and allowing whatever was giving her such sudden confidence to take more control over her.

"You know... Everyone thinks I'm heartbroken but I'm not. I am a little sad and I might even feel some guilt but I'm not heartbroken. I think I would have had to love him to feel that way."

She distracted herself by eating the potstickers Lena brought, enjoying them too much and looking over at Lena who seemed like she was trying to process the information and figure out what to say.

"Kara I need to tell you something."

"I know."

Lena's eyes widened in surprise, her mouth opening slightly in shock or maybe she was wondering if she actually knew what she meant.

"You made the device that forced him to leave." she stated, coldly. Maybe too coldly. Hours before she had been so emotional and now she felt more composed. She felt rational but fearless.

"You're not-"

"Mad?" she interrupted, a chuckle leaving her mouth before she shook her head. "No. I understand."

"But-"

Kara placed her hand on Lena's, squeezing it slightly. A bold move considering everything happening to her in regards to her sexuality. "I understand."

Lena nodded and she noticed as she glanced down at their hands, still connected. 

Pulling back her hand she smiled at her best friend, focusing back on the delicious food in front of her.

"I think I need a drink."

Lena nearly choked another look of surprise mixed with shock. "I did not know you drink."

"Oh. I do sometimes. After all the serious conversations I have been having, this feels like it should be one of those times." She explained, getting up and grabbing a beer from her fridge. Only it was not the normal human alcohol. Mon-El had brought it home one day, rambling about how there were these aliens that made beer that looks normal to humans but it's really for people like them. "Do you want anything?"

"Do you have wine?"

Kara nodded and grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass as well, walking back to the table.

"It's probably not as fancy as the wine you usually drink."

"I'm sure it will do. I could also use a drink after the days I've been having."

They ate and drank while making small talk in between for a while until they were both considerably tipsy. Lena had drunk two glasses of wine but Kara suspected she had already been drinking before coming over. And Kara was now in the middle of her second bottle. At least it wasn't as bad as the drink she had the first time she got drunk. Or she would be making a fool of herself already.

"Did you know your eyes change color?"

"Do they?"

"Yes. Sometimes they're fully green but not the normal type of green. Not like grass or leaves, or even like- kryptonite. No. They're like their own unique green. The Lena only green. And sometimes they're blue. But not like mine or the sky. Or even the ocean. They're this grayish blue, it reminds me of when you try to act composed and serious. When you're in business mode. And sometimes they're both."

Lena was looking at her with an amused expression and she felt all these feelings she had been pushing to the back of her mind rush in, and she didn't stop them. She didn't fight anything that was happening inside of her. And she felt a complete rush of some kind. A rush that took complete control of her.

And all Kara could think about was kissing Lena. So she went for it.

Kara got up from her seat, not hesitating in her actions, and placed her hand on Lena's chin. Tilting her head up and at the same time bending slightly down, she kept eye contact, looking straight at the eyes she had been describing. Those eyes that were now showing something she had caught glimpses of in the past but was now staying in them. This hunger. She was sure her eyes would be showing the same hunger and she wouldn't care if Lena saw it. She was tired of hiding it. Of ignoring what was going on inside her. And so when she noticed Lena glancing at her lips and licking hers she smirked, and leaned in, their lips meeting for the first time.

She didn't hold back. Had it been any other time she would have kissed her softly, but not this time. Lena's kissing her back and her arms made their way around her neck. So Kara pulls her up. And now they're standing, her hands on the small of her friend's back and pulling her closer to her. Their kisses hungrier than before. And Kara can tell she hasn't been the only one holding back. She hasn't been the only one keeping things inside. Lena wants this as much as she does.

"Kara." Lena whispered as soon as they pulled back as to allow her human friend to breathe, although Kara would argue that sounded more like a moan. 

A smirk grew on her face as she heard her name spoken in such way, by Lena out of all people. If she were to choose a favorite sound, that would be it.

With a smooth, if she might say so, and quick movement Kara lifted her up, making Lena place her legs around her body. Her arms still around her neck.

There was no conversation prior to it, no need for discussion. As Kara looked into Lena's eyes she knew they were both thinking of the same thing. There was no need to vocalize what was about to happen. Like many times before, they simply understood where the other stood. So Kara carried her to her bedroom, that proud and smug smirk still in her face whenever they would stop kissing for air or simply to look at where they were. Despite the fact she did have super powers that helped.

Needless to say that Kara's smirk along with Lena's eyebrow raise and even better smirk made it impossible to even make it to the bed. At least the first time. Instead, they settled for the nearest wall once they walked into her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any small requests for future chapters like little prompts or a mention you would like to see would be welcomed.


	4. It looks good on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after and flustered Lena.

Kara's eyes fluttered open as she slowly woke up, grunting as the light hit her eyes. It took her a while to really acknowledge her surroundings, noticing that she was holding someone and then looking at the peaceful sleeping face of none other than Lena Luthor. She instantly smirked as memories from the night before came rushing in. It almost made her proud. Who was she kidding... It did make her proud. 

Not only had she gotten  _the_ Lena Luthor in her bed, naked, moaning and screaming her name but she had begged all through the night. A fact she had added to her list of things Lena did during sex that she was happy to know. Such list had already far too many items after only one night of fun. The truth was, the reality of sex with Lena Luthor was better than anything she could have imagined. Or prepared for. Considering she had almost lost control when she heard Lena beg while also moaning her name. Something she was sure she would not forget so soon.

And now here they were. Lena laying in front of her, still deep in her sleep. Something she could not blame her for. She was only human after all and unlike Kara, her energy runs out way faster and takes longer to regain. And Kara was rested but laid staring at the other woman, one arm still around her waist.

She allowed her mind to wander through what had happened the night before. The lip bites, the hickeys that were all over Lena's body, some of which she could see at the moment and others sadly hidden by the sheets covering her. The moans, screams and heavy breathing. All of which had instantly become her favorite sounds. The scratches and every single mark that had come with them. Unfortunately, the marks seemed to be one sided because her body didn't allow for reminders of how Lena's nails had been all over her body. Or how her mouth attempted to leave marks behind as well. 

And then there were the memories of what Lena looked like when she touched or placed her mouth on all the right spots. Or when she moved in that way that Lena loved. And of course of when she had finally reached that point and a rush of pleasure went through her body, leaving her with a red colored skin tone that made her face both adorable and very attractive. 

 

\------

 

She was now flying away from her apartment, apparently, there was a robbery taking place. _Annoyingly_ , she thought.

Humans always needed her help and she wanted to tell them they should stop being so weak and protect themselves for once. Instead of depending on her for everything. Which was exactly what she did. She went on a rant about how much work she did and how annoying it was that everyone still needed saving all the time. How reckless could humans really be? Always so weak and pathetic.

Everyone seemed surprised by her words, even the bad guys. But she didn't care at all.

Instead, she sighed and beat up the robbers. Okay, so maybe she didn't have to beat them up. She could have easily subdued them. But if she was going to leave a naked Lena behind, it was only fair that she should have some fun.

"Supergirl, what happened?" Alex questioned once she got inside to take the criminals away.

Kara simply shrugged, a cheeky smile on her expression. "I thought I should teach them a lesson. And have some fun while doing it."

There was a glimpse of worry in her sister's eyes but she didn't care. Instead, she walked away. Leaving behind a confused and slightly worried Alex.

 

\------

 

She flew to one of the take out places she knew Lena enjoyed and bought some food before getting to her apartment. Before getting inside she made sure that Lena was still in bed, sleeping. With that confirmation, she flew inside using the window and placed the food on the kitchen table. Using her super speed to choose an outfit for the day. Something made her go for a tight black dress she would normally not dare to use unless she was actively trying to look good. But she supposed that could be the case. Kara also styled her hair differently. In a hairstyle that looked more mature than anything she would normally do to her hair. Overall she looked like a powerful woman in charge of her sexuality. It was the opposite of her normal. She even had black high heels she would normally only wear at formal events or whenever her friends dragged her to a club.

After a few minutes, she heard the other woman move in bed and she immediately knew she had woken up. Cheekily and without any hint of shame she took a few steps and leaned against the wall at the entrance of her bedroom, smirking at the woman now blinking and looking around the room but still laying on her bed. She must have been slightly confused as to where she was but Kara saw the moment when it hit her that last night hadn't been a wild dream.

"Kara." she let out in what sounded like slight surprise, pulling the sheets to cover herself as she sat down, her back against the headboard. 

With a chuckle, the blonde raised an eyebrow at her. "Where you thinking you had dreamt of us having sex?" she questioned, shame apparently a foreign concept at the moment. "Can't say that isn't incredibly sexy. You thinking of me. Of us. Clearly something worth thinking about."

Kara was having far too much fun teasing Lena. Who was now blushing and looking as shy as she had ever seen her. She moved to offer one of her shirts and a pair of shorts to the naked girl, figuring she would probably be more comfortable in those than in her clothes from the night before.

"I bought take out. I figure since it is technically too late for breakfast you could just skip that." she pointed out, gesturing towards the kitchen. "Who knew you needed so much time to recharge your energy after last night..." Kara teased her again, winking before disappearing into the kitchen. Leaving behind a flustered Lena with her mouth slightly open in what looked like both surprise and shock.

 

\------

 

After a few minutes Lena walked into the kitchen area, wearing the shirt that was far too big for her and the shorts that showed off her amazing legs. Kara smirked at the sight and didn't shy away from making it clear she was staring.

"Why are you wearing that?" Lena must have been surprised by her choice in outfit for it to be the first thing she asks.

Kara smirked, recognizing that amongst the confusion there was also a hint of attraction in her expression as her eyes studied her figure. "I thought I could use a day without wearing unflattering clothes." She shrugged, before leaving the chair and taking a few steps towards Lena. "What do you think?"

Lena who was now pouring a glass of orange juice nearly spilled the drink once she realized how close Kara had gotten to her.

"It's nice. It looks _good_ on you."

The blonde was hardly satisfied with the answer she got, shaking her head while chuckling lightly. "I was going for completely _fuckable_ but I guess good will do."

The brunette almost choked while taking the first sip of her drink. Probably not expecting someone like Kara Danvers to speak such words. Even after the wildly sexual night they had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the tables have turned. It seems for once Lena is the gay mess. Poor Lena is not prepared to deal with overly confident and sexual Kara Danvers.


	5. Kiss-proof lipstick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Food, kisses and Alex (Ugh)

They ate the food in silence for the most part. Exchanging looks far too intense to be considered platonic at all. Kara looked like she was about to jump Lena and absolutely devour her. In the most fun of ways. And Lena looked like she was almost wishing for that to happen.

If it weren't for the fact Kara did need a lot of food to have her usual energy she would have probably done it by now.

But for now, intense gazes, lip bites and a smug smirk would do. It sure was entertaining to see Lena's reaction to it all. Lena who was always so confident around her and never even close to the nervous mess that was Kara Danvers. For once she was the one in control and she absolutely loved every second of it.

Well- she guessed it wasn't really the first time. That would have been the previous night. Apparently, and much to her pleasure, Lena might be a powerful woman in charge in her daily life but she was surprisingly submissive sexually. Something she hadn't expected to find out but was amazed by. Kara loved to have some sort of control in her life. Her daily life had her being ordered around by people in superior positions to her, professionally. And even in her private life, everyone tried to control her in some way. Whether it would be Alex, mainly to protect her, or Mon-El, who had tried to boss her around and be in charge in their relationship. But for once she found some way of being in control and it felt so good. Especially because it involved Lena and their naked bodies pleasing each other.

"I should go."

Kara stared at the woman who was now getting up. "Why?"

"I _do_ work, Kara."

She got up as well, taking a couple of steps before standing too close to her friend. Her hands reaching to grab the edge of her shirt, keeping her from walking.

"You are the boss if I remember correctly. Which means you do not have to work if you don't want to."

"Kara..." It was almost a pleading whisper and she smirked, being reminded of the night before.

With a teasing smirk still on her face, she copied the younger woman. "Lena..." 

"I can't just stay."

The blonde took that as a challenge to convince her otherwise. One of her hands letting go of her shirt and moving the dark hair from Lena's shoulder and neck, pushing it back before placing her lips on the naked neck. "Stay." she whispered against her skin a moment later.

Lena was now holding onto Kara's arm that was between them as she held onto the shirt still. "I-"

Her lips continued to kiss the brunette's neck and shoulder. Leaving a few more marks where there were already some from the previous night. Paying attention to the effect that she had on the other woman. Hearing the moans Lena tried to keep from coming out, the gasps and the heavy breathing.

The brunette was almost giving in when someone knocked on the door, Kara hated whoever was on the other side at the moment. But Lena let out a relieved breath, probably thanking that person.

They stood closely, looking at each other intensely for a few seconds before the person knocked once again. Kara let out a groan, "I'm coming." she yelled out, rolling her eyes.

"That's my cue to go." Lena said quickly after Kara let go of her and ran to her room, probably to get dressed in her clothes.

Still annoyed she moved to the door and opened it, expression clearly showing how annoyed she was.

Of course it would be Alex. Her sister sometimes had the worst timing. Of course, she would cockblock her, out of all people. The lesbian would be the one to stop her from having sex with another woman yet again.

"Kara. What- What are you wearing?"

She shrugged, "I believe you call it a dress in this planet."

Alex stood in silence, mouth slightly parted in surprise. She also seemed to be studying her, probably trying to figure out what came over her.

"Anyway, I came over to ask you about those men from the robbery. What were you thinking?"

"I already answered, Alex. Do you think you will get a different answer if you ask a question twice?"

"Kara, are you okay?"

She chuckled, shrugging and a smirk growing as she stared at her sister. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"For starters, there's Mon-El and-"

"No." she spoke firmly, raising her hand as to show that she shouldn't continue speaking. "You don't get it, do you? Mon-El was terrible. I know you wanted me to date him and honestly, so did I. He was an alien who lost his planet too. Maybe we could work in some way but _Rao_ , Alex- _at what cost_?"

Her sister seemed surprised again, looking behind her at something. Probably the two plates and drinks still on the table. "Is someone here with you?"

"Yes. And if you'd be so kind to give us some privacy, I would appreciate it. This trying to control me at all moments thing does not look good on you. Maybe you should focus on your life, Alex. You do finally _have one_ of your own. It would be a shame to lose it."

Harsh words coming from her but she didn't care. She was speaking her mind for once.

Alex seemed ready to argue and maybe a little hurt. But Kara couldn't be bothered with trying to ease her pain over hearing the truth. So she gently pushed her sister a step back, making sure she could close the door. "Bye, Alex." 

She saw her open her mouth to protest but the door was closed before any word came out.

Turning around she walked into her bedroom where Lena was fixing her hair while looking at her full body mirror. "You're looking stunning but won't Jess notice those are yesterday's clothes?"

Lena smirked, looking at her through the mirror. "Of course. I do plan on stopping at my apartment before getting to my office. Can't have my employees know I got laid last night."

"I wonder if they'd guess you were with me."

The brunette looked amused when she turned around to look at her. Kara was now laying on the end of her bed, looking at Lena.

"Maybe. I think Jess could guess, considering I did fill your office with flowers."

"A true romantic."

Lena walked past her, but Kara sat down and held the brunette's wrist, pulling her closer to her. 

"I was simply being friendly."

"Mmhmm. I've noticed how you look at me, Ms. Luthor. And it's not a recent development." She argued, in a seductive whisper.

"Is that so, Ms. Danvers?" Kara enjoyed it when Lena flirted back. It was definitely a turn on. 

The shorter woman bent over, placing her arms around Kara's neck and the Kryptonian held her hips, looking into those amazing green eyes staring at her. Moments later they were kissing again. 

It didn't last long however, Lena pulled away with a smirk. "Thank God for my kiss-proof lipstick." She spoke, chuckling lightly. Something that normally made her feel sick. But the good kind of sick. The restless stomach and butterflies type of sick.

"By the way, did I keep you from spending time with whoever was at the door?"

Kara shook her head, "Not really. It was just my sister checking up on me but she had to go." So maybe she was lying but for a good cause. She didn't want negativity to mess up whatever this was.

"Good. I'd _hate_  to keep you all for myself."

"I doubt that."

"Yes, doesn't sound all that believable, does it?" Lena shrugged while smiling and reached to hold her bag from the kitchen. Kara was now walking a few steps behind.

"I'll see you?"

Kara nodded at the question. "You will."

They lingered around the apartment's door and Kara pulled Lena in for one last kiss before the brunette smiled and walked away. Turning around to look at her midway into the hallway.

 

\------

 

"Supergirl. We need your help."

Kara groaned. "What is it?"

"Some alien is attacking Chinatown."

Well, if there was one thing worth protecting was her favorite takeout place. She would happily do that.

"I'll be there in ten."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find this to be more of a realistic way for red kryptonite to affect her. I don't know if you guys agree but not having inhibitions for me just means being over-confident, cocky and not having a filter.
> 
> I hope I'm not disappointing you over the lack of violence but I think Kara is in an overall better place in the Supergirl responsibilities way than in the season 1 episode so that wouldn't affect her much. Although, some other things might and we will see that.
> 
> I just don't think she would be blindly enraged. She would accurately direct rage. So we might see some specific confronts in the next chapter. But again... I have a different way of viewing red kryptonite. 
> 
> I do hope it is still fun for you guys.


	6. Be in charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and testing out the desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An important question at the end notes, please give me your opinion. Thanks.

Kara threw a final uppercut punch to the alien twice her size, all while hovering to meet its weight. When he finally crashed to the ground and laid still for a few seconds her mouth formed a proud smile. She lowered herself to stand near her sister who earlier had almost been crushed by the alien.

There was a tense air between them, probably caused by their earlier conversation at Kara's apartment and lack of conversation now. Mostly due to neither of them having spoken directly to each other.

"Do you need anything else, or am I _allowed_  to leave?" Kara questioned, her words sounding harsh as she spoke them. Clearly mad that her sister constantly tried to boss her around. In fact, most people in her life did that. They always treated her as if she was a kid and not a grown woman. Maybe it was because of her overly positive and slightly awkward attitude, but it was ridiculous. Just because she was a positive person that didn't give everyone else the right to try and control every aspect of her life. 

"You have plans?" Alex raised an eyebrow, arms crossed as she stared at her.

Kara was definitely annoyed now. "Why? Can't I have plans that don't involve you? Do I have to fill in some form and turn it in for permission? Surely you can't just allow an _alien_  to be in charge of her own life."

Her words so bitter. Probably from all the years she has kept them inside, just causing this discomfort every time someone would do something of sorts yet again. And Kara would have to pretend it was fine. She would just bite her tongue and let it be. 

"Supergirl. I was only curious. You went through a difficult situation just days ago. I'm worried about how you're choosing to deal with it."

"How am I dealing with my abusive boyfriend being gone... hmmm let's see... I think I've had one of the best nights of my life last night. _Wait_ \- scratch that. I did have the best night of my life last night. It was peaceful and it was- Instead of feeling pressured to be with him I did something for myself for once. And today I didn't have to deal with him kissing me just for me to feel sick. But I guess I did have to deal with you asking me about him. Which I did not enjoy." She shook her head, trying to make sense of her emotions and thoughts that were pouring out. "Everyone tried to push me towards him. Including you. I was- confused. And you just pushed me. I was in a bad place and he kept manipulating me. Using guilt to try and get me. And you just pushed me. Made it seem like he was the best I could get. He was what I deserved and who I should be with. Because you finally had someone so you wanted me to have someone. Even if it was a misogynist asshole. So I wasn't doing okay but I'm better. Is that what you wanted me to say?"

Alex was now staring at her. Mouth slightly parted. Surely trying to make sense of all she said.

"Or is it because my only family fought me and I had to hit the one I was sent here to protect? Then again, I am always having to fight people like me for humans. Luckily I didn't have to lose Clark. Luckily _you_ weren't the one fighting him. We both know how that ended last time when it was Astra."

"Kara, I-"

"No. Alex. I get it. You did what you had to do. And I do what I have to do. But somehow one of us tries to boss the other around and the other, because she is an alien, simply has to accept whatever happens and suck it up. Had it been me. Had I killed Jeremiah do you think you would have forgiven me so fast and been okay with me bossing you around? Acting like I'm so superior. Acting like you are incompetent and nothing more than brainless muscle?" 

She shook her head before continuing, this time speaking of an entirely different subject. "Not everyone can be like you, Alex. Not everyone can just admit things to themselves that they have been avoiding and change their own life accordingly. Not everyone can just go against normal. Not everyone is allowed to do such thing. Some people are held to higher standards and are meant to be _perfect_. Some people can't afford to be anything but perfect. So sorry if I'm disappointing you. Sorry if you don't think I'm good enough." For a moment there was a flash of red around her eyes, coming from all the anger coming out. "I am alien, but I am also human in a way. I can't always be perfect. Even if I am expected to be. And I have my own mind and desires. I'm so tired of everyone trying to tell me what to think, what to do, how to feel. Even who I am."

She flew away the moment she stopped speaking. Leaving behind a confused Alex.

 

\- - - - - - 

 

She stopped by L-Corp, not sure why but she didn't feel like going to the DEO and it wasn't like her friends would understand her right now. They would probably try to make her feel bad about the Mon-El situation. Plus, it was her day off from CatCo so she didn't have much else to do.

Dressed in the same dress as earlier, including the heels, she made her way to the top floor. Smirking as she noticed Jess' face when she saw what she was wearing. For a moment she wished she could have taken a picture of her shock to show Lena. She would probably laugh along. Opening the door to Lena's office she saw the woman on the phone, gesturing that she would be done soon. So Kara walked to the couch and sat down, her eyes following Lena as she paced around while talking business. If she was being honest she hadn't heard a word the woman was saying, paying more attention to how good she looked.

Lena had changed clothes and was probably wearing too much makeup considering the neck marks on her body were nowhere to be seen. And of course, she would have chosen a blouse instead of a dress. considering Kara had marked her body all over. Smart choice. But Kara knew those were still there and that was insanely attractive.

Kara grew impatient and soon joined Lena by the desk. The brunette was now leaning against her desk, still speaking on the phone. And the Kryptonian couldn't help but move closer, standing between the desk and her friend who now gave her a _don't you dare_ look. But _oh, Kara did more than dare_. She took a final step forward, pinning Lena to her desk and placing her hands on the woman's hips, pressing herself against her. Lena let out a gasp at the action which caused her to smirk. Kara quickly began to kiss her, first on her jawline and then slowly making her way down her neck. She could tell this was driving Lena insane and causing her heart and breathing to become faster. 

With one smooth movement, she pulled the younger woman up and sat her down on the edge of the desk, her legs now on either side of her body. Lena was blushing almost as badly as she had been after finding herself being hit on while naked on Kara's bed. The blonde didn't waste any time, she continued on kissing her neck while her hands moved along Lena's body. All while she pressed herself close to the woman.

"Kara." Lena mouthed in protest, clearly meaning it as a warning since she was still on the phone. But she quickly melted when Kara started to unbutton the top of her blouse. Kara tried not to let out a laugh at the brunette's defeated look. In her defense, she did manage to put up a fight for a while. It was somewhat impressive, really. But now her chest was exposed and Kara began to kiss and bite lightly at her skin, moving from her neck, passing through her collarbones and into the edge of her bra. What was even more fun than doing that was noticing the noises and reactions of her actions on Lena. Who was trying so hard not to moan while on the phone with some business man. It was a valiant effort.

She did really well, Kara had to admit that. At least up until her hand moved along her tights and between her legs. Thank Rao for the skirt the woman chose to wear. At such movement, Lena nearly threw the phone across the room just to avoid the person on the other side hearing her moan. Instead, however, she let it fall on the desk and quickly tried to pick it up. Excusing herself and letting the man know she really had to go, right now. 

"Kara. You're the worst."

She finally let out a laugh as Lena placed her arms around her neck. "I find that hard to believe."

"That was-" Lena gasped again when she unbuttoned the rest of her blouse and opened it. Seeming to have forgotten what she was about to say for a second before continuing. "Important." she whispered, "It was important." 

"Mmhmm. I better make it up to you then." 

"Please do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Alex confrontation was all over the place because there are too many things Kara keeps inside so she's just spilling things without making much sense or organizing her thoughts. 
> 
> I thought it would be in character to do that since Kara tends to ramble and my opinion is that that's simply because her brain processes everything too fast and when her mouth tries to accompany that, it fails.
> 
> Poor Lena probably thinks this is more serious than it is for redk!Kara and I already feel bad for when normal Kara avoids her.
> 
> I keep imagining Lena thinking they are dating considering they had already been going on "dates" and now they're flirting and having sex.
> 
> IMPORTANT
> 
> Should I have a Lena POV chapter after Kara is back to normal and ignoring Lena?


	7. Back to normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antidote and sister time.

Kara left the top floor of L-Corp after about an hour, leaving behind a less than composed Lena who complained about how she was supposed to walk out of her office in high heels after what had happened. To which she simply smirked, telling her it's her fault for being so irresistible. Something that caused Lena to become flustered. When she walked past Jess she looked at her with a questioning expression, probably wonder what they had been doing inside. Luckily Kara had managed to contain the noises Lena had made. Not that it would have bothered her if they had been heard, it would actually be kind of hot.

She wasn't in a rush so instead of flying to her apartment, she walked. It took her a while but she didn't care. Especially when she had been exchanging texts with Lena since she had left the office. 

Most of them were flirty or them teasing each other in different ways. Some mentioning things that had happened during their time inside the office. For example, Kara found out that Lena enjoys, and enjoying sounds like an understatement, being bent over her desk. Something she had happily found out. She may have also noticed when Lena whispered _Supergirl_. Now, she wasn't about to be jealous of herself. It was actually nice to know Lena was also attracted to powerful alien her. And she wasn't meant to hear that. Lena had said it so softly that she was unsure a human would have been able to tell.

 **Lena:** You're the worst, Kara. You know we are lucky Supergirl didn't fly by while you were here.

 **Kara:** Somehow I don't think that would be such an issue, Ms. Luthor.

 **Lena:** I did not take you for such a pervert, Ms. Danvers.

 **Kara:** Really? Even after all of this?

 **Lena:** I thought you'd draw the line at having someone see us.

 **Kara:** Are you testing the waters for suggesting something?

 **Lena:** Are you wishing I was?

 _Touché_ , Kara thought, letting out a laugh as she looked at her phone. She was typing a reply when she arrived at her floor, leaving the elevator without paying attention to the hallway.

Until she walked into someone.

 _Alex_.

"Kara. We need to speak."

She grunted, rolling her eyes at her sister who was standing in front of her with a stern look and arms crossed.

"Fine. Can we at least wait until we get inside?" She questioned, annoyed. Kara walked up to her door and opened it, getting inside and placing her bag on the kitchen table. Turning to face Alex again. "What is it?"

Her sister walked inside, closing the door behind her and looking slightly concern as she looked at her.

"I know what happened. I didn't see it at first. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. Last time- it was awful. I didn't want to think it had happened again."

Kara crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at her. "What is it, Alex?"

"When you were yelling at me I saw it, Kara. I saw it in your face. The flash of red."

Her jaw clenched. She knew it was true and she didn't want it to end. "You're wrong."

"I'm sorry Kara."

She was confused until J'onn flew into the apartment without her noticing he had been close by until it was too late. Why did she always leave that window unlocked?

She tried to move but it was too late. He shot her with the antidote gun they had used last time. A red substance immediately leaving her body.

"Alex." She whispered, before passing out.

"I'm so sorry, Kara." Her sister spoke softly, tears forming in her eyes.

 

 

\- - - - - -

 

They were at the DEO. Unfortunately, she easily recognized the table she was laying on. Having found herself there many times before.

Her eyes immediately scanned the room until they met Alex who was turned around.

"Alex." She whispered, causing her sister to turn and walk up to her. Reaching for her hand and holding it tightly.

"Kara." 

"I-" She paused for a moment, scared about the answer she would get for the question she was about to ask. "What happened?"

Alex took a deep breath, sitting on a chair beside her but still holding her hand.

"I don't know what you did for most of your time infected, Kara. You mostly avoided me. I- You said some things."

Kara could remember glimpses of her conversation with Alex but not everything. She knew with time the memories would come back but right now she felt lost.

"Was it bad?"

"It was honest." 

Something in her sister's expression made her feel bad, even if she wasn't sure what she had said.

"I think there are some things we need to talk about."

Kara simply nodded. A worried expression coming back as she tried to gather up the courage to ask another question. "Did I hurt anyone?"

Alex took a second to answer and she almost started crying at her hesitation. "You roughed up a few robbers, Kara. It wasn't as bad as last time."

She nodded again. 

"I have to say, I thought with everything that happened it would have been worst." Her sister admitted, apparently trying to be blunt about it. 

"I don't think my mind is as bad as it used to be. I think I'm in a better place as Supergirl."

"Yeah... There are some things I don't get, Kara."

"What do you mean?"

"You- Well, you weren't making much sense when we spoke. Some things made sense but others didn't."

"Oh." Kara sat down on the table, disconnecting the tubes from her. "Maybe once I remember I can explain."

Her sister simply nodded at her suggestion.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Kara was at her apartment when she had the first flash of memories from the time she spent with Lena. Needless to say they weren't the most appropriate ones. More like R-rated and definitely ones she wasn't going to share with anyone. This took her by surprise and the shock and complete lack of preparation for such memories to come rushing in had left her with a broken glass in her hand, as well as her sister looking at her with curiosity in her eyes. 

"What's wrong?"

"I- Nothing. I'm fine. I guess I haven't fully recovered yet." She rambled, tripping over her words as she cleaned the glass.

Alex didn't ask again but she didn't look fully convinced.

"Do you want to order in and watch a movie?"

She nodded, feeling shy suddenly because of the image on her mind. "Potstickers and pizza?"

"Of course."

They ended up curled on her couch, watching Disney movies and eating the food. After hours of not mentioning the elephant in the room and Kara having flashes of memories, Alex ended up sleeping on the couch and she carried her to her bed. Choosing to share her bed with her sister.

She appreciated the company, even after supposedly having said awful things, that she barely remembered. But she still felt uncomfortable. Not knowing everything she had done was terrifying and even more so when she laid in her bed and read through her texts with Lena.

 _Oh no_. What had she done?

Maybe she had been hoping that these memories had simply been her daydreams during the time when she was infected. But now, reading these texts, it seemed that they really had been intimate. 

It wasn't as if this was new. Kara had been mesmerized by the brunette since that first day when they met. Of course, she had pushed that back as much as she could. She tried to write it off as friendship. Tried her hardest to pretend she didn't want to kiss her at all times. Or that their dates were completely platonic. She had tried so hard to fight her attraction to Lena. But as they got closer it became so intense and so clear that her feelings weren't simply platonic. But she still kept it inside. She still refused to let anyone know, even Lena. And even herself, if she was being honest. It didn't come as a surprise but this was the first time she was really thinking about it and it was after having acted on it. What a mess.

Even when it became increasingly difficult to keep herself from kissing her best friend. From holding her hand when they walked beside each other. Or to just blurt out that she had feelings for her. Especially those times she had witnessed Lena around Jack. Lena that had gone on a date with him. With the ex she had feelings for. Maybe Kara had fought against her feelings but even so, anyone could see it. She had clearly been jealous. She had even interrupted their date. And then there were the times in which she couldn't keep herself from blushing or staring at Lena. At how good she looked, at her beautiful eyes and those lips. Maybe even her chest, but can you blame her? Kara was weak. She was the strongest person in the world but she was so weak when it came to Lena. 

Even with her super strength, she had lost the battle against who she was and what she felt for the girl with the most beautiful green eyes. She was hopeless.

And now she was staring at the evidence of how weak she had been.

Oh, Rao, she could never face Lena again.

How would she even look at her? Knowing what they had done. Oh, twice... She realized, recalling the office situation. Rao. What was she thinking? And why had Lena gone along? This was so embarrassing. She had sex with Lena. Twice. She had ruined things with her only friend. Yes, sure, James and Winn were her friends too but they were men and lately they had become more distant. With Lena things were different. They would often get lunch or brunch during the week and that had quickly become the highlight of her weeks. Not to mention she was the one person she could be herself with. Despite not having told her about being Supergirl. She viewed her like an equal and never tried to control her. Whenever it was necessary she simply gave her advice. It was the first time she had such a genuine relationship in which both parties were equal and supported each other. They made each other stronger.

And now she ruined it. _Great work, Kara. You just had to have sex with the one woman you have feelings for that happens to be your best friend. Great._

She laid awake all night. Thinking about what had happened when she had been under the influence of that damn rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena POV next chapter (I think)


	8. Ignored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena POV

It had been weeks since she had last spoken with Kara. Not for lack of attempts on her part. In fact, she had done nothing but try and speak to her during this time. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to.

At first, Lena thought Kara could be busy. She knew that sometimes her friend would get caught up in things and disappear for a few days. And Lena understood that. She knew what it was like to be too busy to speak to other people. So she waited. Checking in on her at least once a day. Asking about her day or telling her she wishes her a good day. Nothing out of ordinary. Small talk, really.

It isn't until it has been close to a week that her mind starts racing, wondering why Kara hadn't responded. She had read her messages. She could see that much. Yet there had been no responses from her.

So she thought about it so much that she started panicking. What if Kara regretted what they had done? Lena thought they had been on the same page. She had wanted that for so long. Since the first time had Kara walked into her office, really. And she had tried to ignore it because her friend had a boyfriend and she was straight. At least she had told her so when she mentioned her sister coming out during one of their lunches. But then she had noticed all the blushing and how flustered she would get. It made her hopeful. Although she tried not to be. It could only lead to disappointment. Yet, as much as she fought it, there was still a bit of hope lingering whenever they would stare at each other with fond eyes for longer than platonic friends would. Or when Kara seemed to be jealous and overly protective.

Of course, Lena had not expected to _actually_ get to kiss her. No way. She had been  _thinking_ about, maybe even _imagining_ it. Hell, she might even have dreamt about kissing Kara. And part of her hoped she would get to do it but she never actually thought it would happen. Not until Kara kissed her. And now that only confused her more. Why had she kissed her only to ignore her?

And then there's the sex, of course. Because if Lena hadn't expected a kiss then she sure did not expect to have sex with Kara Danvers. Kara who was incredible for someone who was straight, if she might say so. Kara who had looked and sounded so confident in her actions. Something that had surprised and shocked Lena. But for all that confidence to be turned into avoidance seemed strange.

Maybe Kara had realized she wasn't good enough for someone so perfect. Because she wasn't. Lena was rich and powerful, sure. But she would never be good enough for someone like her friend. She could only hope so and unfortunately, hope was not enough to make things happen. So, of course, Kara would walk away. Of course, she wouldn't actually want her. No. Kara Danvers deserved _better_. She deserved _more_. 

The funny thing was that Lena, as foolish as it sounds, thought this was the start of their relationship. 

 _What a fool_.

It made sense, of course. Logically it made sense. When you didn't take into account how amazing Kara is and how- fucked up Lena is. It made perfect sense.

They had become best friends. They shared their feelings, for the most part, and secrets with each other. They had gone on multiple dates, although they acted like it was entirely platonic. Even when they were having dinner together in fancy restaurants with nothing but couples in the tables surrounding them. So logically it would make sense for this to be them taking their relationship to the next level. For them to become a couple.

Only Kara seemed to disagree.

She tried everything. Even after a week of silence.

Lena went to CatCo but whenever she did Kara wasn't around. It was almost as if she could see her coming, hiding to avoid her. Or someone would tell her that Kara was busy or not even working. She didn't even interview her anymore. They had sent some journalist she didn't know to do a special on the end of the world and her part in preventing it.

As much as she tried she couldn't get to her. Lena even tried her apartment and she was either not home or pretending she wasn't. She would swear she heard voices coming from inside one time and things falling another. Which helped her conclude that she wasn't imagining things.

Kara Danvers _was_ avoiding her.

So then Lena blamed herself. Not only was she not good enough but somehow she had destroyed their friendship. Of course, Kara had been the one to initiate things. But still. She had clearly messed up if Kara wouldn't even speak to her. Maybe she had pushed too hard with her flirty texts. Maybe she was too clingy by checking up on her. Maybe Kara simply regretted it and just didn't want to see Lena again.

Either way, she was back to having no friends in National City. 

And somehow the world felt lonelier than before. Same amount of friends as she had when she moved. Yet now she was all too aware of what she was missing out on.

Lena didn't even care about making new friends. She didn't want that. It would still feel lonely even if she was surrounded by people. Because it wasn't friendship she was missing. It was _Kara Danvers_.

Kara who had become the best part of her days, even when they only texted. Kara who was warmth in person and felt like home in a strange way. She just made her that comfortable. It was unlike anything she had ever encountered. Lena had actually never understood what people meant when they said home and not house. Until she met Kara. A home was a feeling, not a place. She knew that now. And Kara Danvers, the brightest person in the world, was _home_. And she wanted to keep her home. Even if as a friend.

So she tried. She put aside her insecurities, fears, and doubts and she tried. She sent Kara flowers, with handwritten apologies, for whatever she might have done. And when that didn't work she sent her letters. And then she sent her food, with little messages. Because if there is one thing Kara loves is food. 

She tried every day. Alternating the form of her apology each day. But every day for the next two weeks she did something. Anything. Hoping that would be the day that Kara would speak to her again.

Only now it had been three weeks since they last spoke and Kara still hadn't said anything.

Lena didn't want to give up but she was scared that insisting wasn't the answer. Maybe it would only make her seem clingy. Maybe it would only make it worse.

She felt so alone and _heartbroken_.

What she thought was the start of an actual relationship with Kara had turned out to be the ending of her friendship with her.

She had lost people before but nothing had ever felt quite as devastating as this.

For all that she had lost, losing Kara had broken her the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's small, sorry.  
> But I think it serves its purpose.  
> Hopefully, you get the idea of what Lena feels.


	9. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's POV of the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might clear some things regarding Kara and why she chose to avoid Lena.  
> It will explain where her mind is at and what she is dealing with.

It took her a full day to have her memory fully back of what happened while she was infected by red kryptonite. That was a full day of nearly having panic attacks any time her mind flashed with images of her time together with Lena. Sometimes while she was around her sister. Who she most definitely did not want to share this secret with.

Of course, this situation she found herself in was complicated and it certainly confused her.

Kara had been doing so well at pretending she wasn't gay. Well, maybe not that well. But certainly well enough that people didn't question it.

She even managed to date the same man for months. Granted it wasn't a good relationship. As alike as Mon-El and her were in some aspects, they were opposites. And even if they weren't... She knew complete happiness wasn't in her future.

Regardless, she never planned on actually being with a woman. Not in any way. She had never even kissed one. Not because she hadn't wanted to. Hell, at one point she had blurted out that she would have dated Lucy Lane. Of course, she hadn't thought it through, it had just come out. And how could it not when Lucy was attractive? So yeah, Kara had thought about things. But she had never thought about acting on her urges and feelings. Surely not with Lena. Her friend. Actually, her best friend.

Realistically she knew that it hadn't been her fault. She was under the influence of red kryptonite. She couldn't exactly control herself. 

Only she also knew that red kryptonite only took away her inhibitions. So, in reality, this was all her. It was exactly what she wanted to do. What she would do if she wasn't trying to honor her planet, Krypton. This was what she kept bottled up inside.

And now it was out.

Now Lena _knew_. 

Well, Kara didn't know if Lena knew just what she felt. But at least her best friend knew that she was attracted to her in some way. After all, they had sex. Twice.

And it wasn't as if Kara regretted it. Some part of her wished she could take it back, yes. But another was thankful that she allowed herself to actually do something she had wanted so badly and hadn't allowed herself to have.

The thing was, she didn't know how to deal with her actions.

How was she going to look at Lena again. After having sex with her and clearly not wanting a relationship or anything serious out of this.

Well, that's a lie.

She would love to be in a relationship with Lena. 

 _What- No. Kara. No_.

Scratch that. She wants to find a man who she feels deep things for and date him. That's it.

Kara sighed, letting herself fall into her couch with her phone in her hand. Lena had just sent her a text and she didn't know how to respond. How was she supposed to reject Lena? How? 

It sounded impossible.

How does one reject _Lena Luthor_?

In all honesty, she didn't even trust herself around her.

She was sure the moment she saw Lena again she would give in and just kiss her.

It would be the ultimate betrayal to her planet. 

Like losing it all over again.

Twenty-six years fighting who she was to please her home planet and she had given in because of a rock. _Ridiculous_.

Even more ridiculous was the fact she would give in again if she saw Lena. With or without that damn rock.

She sighed, throwing her phone across the room. Not really thinking about it until it broke apart upon impact.

So Kara ignored Lena and she went out of her way to avoid her friend. 

It was for the best, she told herself.

Although, she wasn't sure of it.

She wasn't entirely sure of much these days.

But ignoring Lena had to be better than telling her it had been meaningless sex, right?

The way Kara saw it was that if things were the other way around she would be heartbroken to be told that it was nothing but sex. That Lena had used her for pleasure. And that there could be nothing serious between them. Of course ignoring her also said that but it meant not facing each other. It meant not hearing those words. It seemed better. At least it did when she imagined what it would be like if Lena was standing in front of her, looking into her eyes and saying those things.

 _Heartbreaking_.

Only, Lena was persistent, Kara found.

In the next weeks she sent her messages. Apologies.

 _Ridiculous_.

She had been the one screwing up. She was the one that was ignoring her. She should be the one apologizing. And she would. _Eventually_.

Whenever she trusted herself enough not to go against Krypton on this. Not to betray her culture and values.

So Kara focused on other things and tried to ignore her best friend.

She spoke to Alex and they fixed their relationship. And her sister even decided to give her more freedom because she understood that ordering Kara around was too much. Kara was an adult and although sometimes she needed help and guidance, she shouldn't have to feel inferior to others.

Kara focused on work too, whether it would be at CatCo or the DEO. She worked hard. Probably harder than ever.

She barely had any free time. When she wasn't working she would be with her sister, trying to make their relationship stronger, or she would be sleeping.

Any other moment she would work.

To the point of exhaustion. 

J'onn had even found her sleeping at various places at the DEO because she had worked so hard and for so long without stopping. He had also yelled at her but that didn't stop her from continuing.

It had been three weeks. 

Only three weeks, which in some way was not long at all.

Yet it felt like decades.

She felt empty. Like something was missing.

Or _someone_.

Definitely someone.

Kara looked at all the handwritten notes and letters Lena sent her. She read them again and again. Clearly torturing herself.

She deserved it. She deserved the pain.

Just like Lena deserved so much _more_  than someone like her.

Kara might be the strongest person on this planet. She might have all these powers. She might be a hero. 

But the reality was that she was not good enough for someone like Lena Luthor.

She was simply a person that was too _afraid and weak_  to follow her heart. 

That night she dreamt of Lena. Only this time it hadn't been like the previous nights. Those had been filled with R-rated dreams of what had happened between them. Or just them kissing. Physical things, really.

Yet that night things changed. She didn't dream of getting physical with Lena. No. She dreamt of a Lena sitting in her office all alone. Probably drinking one of those expensive drinks she kept in there. A Lena wondering why Kara was doing this. Confused and alone. Probably blaming herself. She dreamt of the woman she knew better than, probably anyone. The one who looked so composed and cold in other people's eyes yet she knew was so warm and caring. And she realized something.

When she woke up she knew this had to end.

She had to stop ignoring Lena. Kara had to own up her mistakes and deal with this situation. Avoidance wouldn't take back what happened.

So as she ate breakfast Kara decided today was the day she was going to face Lena.

She owed her that much.

Well, in reality, she owed her everything. Her friend had not only saved the entire alien species and National City but also her life.

"You can do this." she whispered to herself as she left the apartment.

And because Lena deserved better she did not leave only as Kara Danvers. She left with the intent of sharing her secret.

It was time for Lena to know she is _Supergirl_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this made you understand Kara better and hate her a little less for her bad decisions.


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally speak.

Kara had walked out of her apartment with so much confidence. She really thought this was it. This was the right time. This time she could power through the situation, walk up to that office and just spill her guts.

Only it was easier said than done.

The moment she arrived at L-Corp she _froze_. She actually froze. As in she has been standing near the elevators for at least fifteen minutes. Probably more.

When it comes to fighting and risking her life she doesn't hesitate. Yet here she is, hesitating to just go in and face her best friend.

She even considers turning around and just walking away. It would be so much easier. 

Until she thought about Lena. Her friend who hadn't given up on her, somehow. And although Kara didn't deserve it, she couldn't continue to ignore her. It wasn't fair. At the very least she deserved the truth. She deserved to know what had happened. Or at least part of it. 

Kara could do without sharing her feelings.

So she took a deep breath, shook her head and cleared her thoughts. She was Supergirl. If she can fight powerful aliens she can do this.

The moment she finally walked into the elevator Kara felt sick. She felt like her stomach was planning against her. Trying to sabotage what she was about to do. And her lungs might have joined the rebellion against her decision because she felt like she could barely breathe. 

Yet she continued. Forcing herself to walk out of the elevator once it reached the last floor.

First, she spotted Jess, who looked at her like she was unwelcomed there but still faked a smile. Kara guessed that she must have noticed her absence and probably knew about everything Lena had sent her during the previous weeks. She didn't blame her for not liking her. She hardly liked herself at the moment.

But, even with that look that showed how she really felt, Jess still told her she could go ahead and walk into Lena's office. "She's _alone_." She said and Kara could tell she didn't just mean that Lena was alone inside her office. Lena was completely alone again in National City. She could feel the bitterness in the words and a hint of judgment. 

With a nod Kara walked towards the big doors that led to the office, stopping as she faced them, her hand hesitating to open it.

"You can do this." She whispered to herself, hoping Jess hadn't noticed. 

Kara's hands were shaking. She was the most nervous she had been since she was a child and found herself in a whole new planet with powers where everything was foreign to her. She felt just as nervous and just as hopeless. And in all honesty, this was exactly like being on a new planet.

Everything about this was new and terrifying. She had no clue what she was doing or how to act. She had secrets that she had to keep inside yet she also had to allow people in. And she was so scared about these things inside of her that she could not seem to control. Only this time these weren't powers. These were feelings and... hopes. Dreams. This was everything. And she wasn't sure if she could handle it all. Not without allowing it to destroy her in some way.

She still pushed that door. She still took the steps forwards and walked through it. She still stood there, in front of Lena Luthor.

Despite all she was feeling, she walked inside. Because Lena deserved that much. Actually, she deserved everything.

Kara wishes she could give her that much.

Her breathing was unsteady at best, her hands still shaking slightly, although she had been trying to keep them steady. Her eyes avoiding to look directly at Lena's. Afraid of what they might find.

Disappointment. Sadness. Hatred. 

They stood in silence for a few minutes. Neither of them moving nor making any noise at all. Lena stayed on her chair and Kara still stood close to the door.

It took a while but finally, she broke the silence. "I'm sorry."

The words came out as a whisper. She wasn't even sure if Lena heard until she heard her let out a deep breath.

Yet there was no response.

"Lena." Kara spoke, louder this time. Almost pleading for her to say anything.

"You ignore me for _weeks_ and all you say is that?"

Maybe she would rather have the silence back now that she had heard her friend speak for the first time in a while.

"I- It's complicated." Kara started, looking down at her hands, fidgeting nervously. Trying to make sense of her thoughts. "I want to explain what happened. If you let me. I owe you that much. It's just-"

Lena turned around in her chair, now facing the window. "Go on then. I have work to do."

She didn't need super powers to know that Lena was upset. She could tell by her voice and how her attempt at being cold had failed. Her words didn't sound as confident as she intended. There was sadness clear in them. Kara could tell that much.

"I wasn't myself."

Probably not the best words to say after sleeping with someone and ignoring them for weeks. But there they were. And unfortunately, she only realized how bad it sounded after she heard Lena's heartbeat get faster. 

"Is that it?"

Lena was yet again using that cold voice she put on whenever she tried to make it seem like nothing affected her. Kara had named it the Luthor voice. She imagined that was a neat trick Lena learned from her heartless mother. Only she wasn't like Lillian. And maybe other people would have believed she felt nothing. Maybe they would have fallen for it. But not Kara. She knew Lena better than that.

 "No." Kara let out, shaking her head as she tried to gather her thoughts. Taking a deep breath she moved closer to Lena's desk where she was still sitting and looking out the window. "You're my best friend, Lena."

At this, the brunette turned her chair slightly, only enough to look directly at Kara. And for the first time since she walked into the office, her eyes focused on Lena's face. Noticing the dark circles under her eyes. Even with makeup, her vision could tell these slight differences in skin tone. She immediately regretted looking at her. Knowing she might have caused that only made it more difficult to come clean.

"I get it, Kara. I'm your best friend and what happened was a _mistake_ you wish to ignore." 

She should deny that statement. But wasn't it accurate? In a way of course that hadn't felt like a mistake. Not at all. Yet it was one. A big mistake and she did wish she could ignore it. She just wanted things to go back to how they were before.

"No- I mean, yes, you're right." She blurted out, mumbling through the words.

"I was under the influence of k- something. It caused me to do things I shouldn't have done. It made me act in ways I wouldn't have if it weren't for that."

Lena's jaw clenched. She looked hurt but Kara needed to be honest. At least in part because there was no way she would tell her about her feelings. Or how she had wanted that for so long yet kept ignoring it. Or how good kissing Lena felt. Unlike any other kiss she had ever had. No. Kara couldn't say those things. It would only ruin their friendship even more.

So she would do the next best thing. She would finally come clean about who she was.

"Lena." Kara started, getting closer to the window and looking at the view. She couldn't say it while looking directly at her friend. No way. She wasn't that brave. Not when there was a possibility that Lena would want nothing to do with her.

"I trust you. With my life." She started, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I think it's time you know something about me."

Kara was sure that Alex would yell at her for this. J'onn would likely join and Clark, well, she better sit him down for when he finds out.

Yet she continued, unbuttoning the blouse she was wearing. Then she turned around, facing Lena while holding open her blouse, revealing the symbol on her suit.

"I can't say I'm surprised, Kara. It seems you are quite good at deceiving people. And looking unassuming while doing so."

Her words hurt but she couldn't really say Lena was wrong. She wasn't. Kara had been deceiving her. In many ways.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long. But there was never a good time. I thought- you'd only be in more danger if you knew. And then- well, your mother knows but National City was being invaded and there was the thing with my- _boyfriend_. There was too much going on." She took a deep breath, still turned to Lena but avoiding looking at her. Choosing instead to look at the floor between them. "I got infected. With red kryptonite. Last time... I threw Cat Grant off her building, I broke my sister's arm... It was horrible. I lost control. And this time-" She moved her arms around, not being able to admit what happened between them. "You _know_ what happened."

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes before Lena finally spoke. "So I'm the equivalent of you almost murdering Cat Grant and hurting your sister?"

"I- I guess? I had- Last time I wasn't like this. I- I tried to- James and I- Well, I tried to _be with_ him and he rejected me. I got aggressive. I was so hungry for power, for control. I spoke and acted like I was the most powerful person in this world. If I had been like that for longer- I have no doubts I would have done horrible things to the people of National City."

"I see."

Kara started fidgeting with her fingers, not knowing what to say.

"So Supergirl when infected with- red kryptonite, was it? She- You get aggressive and possessive. It certainly _explains_ what happened."

She finally made eye contact with Lena, noticing she was deep in her thoughts. And somehow seemed cold and distant. But not necessarily filled with hatred like she thought.

"Does it?"

"Yes, Sup- Kara." Lena shrugged, turning to her desk. "Red kryptonite seems to make you thirsty for _power_. In whatever capacity. Controlling me in any way makes sense. _I am_ a powerful woman after all. Much like Cat Grant. Honestly, Kara, at the moment I am somewhat relieved that you didn't just throw me off my building."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You were under the influence of kryptonite." The words by themselves sounded like a step forward yet the tone was so cold. Almost sarcastic too. She wasn't sure Lena understood. Or that she forgave her.

Kara nodded but the air between them was still tense. In fact, it felt heavier than before.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I do have work to do."

"I- I'll leave you be." She said shyly, buttoning up her blouse again as she walked towards the door. This was so awkward she just wanted to run away from the office as fast as she could.

"Lena. Thank you. For the- Everything. Thank you for not giving up on me."

Her friend gave her a forced smile as she looked up from the papers on her desk. Not even bothering to make it look genuine enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there isn't a big deal made from Kara being supergirl but I don't think Lena really processed it all. She is just too hurt.


	11. Struggling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Lena POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded twice today. Check the previous chapter, please.

Lena let out a deep breath once she found herself alone in her office.

She hadn't expected Kara to just walk in after ignoring her for so long. She certainly did not expect for her to reveal her identity as Supergirl. And she surely did not predict that what had happened had been caused by Kryptonite.

As strange as her life had been in the months following her moving to National City, it had not prepared her for  _this_.

Her best friend was an alien. Actually, she was one of the most famous aliens, after her cousin, and she was National City's superhero. Not only that but she was one of the two remaining aliens of the species that made her family want to kill aliens. _Great_. And to add to that she had sex with her. _Twice_. Because Kara was under the influence of _Kryptonite_ , which was some kind of space mineral or rock or something. To make it even worse, because apparently all of this was not enough, she was _falling_ for this woman.

 _Great_. 

This is- _great_.

She supposed being a Luthor should have prepared her for anything but when Kara walked into her office she did not expect for her to reveal her secret identity. Or for her to break her heart, yet again, while trying to make things better.

The brunette threw her head back, leaning it against the chair. What a mess.

Of course, had it been anyone else she wouldn't care. At least not as much. Had it been anyone else she would have just been glad for a fun night of pleasure. 

But it had meant so much more to her than just some meaningless fun times.

Lena hadn't expected it to be mutual, not after Kara had ignored her for so long. She had been ready to be told that it had meant nothing or that it was a mistake. She had expected such words to come out of Kara's mouth. She had expected the rejection. 

Although she had been a fool and thought maybe the feelings were mutual and that maybe she could be happy with Kara. Maybe that wonderful woman that had walked into her life unexpectedly and had become her best friend felt the same way she did and they could be together. Reality had hit her, in a hurtful way.

Eventually, she had come to terms with the fact it was not mutual.

Only she hadn't prepared herself for what happened.

How could she?

It wasn't as if Lena was blind to the Supergirl thing. She had noticed when Kara said weird things that could be taken as her being an alien. She had seen first hand how passionate she was about alien issues. And of course, she knew that there was some connection between her, Supergirl, the sister that was an agent and the DEO. Considering it all, she should have just assumed. Only she didn't. Lena considered it, and it was definitely on her possibilities for weird behavior list. Along with Kara simply being an alien. Well, an alien besides Supergirl.

But this wasn't even the issue. She didn't mind that Kara was Supergirl. She liked her. The hero had saved her several times. Hell, Lena sacrificed Jack, whom she loved, to save Supergirl. So she didn't mind it.

She didn't even mind that Kara hadn't told her. Because with everything in their lives, of course, this could be used against them.

What she did mind was how Kara had assumed the way to solve what was wrong between them was to reveal her secret identity.

 _No_.

Lena would prefer to have her friend who hugged her back.

The friend who always made her feel better with her words and was a bit too physical but in a friendly way.

Of course, she could see why Kara could have issues with that. But she couldn't help but wish for it.

Then again, maybe being held by Kara wouldn't be for the best. Maybe it would only make this more difficult and painful.

And then there was the red Kryptonite. Lena was no expert. She only knew what everyone else on the planet did. Green Kryptonite hurts Kryptonians, takes away their powers and could kill them. It wasn't much to go on. Until Kara had spoken about it, she did not know there were other types of Kryptonite. She certainly did not know what they did.

By what Kara revealed she assumed that red Kryptonite made her seek power. Which would make sense if she attacked a powerful woman such as the queen of all media last time she was infected. And considering she apparently got violent. Sounded like she wanted to control others in some way. Be even more powerful than she already was. Be above everyone else.

It hurt, really. Knowing Kara hadn't wanted to do what they did. Of course, she felt bad for her. She wasn't in control of her actions. That alone made Lena feel sick and want to hug her friend. She even wished she could take it all back. Everything that happened between them. Suddenly it felt even more wrong.

Kara had been looking to control her because she was powerful. And it wasn't even a conscious thing.

The thought was sickening, really.

 _Fuck red Kryptonite_.

She made a mental note about how she should look into her mother and make sure she hadn't tried to make red Kryptonite like she and Lex had done with green.

Lena sighed.

She didn't hate Kara. How could she? If anything the problem was that she _cared deeply_ about her. Maybe even more than she was aware. 

And she felt bad. She felt betrayed and hurt. But she also felt for Kara. It must be hard to go through this.

She almost excused how she had reacted to everything. Surely it would be challenging to react in a proper way after going through something like that. After losing control and sleeping with someone you didn't want in that way. No wonder she had avoided her.

But she was still mad. She still wanted to shake Kara and let her know she had broken her heart. She wanted her to know just what she had done to her. But she didn't.

She _couldn't_.

Lena cared  _too much_  to hurt her back.

So she had been cold, distant and a slight  _bitch_. 

That would do for now.

She would just focus on work and try to go back to being just friends with Kara. After she managed to put her feelings back in a box and hide them inside her. 

It's a _good_ plan.

Not really, but one can pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short. It's just a little extra Lena POV.


	12. First step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alien bar with Superfriends and heart-to-heart talk with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 chapters in 24 hours? Call me inspired. Your comments do this to me. Don't forget to read the ones before this.

Kara still didn't know how to act around Lena. Well, not that she had been around her since they had the awkward conversation in which she revealed her secret identity.

But they had exchanged texts and it was awkward, to say the least.

In her defense, she had tried really hard to sound like she normally did but it did not help that Lena's replies were all so... formal and impersonal. Which caused small talk to happen.

It was almost physically painful to have that sort of conversation with her best friend.

So Kara was sitting while staring at her texts, waiting for her sister so they could go to the bar. She just needed to clear her mind and maybe alcohol would help.

"Sorry I had to write that report of today's mission. Are you ready to go?"

"I've been ready for at least an hour, Alex."

"Yeah, yeah. Not everyone has superspeed."

She chuckled, placing her phone on her pocket before following her sister out the door.

Once they arrived at the bar Alex turned to her as she hesitated walking inside. It's not that she didn't want to spend time with her friends. It's that this would be the first time since Mon-El had been gone that she would be there. Someone had certainly replaced him by now. It was a strange feeling.

She knew she didn't love Mon-El. Not like that. But she had dated him. He had been her longest relationship. The closest thing to a partner that Krypton would have approved. The what if was still in there. The almost. And then there was the part that was relieved she wasn't walking into the bar only to have to fake a smile and kiss him. Only to feel forced to act happy in that relationship when it felt like a duty.

Her sister must have noticed her hesitation because she looked back at her with that expression of concern she sometimes had. "I didn't realize, Kara." She spoke softly, turning to place her hand on her upper arm. "We can go somewhere else."

Kara shook her head, smiling softly at her sister. "No. It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Alex. It's alright." She assured her with a nod. "Now let's go. I feel like today is the day I'll beat you all at pool."

Her sister laughed, nudging her slightly. "When did you become a comedian?"

As they walked inside they easily spotted their friends sitting at a table, offering them smiles and Winn waving wildly. She guessed he must have had some drinks already.

"Hey, everyone."

"How are you doing Kara?" Maggie asked, with that kind smile that made anyone feel at ease.

"I'm good. Work has been tiring but at least I'm getting things to write about. I could use a drink though."

Her friend turned to kiss Alex as she sat beside her before turning her head back to her. "Am I finally going to see drunk Kara?"

"Maybe." She responded with a shrug. 

The truth was that she needed the drink. After everything she had been dealing with, she just wanted to clear her mind somehow. And maybe getting drunk would help her with that. Not like she had much experience with drinking. She had only been drunk once when Mon-El showed her alcohol for aliens the first time. Any other time she hadn't drunk enough to experience that.

When the waitress came over they all ordered their drinks. Proceeding to talk about their week. Kara didn't pay much attention. Maybe that was rude but her mind was elsewhere. She tried, she would even ask questions or offer commentary but her thoughts kept drifting to Lena and how messy their relationship was at the moment.

After everyone was obviously slightly drunk they started playing pool. Well, almost everyone. J'onn offered to stay sober so he could take both James and Winn home. And Alex had only one drink so she could drive Maggie home. Kara had insisted on getting a uber home, if necessary. Well, after her sister argued that flying home drunk was as reckless as driving, possibly even more. To which Kara had rolled her eyes but finally agreed to get home the human way, by car.

Kara was confident and definitely knew how to talk trash while drunk. She also spoke a lot of nonsense apparently. During the game, she had spent at least five minutes talking about pool and the science behind playing it well. Right before failing to get any ball in, something that caused everyone to start laughing and Kara to pout.

They made the game into a competition so after Kara got eliminated from it, she sat down beside Winn. Who had been the first out of the competition.

"Welcome to the losers club." He said, slurring his words.

Kara chuckled, sitting down across from him. "I've always wanted to join."

Winn laughed, holding onto his beer as if it was keeping him from falling off the chair.

While he paid attention to the others who were still playing she checked her phone, looking through her texts with Lena yet again.

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes met Winn's right away, he looked curious and she knew how persistent he could be so there was no use in denying it. 

With a sigh she finally spoke. "What gave it away?"

" _Crinkle_."

"It's _always_  that damn crinkle."

Winn chuckled before getting serious again. "You can talk to me. I'm excellent at keeping secrets. I'm like...a chamber of secrets. Yes."

That caused Kara to almost fall from her chair from laughing. 

"What are you kids laughing about?" Maggie questioned, sitting down on the table.

"You lost?"

"I _let_ your sister win."

"Sure you did."

Maggie punched her arm lightly, complaining about it right after. "Girl of Steel indeed."

Kara made an innocent looking face before taking a sip of her drink.

She reached for her phone again. Deciding to text Lena. Why? She had no idea. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe she just wanted this awkwardness to end. Probably both.

 **Kara:** Are you any good at pool?

She regretted the message right away. What even was that? It was such a dumb meaningless question. Why did she send it? Well, now it was too late to take it back.

Her friend replied a minute after. Only it felt more like half an hour had passed.

 **Lena:** It's a game of math and physics. Of course I am.

Rolling her eyes once she read the message, a fond smile growing on her face. Winn had once stated the same and he was the absolute worst.

 **Kara:** You should come.

 **Kara:** I meant you should go out with me

 **Kara:** Us

 **Kara:** My friends and I

Although autocorrect was saving the awful spelling, she sure messed up the context.

Kara scolded herself. Especially when Lena didn't reply even after having read the messages five minutes ago.

She sighed, dropping the phone on the table. Clearly frustrated. 

Alex was next to her, apparently. Something she hadn't noticed until she looked at her with that look. The one with the crinkle between her eyebrows that showed that she knew something was off. She hated that look.

"What?" She asked her sister who kept staring at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The blonde shook her head, looking away from her sister and deciding to focus on the drink in front of her.

"I don't think I can."

Her sister placed her hand on her shoulder, her voice softening as she spoke again. "You can tell me anything, Kara."

After a few moments of silence, she continued. "Remember our conversations after what happened? We need to _communicate_. And even if it has nothing to do with me or us, you can still come to me. I'm your sister, Kara. I will _always_ be here for you."

Kara simply nodded. She didn't know how to put her feelings and concerns to words. She didn't even know if she would be able to voice those things she had kept inside for so long. And then there were the things she had done while under the influence of red Kryptonite. How would she voice that?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She found herself shrugging but her sister could tell that was her way of hesitatingly saying yes.

"How about I get Maggie a ride home and we two go to my place? We can talk there. I have ice cream."

Kara finally looked at her sister who looked so kind and understanding. Alex was the best. And for the first time since the red Kryptonite accident, she felt confident she would be able to share what was going on inside of her. At least partially.

"That sounds great, Alex. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, kid. I _always_ have your back."

 

\- - - - - -

 

After Alex and J'onn made sure everyone had a ride home and after dealing with everyone complaining about how they weren't even that drunk while also tripping over their own feet and slurring their words, they finally managed to get home.

It wasn't easy. As Alex pointed out once they arrived at her apartment. Clearly, a drunk Kryptonian is not the best company to have on a motorcycle.

"Ice cream first?"

Kara stumbled through the apartment, settling down on the couch before responding. "Of course. I haven't stopped thinking about the ice cream since you mentioned it."

She could see Alex smiling as she looked at her before turning around and preparing a bowl of ice cream for herself. Along with the rest of the box for Kara. Because of course, a bowl would not be enough.

The sisters settled on the couch, covering themselves with a blanket and eating in silence.

"I did _something_." She finally whispered, so low that she wasn't even sure her sister had heard until Alex looked at her.

Alex raised an eyebrow at Kara. "What do you mean?"

"I told Lena I'm Supergirl."

She could tell Alex was trying really hard not to yell at her, judging by her expression. After a couple of minutes, she seemed to have softened up and that's when she finally decided to speak again.

"She's my _best_ friend, Alex. I trust her. With my _life_. I've wanted to tell her for so long but I never found the right moment and then... I wanted her to know."

Her sister took a deep breath, eating some ice cream before responding. "Okay. She does need to sign some documents but if you trust her, who am I to argue against it. You know her better than I do. And you haven't been wrong so far. In fact, she has saved all our asses several times."

Kara's smile grew the more Alex spoke. She liked Lena and she supported her decision. This was amazing. She thought that Alex would fight her. Probably call her out on being reckless about revealing her secret identity to a Luthor, of all people. But no. Alex was supportive and next thing she knew she was hugging her sister tightly.

"Thank you."

Alex seemed confused when Kara pulled away from the hug. Looking at her curiously as if trying to figure out some math equation.

"Is this why you've been acting weird?"

Now she was the one confused. Had she been acting weird? Towards Lena, yes. But she hadn't realized she might have been acting weird around everyone else.

"I don't know what you mean, Alex. I've been perfectly normal. Just good ol' Kara."

"Kara." Her sister spoke softly, placing her bowl on the coffee table before reaching to hold Kara's hands. "You haven't been your usual cheerful self. At first, I thought it was because of what happened between us due to the Kryptonite. But after we talked and grew even closer I started to wonder. Did something else happen? You don't smile as brightly, you barely hang out with us as a group, even when it's just the two of us you're not as happy as you used to be. It feels like there's something in your mind at all moments. And don't think I haven't noticed how you've been overworking yourself."

She avoided looking at Alex. She was absolutely right but she wasn't even sure how to explain what was going on. And she wasn't sure she wanted to share it yet.

Maybe she could share without really telling her sister what happened. No details, only the general idea. Sounded like a solid plan.

At least her drunk brain thought so.

"I- something else did happen."

Alex nodded, encouraging her to go on.

"I saw Lena."

Her sister seemed to be trying to think of what might have happened between them. She could almost see her brain trying to work out something that would result in Kara telling her she was Supergirl.

"I- Some things happened and I think- Well, I hope not but I might have lost her as a friend. At least- things are weird." She sighed, taking a moment to gather up her thoughts before continuing. "You know me. Sometimes I avoid things. I don't know how to- deal with things. And I ignored her. I think she _hates_ me, Alex."

"Wait. Did you reveal your secret because of the red Kryptonite, then ignored her and now she hates you? Is that it?"

"No?"

" _I'm lost_."

"I- did something worse. Then ignored her so I tried to fix it. I'm Supergirl, that's what I do. I save the day." She said dramatically, still slurring her words and gesturing wildly. "I don't think telling her my secret helped."

Alex sighed, her shaking her head in frustration. "Kara, how does that even make sense?"

"I thought you weren't supposed to _judge_ me."

"I'm not. I just- I don't understand."

"It doesn't matter. Lena is just weird. I'll find a way to fix things. I _have_ to."

"You really care about her, don't you?"

Kara nodded, before sighing. " _So much_." It took her a second to notice what she said, deciding to add something to her. "She's my _best_ friend."

"Do you want my advice?"

She nodded again, paying extra attention to what her sister was about to say.

"Talk to her. That's how we fixed our relationship, right? That's the best way to fix whatever is wrong between you two."

"I already tried."

"Did you? Or did you drop the Supergirl bomb on her and expected things to get better?"

"Huh, the second one?" She whispered, shamefully.

"So next time try to _actually_ talk to her."

Kara nodded, suddenly feeling extremely tired as she laid on her sister's couch, covering herself with the blanket.

"When did you get all wise?" She let out, eyes closed.

Alex chuckled, getting up from the couch. "Someone had to make up for your lack of wiseness."

"Ei." She protested but she didn't move. She felt too tired.

"Alex."

"Yes?"

"Do you think my parents would be proud of me?"

"They'd be fools not to be."

Kara simply nodded, falling asleep seconds later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. Next chapter won't be of Kara and Lena talking about it. Unfortunately, Kara isn't ready although she did take Alex's advice into account.


	13. Big sister duties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex confronts Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted 3 chapters yesterday. Make sure you have read all 3.

Alex wasn't happy about this. Happy was far from what she felt at the moment.

But as Kara's big sister it was her _duty_  to help her out. Even when her sister was clueless to the fact she _desperately_ needed her help.

She had tried to simply give her advice and it seemed like Kara understood what she needed to do. Yet a few days had passed and _nothing_ had changed.

Kara was still acting weird, she was still faking smiles, frowning at her phone and overworking herself. And Alex had questioned why that was. Only to find out Kara hadn't spoken to Lena Luthor. Although, her sister had argued texting was the same as speaking. Something she would be willing to agree with if their conversations hadn't simply been about the non-disclosure agreement that Lena had to sign.

So, as any good big sister would do, she sucked it up and decided to do this herself. She did _need_  those documents signed so she figured that she would get to the CEO's office, get her to sign them and maybe exchange a few words with her.

Maybe she could make sense of what happened between those two. It seemed strange that they had gone from best friends to whatever they were now just like that.

Of course, she knew what red Kryptonite Kara was capable of but she had seemed much calmer this time around. More honest and still intense, but she couldn't come up with anything that could have happened that made sense.

If Kara had hurt her then she would surely have told her. _Right_?

Honestly, Alex had no idea what to expect but after speaking to Maggie about how strangely Kara had been acting she came to the conclusion that maybe she needed to investigate this case.

She didn't want to go behind her sister's back but she knew how Kara could be. She _hated_ confrontation with people she cared about. That's why red Kryptonite always caused fights. Because she kept it all inside and then _exploded_.

Soon enough she was outside Lena's office, waiting for her to finish a meeting and call her in.

Alex wasn't exactly nervous, she would argue that such thing was _impossible_. Alex Danvers does not get nervous. But she was anxious. Not for herself but for Kara. What if Lena _did hate_ Kara? What would she tell her sister?

She shook her head, trying not to be negative. Kara would be heartbroken to find out that her best friend hated her because of whatever happened while she wasn't in control.

"Ms. Luthor will see you now." The secretary spoke, walking with her to the door.

Her sister had mentioned her name before but she couldn't remember it now so she simply smiled.

Walking into the office, it was exactly what she had expected. Classy, cold, maybe a bit too impersonal. It was a typical modern office for a powerful CEO.

It matched the image she had in her mind of Lena but it did not match the person Kara would constantly speak about. Her sister made Lena sound so... _warm_. Looking at her now, she didn't see it.

"Agent Danvers. What can I help you with?"

Alex could easily recognize the business tone. All cold and serious. Perfect for a CEO.

"I believe my sister spoke to you about a non disclosure agreement." She said, walking up to the desk, papers in her hand.

"Yes,  _that_."

Lena did not sound pleased about it.

"I know you must be a busy person so I thought I would bring them here. Make things _easier_."

She placed the papers on the desk, crossing her arms as she stared at the woman in front of her. Trying to read her expression.

"How considerate of you." She said, smiling yet her tone made it clear she was not amused by the situation.

"Like I said, I'm only trying to make things easier."

"I see." Lena started to read the papers, which she had expected. Of course such a smart business woman would not just sign legal documents without reading them over. "Can I ask you something?"

Alex got caught off guard but maybe this question was exactly what she needed to figure out what was going on. "I can't guarantee an answer, but you can ask it."

Lena raised an eyebrow, looking at her for a few seconds before looking back at the document.

"How did you _stop_ her?"

"What?"

The CEO stopped reading, sighing before focusing on her. "Kara. Well, Supergirl. How did you stop her?"

"That's- none of your concern, Ms. Luthor."

How _dare_ she ask such a question?

Why would she even want to know such thing?

Alex did not like this. At all.

"You're mistaken." Lena spoke, crossing her arms as she stared at her. There was nothing but determination and coldness in her eyes. How Kara cared so much about this woman was beyond her. "She came to me, agent. She could have easily _killed_ me. I was lucky."

Sure, Kara had got aggressive the first time around. Yet this time she had only roughed up a few criminals. Granted, she did not know what had happened between Kara and Lena.

"Did she hurt you?"

"No."

"Then it is not of your concern, Ms. Luthor."

Lena scoffed, closing the papers and sliding them across the table.

"I am only human, agent. I don't know what your sister is capable of when she is not in control of herself and I do need a way to defend myself if she comes after me again. She did not hurt me. Not in  _that_ way. But the fact is, she could have. If it had crossed her mind, she would have and I wouldn't have been able to protect myself. I _clearly_ do not own green Kryptonite so I would appreciate it if you told me of another method."

Alex understood the concern but that was Kara. She was her best friend. How could she speak of her like that?

"Are you-? I can not- How _dare_ you?"

Okay, maybe raising her voice at Lena was not the best way to do this but that sure wasn't going to stop her.

"Excuse you?"

"Kara has been nothing but supportive of you. Since day one. She- Do you know what she has done for you? When you were arrested everyone thought you were guilty. Not one person stood by you. Except for Kara. She didn't doubt you. Not for one second. I saw it myself. She fought against _everyone_. Even her own boss. She went and fought to save you when your own mother kidnapped you, knowing she might _die_. But you know what? She did _not_ hesitate. And when you were on that spaceship? She worked with your mother. Someone who wants her dead. Because that's who Kara is. She doesn't give up on the people she _loves_. And she trusts them blindly. And for whatever reason, you are one of those people."

Lena was shocked, or at least she looked like it. Staring at her with her mouth parted. Hell, Alex was shocked that she had said those things as well.

"I don't know what happened between you two but Kara has always stood by your side. _Always_. She trusts you and you want to know how to stop her in case she comes to hurt you?"

They stood there in silence before Lena sighed. She looked defeated.

"I- Kara, she is- I _care_ for her. I do. But she told me about red Kryptonite. Well, she told me that last time she hurt you and she nearly killed Cat Grant. And- I don't know what exactly that Kryptonite does. Next time she might decide to come for _me_."

Alex shook her head. "She wouldn't."

"How can you be so sure? Didn't she break your arm? She doesn't sound like herself when she's under the influence of it. She sounds hungry for power."

She was definitely confused. Of course, she understood why Lena would assume that was the case but she was wrong.

"Did Kara explain what red Kryptonite does to her?"

When she saw Lena shake her head, Alex sighed. _Damn it, Kara_. Of course, this whole thing had been caused by miscommunication. Her sister had probably blurted out something about red kryptonite and forgotten to explain it. And now she was the one that needed to educate Lena on this. Kara definitely owed her after this.

Alex sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I understand your concern. Last time my sister was going through some _issues_ related to her identity as Supergirl and how to deal with everyone's expectations of her and that caused her to act aggressively. Not because she sought power but because she wanted to communicate what she felt inside. Only, Kara is an overly positive person so what was inside her were all those negative things other people usually let out one way or the other. So obviously, by letting it all out at once, her actions were not _nice_. But she didn't hurt Cat. She wanted to prove her point. And when she hurt me it was because she didn't want to go back to how she normally is."

Lena seemed confused still so she continued. 

"I don't know what she did to you but this time all she did to me was call me out on my behavior towards her. You know why? Because she would never do it without the red Kryptonite. She is too nice to tell me when I make her feel bad. She's too _selfless_."

Now she had a crinkle. Like Kara when she was confused, worried or lying. 

"I know it can be scary to know she has so much power over all of us but you have to trust her. Like she trusts you."

"She can _kill_ me, agent."

"She wouldn't."

"How do you _know_?"

"Red Kryptonite takes away _inhibitions,_ Lena. She wouldn't hurt you just because she isn't in control. She has no reason to."

"What?"

"She has no reason to hurt you."

"No. I-" She seemed to be lost in her thoughts and frankly, Alex was still confused. But at least Lena now knew what red Kryptonite was. Maybe that would help her make sense of what had happened. She figured that they must have had a really big fight. Lena certainly did not look injured. Although, there had been a month.

"Just give her a chance."

"I know you love your sister but you clearly don't know the first thing about what happened."

"Fair enough. I still need this signed, though." Alex spoke, sliding the papers again to her side of the desk.

Lena stared at her, she almost expected her to argue against signing it. Until she did so. Sliding them back to her.

"Just think about what I said. Kara has been really down since she was under the influence of it. Mostly because she thinks you hate her."

"You should ask your sister about what happened. Maybe then you won't assume I'm the one who has to do _something_ about this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild Alex POV appears. Nex up Alex calls out Kara (maybe?). Alex is the MVP.


	14. I'm not like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Sanvers and Alex confronting Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this tomorrow but I finished it early so here you go. So make sure you read both chapters posted today.

Alex didn't go to Kara right after she walked out of the office. She considered it and decided she would leave her be until the next day. Maybe her sister would realize what she was doing and make it right. And she could avoid having to call her out.

Highly unlikely but she was trying to remain as positive as Kara usually was.

Getting home she sighed, launching herself into the couch where Maggie was sitting, watching some action movie.

"How did it go?"

"I think my sister is hopeless and I might have to yell at her tomorrow."

" _Jesus_. That bad?"

She simply nodded as a response, grabbing her fiancée's beer that was placed on the coffee table and taking a sip.

" _Ah_. What do you think you're doing? Move your lazy ass and get your own beer."

"But I had such a _rough_ day." Alex tried her best to make one of Kara's signature pouts. The ones that ensured she wouldn't hear a no.

Maggie rolled her eyes, hitting her arm. "Your sister does it so much better, Danvers. You're just _lucky_ I love you."

Alex smiled as she saw her get up and move towards the kitchen. Grabbing another beer from the fridge.

"Should we order in and you can tell me all about your day?"

"Yes, _please_. I need food."

"One could argue take out is hardly food, you know?"

"Well, one would be very _wrong_."

Maggie rolled her eyes before dialing the number to their favorite Chinese place. Ordering their favorites immediately.

 

\- - - - - -

 

"Wanna talk about your sister? I can see your brain overworking. If you hadn't gotten rid of the smoke alarm it would be beeping right now."

Alex nudged her, a big smile appearing on her face. She enjoyed the teasing too much. It was kind of their thing.

"Remind me why I proposed."

"Because you love me, _obviously_."

"Huh, sounds fake."

"Shut up, Danvers."

They laughed and sat there while eating in silence for a few minutes. Maggie knew better than to insist. She always allowed Alex time to process things and for her to speak whenever she felt comfortable to do so. And Alex appreciated that.

"Something happened between Kara and Lena."

Maggie raised an eyebrow at her, a dimpled smile appearing a second later. "So Kara  _finally_ got the girl?"

What was she talking about?

"What? _No_. Maggie. You know my sister is _straight_." 

That was absurd. Kara was one of the straightest people she knew. She had never shown romantic interest in anyone besides men before. Especially Lena Luthor. Kara was always saying the word friend when talking about Lena. Obviously it wasn't more than friendship.

"Sure. _My bad_. Go on then."

Her fiancée did not sound convinced, at all. But Alex did not argue. The purpose of the conversation wasn't to debate Kara's sexuality.

"I meant that Kara _saw_ Lena while under the influence of the red Kryptonite. I don't know exactly what happened but Lena asked me about ways to ensure she could stop Supergirl if necessary. I think they might have had a big fight. And Kara did her thing, apparently. She blurted out her secret, mentioned red Kryptonite and left behind a very confused Lena Luthor. And of course, _I_ had to deal with that."

"Hmm. So what are you going to do?"

"I think I need to sit my sister down. I know we have all noticed how off she has been these past weeks. She needs to _actually_  talk to Lena."

"Good call, Danvers." She was happy that Maggie sounded supportive of her plan. "You might have to convince a stubborn alien, though. I'd recommend adding _food_  to the plan."

Good idea. The way to Kara was through her stomach.

 

\- - - - - -

 

She had told Kara that there was something important she needed to tell her and they had decided to have a sisters night. Take out and all. Which was a good idea if she was meant to get Kara to do something she might fight against.

It was for her own good. Alex couldn't take this Lena drama any longer. Her sister needed to go and fix her shit.

Of course, Alex would be nicer about it. Maybe. She would  _try_ at least.

Walking into Kara's house, since she had a key there was no need to knock, she spotted her sister already eating in the couch.

"Kara." She called out. "You could have _waited_ for me."

"You know I can't resist pizza."

Alex rolled her eyes, grabbing a beer from the fridge and joining her sister.

"So, what did you want to talk about that was so urgent?"

She sounded eager which almost caused Alex to chuckle. Kara would not be happy once she realized why they needed to talk.

"You."

"What?"

She grabbed a slice of pizza, eating a bite before looking back at her sister. "You and _Lena_."

"We already talked about  _that_ , Alex."

"No." She responded quickly, tired of her sister avoidance of the problems present. "You vaguely mentioned that you told her your secret identity."

"Yes, well, that's what happened."

"Right." She put down the pizza and decided to drink some beer. Alcohol courage and all that. Maybe it would help her with this conversation. "I spoke to Lena."

Kara's eyes widened. She could see the panic in her eyes. 

"I- you-"

"Calm down. I went over there for her to sign the NDA and I might have talked to her about whatever is going on between you two."

"Alex-"

"Why didn't you just _explain_ what red Kryptonite _really_ does?"

"What?"

"Lena was _scared_ , Kara. She asked me if there was a way she could stop you if you tried to hurt her."

"She did?"

Alex could tell her sister was still panicking and distressed.

"Yes. I explained that you wouldn't."

"I-"

"You need to talk to her."

"I can't."

"Why? You clearly _care_ about her, Kara. She _cares_ about you. You are _best_ friends."

"It's- I just _can't_."

"Kara." She reached to hold her sister's hand, noticing how she was shaking. "I don't know what happened but you can fix it. Just talk to her."

"Stop, Alex. I can't." Kara almost yelled, face red as she spoke.

"Why not? Because talking to her sounds a lot better than moping around."

"I'm not like _you_."

Alex sat in silence wondering what she was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not-" Kara gestured towards her, scruffing her nose. 

"Kara I can't read minds."

Her sister crossed her arms, hesitating to speak again.

"I had _sex_ with her."

"You _what_?" Alex did not mean to blurt that out but she did. She had not expected that.

"I- You know how I get. I guess... I was _lonely_ and I went to Lena and-"

Alex did not buy it. No. That did not sound like a reason for red Kryptonite Kara to do anything.

"Are you _sure_?"

"I _do_ remember what happened, Alex."

"No. I meant, are you sure that's why?"

Kara bit her lip and that's all the confirmation Alex needed.

"Do you... _like_ her?"

"What? Don't be _ridiculous_ , Alex. I'm _straight_. Super straight. I- I've only dated guys. _Men_. No women."

She was rambling and Alex could see that crinkle she always had whenever she lied.

Maybe Maggie had been right after all.

"It's okay, Kara. To not be straight."

She held her sister's hand, trying to be supportive of her.

"No. It's _not_."

Ouch. Alex felt like she just got shot, right in the heart.

"What? Are you- I can _not_ believe you, Kara." She was now yelling. She had gotten up from the couch and was yelling while pacing around the apartment.

"That's- I just- It's not okay for _me_ , Alex. You know I support _you_."

"You don't _have_  to be straight, Kara. Sometimes people realize it later on in their life. Like me."

"It's not like  _that_."

"Then explain to me what it is like."

"I- It's _wrong_."

Alex stared at her, frowning before her sister realized what she had said and started to awkwardly gesture.

"No. Not like that. I- _Krypton_. It's wrong there. Or- was. It was wrong there."

Oh, that definitely explained a lot.

"So you think you can't be anything but straight because of Krypton? You're not there anymore, Kara."

"I know." She whispered back.

She sighed, drinking some more beer. Alex wished she had waited until she was drunk, or at least tipsy, to have this conversation.

"So you've been avoiding Lena because you two had sex and you think you have to be straight?"

Kara nodded.

"Well, for one a lot of straight people experiment. And secondly, you don't have to be anything but yourself, if you're not straight then it's okay."

Her sister gave her a small smile but she still seemed off. Alex really wasn't all that good at this stuff. Maggie was the relationship and gayness advice expert in the relationship.

"Do you _like_ Lena?"

Kara shrugged. She didn't know if she simply did not want to respond or didn't know what she felt.

"Does she _like_ you?"

There was a moment of silence before Kara spoke. "I- No. I think she sees me as a _friend_."

"Well- She did go along with- it. _Right_?"

Kara nodded.

"Right. You should really talk to her, Kara."

"I don't know _how_ to."

"Look. I'm not an expert at this or anything. But Lena was scared and she's probably confused, Kara. I know I would hate to make a friend suffer. And I know you. Kara, you would do anything for your friends. Right now Lena needs you to toughen up and talk to her. I know you'll do the right thing."

"What if I can't?"

"You're Kara. You can do _anything_."

"Right."

They spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating the pizza. For once Kara did not try to make her watch some romantic comedy. Alex thought that might have something to do with the Lena situation.

"I'm going to do it."

"See? I told you. You can do anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have Supercorp interactions.
> 
> Also, Sanvers are engaged but haven't told anyone yet.


	15. I'm...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally communicate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you have all been waiting for. Lena's POV

After the revelation that red Kryptonite wasn't exactly what she thought, Lena was left even more confused.

That raised a new set of questions she did not have the answer for. And it wasn't as if she could just ask Kara. Her friend was still acting like nothing has happened. At least judging from her texts. 

Lena had started to hate those texts. Well, somewhat. The reality was that even the fact that Kara had _thought_ about her enough to send her a text made her happy. But she hated how the girl acted like nothing was wrong between them.

It wasn't as if she needed to be bothered worrying about it though. Seeing as Kara hadn't texted her in a while. Certainly not since she had seen Alex.

But it had only been a couple of days and judging by the news Supergirl had been busy fighting bad guys.

So that left Lena wondering.

Before she had assumed Kara had gone to her in a power play move. Having sex with a powerful woman sure sounded like a good way to seek that power and control she thought Kara wanted.

Turns out she was wrong. And for once she did not know if being wrong was a bad or a good thing.

At least she knew Kara wanted what happened. To some extent. But, that did not mean much. Not when it could have been something other than genuinely wanting to be with her. Not when it did not mean Kara felt the same way.

 Lena thought of all possibilities. Or at least the ones she was able to come up with. She made a mental list of them and went over each.

First on the list was mutual feelings. Now, this was the ideal scenario. Of course, it was also the less likely. Kara could have feelings for her as well. She could have acted on them and then... Well, then she could be hesitant about what she feels, struggling to accept these feelings or unsure of what Lena felt. The last of which was ridiculous because she was sure even Jess knew how she felt. Actually, she had noticed that her employees had started some betting pool on Kara and her. She was unsure of what that was all about and decided she would be better of in ignorance.

The second possibility was that Kara had been experimenting. That's a thing straight people do, right? Kara had told her she was straight before during a conversation. Maybe red Kryptonite her had done what normal Kara couldn't do and tried out what it felt like to be with a woman. She hoped that wasn't the case. Being used like that would hurt. A lot. 

And then there was the third possibility. Kara was simply horny or something and had gone for Lena because of course, she can tell she would happily be a part of this. Well, before she knew just what this was. That would also hurt.

She couldn't help but think that the possibility of Kara using her for pleasure or to ensure she was straight was too strong.

Lena sighed, trying to focus on the paperwork again but everything seemed so _unimportant_ when she kept thinking about what had happened.

Who cares about a financial report when Kara Danvers had kissed her like she was hungry for her. Not anyone else but _her_. Lena. And she had slept with her. And the desk... God. How was she supposed to focus when she was using the same desk where Kara had done those things to her?

And then, of course, there were the evil reminders that Kara had ignored her for so long. Only to walk into her office and drop the Supergirl bomb on her and give her some half-assed explanation to what she did.

Lena was mad.

Lena was also missing Kara.

And her lips.

And the way she smelled.

And that laugh.

But Lena was still mad at Kara.

Lena was mad and confused. 

She was also hurt.

If someone had asked her before if she thought that Kara, out of everyone, would ever hurt her Lena would have denied such possibility right away. Not even needing to give it a second thought.

Of course, she knew that Kara was still caring and she recognized this might be difficult for her. Even if she was using her for experimenting or something. Kara hadn't been in control. And knowing her and how awkward she could get, it didn't surprise her that they hadn't really been able to communicate. Yet Lena didn't want to take the first step. No. She would do anything for Kara. She had done everything for her. From going against her mother to sacrificing someone she loved and she would have done it all again. Of course, some of it had been to protect Supergirl. Not Kara. But who was she kidding? She had tried to make herself think that maybe Kara was just a normal alien, maybe she wasn't even one. She had denied what she knew in her heart to be true since day one. All because she knew it would make everything complicated. But the truth was, deep down this had influenced everything she had done. And although she wouldn't admit it, she knew that. Despite everything she always had Kara's back. Maybe that's why this hurt so much. And it's why for once she's going to sit and wait.

Supergirl had saved her multiple times. Kara had been there for her through everything. But she wasn't there right now. When she had been the one causing the pain she felt. That only made things worse.

She heard something outside in her balcony and her mind immediately associated it to the sound of Supergirl landing on it. Taking a second to compose herself she turned her chair slightly as Kara walked in.

This was the first time she actually saw her with the suit while knowing exactly who she is. Or while having the confirmation. She had shown her the symbol she wore proudly on her chest but seeing her like this felt different.

There was a different Kara standing in front of her. A more confident one. Still the same woman, of course. But this was a side reserved for Supergirl or the very few times when Kara would be taking no shit. Lena had seen that side of her a few times. Like when that cop had walked in and arrested her. 

Kara started pacing around her office, closely to her desk and she was curious as to what exactly was going on. Were they finally going to speak about what happened? Was she going to get an actual explanation?

"If you're here to reveal some other big secret about your identity to me don't be bothered, Kara. I don't care much if you're secretly _Batman_ or anything of sorts."

She stopped walking and looked slightly offended. Her mouth parted and struggling to form words. It was rather adorable but Lena tried her best to remain in character as a CEO who takes no shit.

Lena's eyebrow raised when Kara placed her hands on her hips, clearly a pose meant to look powerful and to give her confidence. She had noticed she did that quite a lot to keep herself from being the typical rambling awkward Kara. It was rather endearing.

"I'm here because Alex made me realize I'm not the best at communicating and that... I wasn't fair to you. I did- things. And then I avoided it all with no explanation. Well, I believe I owe you one for my behavior. You're my friend and I don't want our relationship to be ruined by what I did. Not without me really trying to fix this." She was now gesturing between the both of them rather adorably.

Ugh, Lena wanted to scold herself. She's meant to be mad at the woman standing in front of her yet when she's so adorably Kara it's difficult to remember why she's even mad.

"Go on then. I'm listening."

"Right." She watched as Kara pointed at the couch in her office. The one they used whenever they needed to have a particularly personal conversation. "Can we?"

Lena got up from her chair, signaling for her to go ahead. 

They had their own sides of the couch. One of those simple things that Lena hadn't truly realized until now. 

That's so... Domestic.

She cleared her head of such thoughts. 

 _You're still mad, Lena. Remember what she did this past month_.

Right.

"I don't really know how to do this so please just... Don't expect me to sound... You know."

She eyed her curiously. Was she going to get the _it's not you it's me_ conversation? Or a variation of it in which Kara revealed that she only saw her as a friend and what happened had been a mistake? 

Lena thought that might be it.

She should have got a drink on her way to the couch.

"Krypton."

Why was Kara stating the name of her planet?

"Your planet, yes. What about it?"

"Right. So... Well, I need to start from the beginning. I'm sorry about the Kara 101 you're about to endure."

Oh, that sounded like the opposite of a problem. Well, at least it would had it been any other moment. Because right now Lena was nervous and scared. She was sure this conversation would break her heart and Kara wanted to tell her about herself? Right now?

She definitely needed that drink.

"My name isn't Kara Danvers. Well, it is. I love the Danvers but... My birth name is Kara Zor-El. You might already know that because... Superman's background is common knowledge. Anyways, the House of El was my family and they were very powerful back on Krypton. That meant there were certain expectations when it came to me." Kara stopped to touch her glasses only to realize that she wasn't wearing them. Lena almost smiled at that. "There things were different. For the most part, Krypton was open minded. Women could be anything they wanted and knowledge was so ahead of Earth's."

Lena could see the admiration in Kara's eyes. She loved her planet still. But she could also see the pain in them. 

"I'm not sure I know how this relates to us, Kara."

Kara took a deep breath struggling for a few seconds to come up with any words. "I'm not... I am. I just-" she sighed, looking frustrated with herself.

Lena sighed as well, placing one hand on Kara's who were fidgeting. "You were doing good. Sorry for interrupting. Go on."

Her friend nodded before taking a moment to close her eyes and breathe.

"I've known since I was very young. It wasn't a big deal then because well, I was young. It still made me feel bad but hiding it was easy. With time it got so hard. So much harder than I thought. But then... I thought about mentioning it to my parents. I did. I'm not sure they would have accepted it but- and then-" Kara made an explosion noise.

Lena couldn't help but ache at the thought of Kara's planet and everyone in it being gone. Kara's family and friends. All gone. She hadn't really thought about it. Sure she knew about it but she hadn't considered what it must have been like.

"I was still young when I arrived here. So the Danvers took me in. For the first years, it was hard to adjust to Earth. With new powers and all. I was too busy focusing on controlling them and being normal. Earth normal."

She hadn't really been aware that Kara did not have powers before coming to Earth. That must have been difficult.

"I didn't even feel weird about that until later on."

She had no idea what Kara was going on about but the moment she paused for a few seconds Lena squeezed her hand slightly, encouraging her to continue.

"I- I fought who I am for so long. It was- I was already weird here on Earth and that would only make me- people aren't all that accepting sometimes." There were now tears falling from Kara's eyes and Lena didn't know what to do. Does she pull her in for a hug? She was still mad but this was Kara. A crying Kara.

Without even realizing Lena placed her arm around Kara. Who adjusted herself to sit closer to her. Much like Kara had done when Lena had been grieving Jack.

"I wanted to honor Krypton. I still do. I want to be what Krypton would like me to be. I'd like to think that every person from my planet would be proud of who I am. Or I hope they are someday." She was still tearing up and her voice was wavering. She hated seeing Kara like this. No matter how mad she was, Lena did not like to see Kara in pain. 

"I'm sure they are. You're a hero, Kara. You save people every day."

Her friend was looking at her like she was surprised that Lena had spoken up and said such thing. Was she really that unaware of how Lena would always be there for her? Despite everything that had happened. Despite her own feelings.

"That's the problem. You're wrong." She spoke so softly that the brunette had a hard time hearing the words.

"Kara, don't be ridiculous. You're Supergirl. You save people anytime you go out there and fight the bad guys. And you're Kara. You save people with words. Remember when aliens were being abducted by my- Cadmus? Besides, I can personally attest to you being a hero. You've saved me. As both Supergirl and Kara. You are a hero." She wanted to say, _my hero_. But she didn't.

Kara smiled, Lena could barely see it from this angle but it was there and it warmed her heart.

"Maybe I am a hero but I am failing my planet. And my family."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"You know about Mon-El, right?"

"I think we have more than established that I do." 

Did that come off in a tone of annoyance? She didn't mean to make it sound like that but she couldn't help but feel annoyed any time he was mentioned.

"Right. So... Well he's an alien as you know. And he lost his planet too. He also thought his family was dead and I guess I could relate to his situation. Because Kryptonians and Daxamites are closely related we both got powers when we got here. I guess- he was the _best_ match for me. Logically."

Lena simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Logic could suck it. No. She's about to get rejected so why think like that? 

"I really thought I could make it work with him. I tried so hard. Even when he was infuriating and made me want to punch him."

She had to try really hard not to chuckle at those words. Did Kara know she wasn't alone on that?

"It should have felt _right_. On Krypton, if it weren't for the whole our planets being enemies thing, he would have been a good match. My parents would have approved. He came from a royal family."

Now Kara was the one who sounded slightly annoyed. And Lena was starting to suspect that this whole thing had happened because Kara was grieving her loss and Lena had been nothing but a rebound. The thought made her feel sick.

"I should be heartbroken, right?"

Lena sighed, nodding. "You have every right to be."

"I'm not."

Okay, she was definitely confused now.

"I'm relieved." There were more tears now.

"I see." 

"No. You don't." Kara spoke, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Maybe you should explain."

"I didn't love him."

Right. Kara had said something like that before. When she was infected by the red Kryptonite.

"I should have. I tried. I really did try." Kara took a deep breath. "He kept saying he loved me and I just couldn't bring myself to say it back. And then- you made that device and I should have hesitated, right? I should have- found another way. Or just not used it. My cousin said he wouldn't have been able to do what I did if it was the person he loves." 

"I felt bad for him. I did. Only, I didn't feel that bad. I didn't feel what I should have felt. What I would have if it had been-" she paused. Lena figured she was about to say her sister's name. "I cried so hard, Lena. When we said goodbye I felt like my heart was getting ripped apart. I even gave him my mother's necklace. The last thing I had of her."

It sounded like love to Lena but what did she know about the subject? She had never been loved.

"I'm confused."

"So am I."

That did not help.

"I- I didn't cry because he had to leave. I cried because I realized I can't ever make Krypton proud. No matter how hard I try." She had suddenly stopped crying. Kara seemed to be trying to use her Supergirl confidence to continue. "I gave him the last thing I had of my mother's because maybe if I could do that I could give up something else of Krypton. Maybe I could stop fighting it. _Someday_."

Kara moved away from her, turning slightly to stare right at her and she was confused, to say the least. What was going on? Was this the rejection part of the story?

Lena was not prepared.

"It never felt right." She finally spoke, looking down.

"What didn't feel right?"

"Kissing him." 

For a moment she thought Kara was speaking of kissing her. It made her feel sick because if there was something that felt right was kissing Kara.

"Maybe he just wasn't the right one. You don't have to date an alien, Kara. I'm sure Krypton and your family would still be proud of you if you dated a human man." 

Kara chuckled, leaving her the more confused.

"James and I... We tried. It didn't feel right either."

"Maybe not him then."

"Maybe none of them."

What? Oh. Was Kara not interested in dating? Was this what the whole conversation had been about?

"You don't have to date then. I'm sure you being single wouldn't change the fact you're a hero. Your people would still be proud, I'm sure."

"I know. But it's not-"

Kara shook her head and looked at her. With a confident look that caused Lena to shiver. 

Oh no. Here it comes.

"You know my sister is a lesbian right? And she's dating another woman?"

"You've mentioned it."

"I guess- Well, I wasn't sure and then..." Kara gestured towards her and Lena wasn't sure how to take it. Of course, she had been experimenting. To see if it felt right. Probably because her sister had come out and now she was curious.

If she could hide right now she would have.

"I get it, Kara."

"You... Do?"

Lena nodded.

"Are you also... ?"

She shook her head. "Questioning? No. I'm pansexual. But I prefer women."

Kara started laughing. Hard. Leaving Lena confused as to what she had said that was so funny. 

"I'm sorry." She let out between laughs. "It's just- I thought we were on the same page." 

She must have looked lost because Kara continued a moment later.

"I'm not questioning."

"Oh."

Did she say that out loud?

"I'm gay." Kara was now back to fidgeting. This time while blushing.

OH.

"You're gay?" It came out as a whisper. She was still processing the information.

Kara simply nodded.

"I've never said that before."

She could empathize with her friend but that still didn't explain anything.

"So..."

"Right. So I... Well, Alex explained what red Kryptonite does, right?"

Lena nodded.

"I guess I couldn't keep myself from... You know."

"Why _me_?"

Kara blushed and for once she felt hopeful.

"I don't know."

Nevermind. Hope was something she shouldn't have.

"I see." Lena clenched her jaw. Trying hard to not look devastated. "Do you at least know why you ignored me for weeks?"

Her friend nodded. "I was scared. Of accepting myself. Still am. I can't believe I even said it out loud."

"It's okay to be you, Kara. You don't owe anything to anyone. Everyone who loves you will accept you for who you are." The including me was left unsaid.

"It still feels like I'm going against my planet. My people. It feels wrong. But at the same time, it feels freeing." 

She knew the feeling all too well.

"You're the bravest person I know, Kara."

The blonde smiled widely. "Thanks for being you."

"I don't know how to be anyone else."

Her friend chuckled, nudging her playfully.

"Are you still mad?"

Lena shrugged. "Maybe a little but we'll get over it."

"Together?"

"Together."

"Great. I really have to go. Alex has been yelling at me for five minutes now." She said pointing at her ear. "Alien attack."

"Go save the day, Supergirl."

They got up and the moment she did Lena found herself being hugged by Kara. It took her a second but she hugged her back tightly.

Despite everything, she truly cared about her. There was no denying that.

A moment later they pulled away and Kara flew out the balcony. Both smiling at each other before she did so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara not admitting her feelings for Lena because coming out AND doing that in the same conversation sounds overwhelming? More likely than you think.
> 
> I headcanon Lena as a lesbian but for the sake of staying true to the Canon plot and her love for Jack I made her pansexual in this story. I didn't want to erase the fact she did show she still felt something for him and the sacrifice she made to save Kara.


	16. Let's talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanvers. James. Supercorp.

Kara was determined to fix her relationship with Lena. No matter what it took. Or how long.

Normally she wasn't a patient person but after what she had done and how long Lena had waited and tried for. It would be ridiculous for her to even complain about however long it took to fix this.

Plus, when it came to Lena she would wait however long was necessary.

It had been only a day since they had spoken and Kara already felt better about the situation. Not only because she had taken a big step towards accepting herself but because they were talking. Well, texting. And it didn't feel as awkward as before.

Well, it was still awkward. But not as much as all the small talk from before.

She could still tell Lena was mad and that it would take a lot to get back on her good side. But Kara didn't mind that. Plus, she owed it to her. And for Lena, there was nothing Kara wouldn't do.

And maybe this should scare her. Maybe it should terrify her that she would do anything for Lena Luthor. But it didn't. It felt right. Just like kissing her had felt right.

Not completely. There had been something weird about it. Something she knew came from not having been honest to Lena then. From not being in control. But at the same time, she could tell it was different from any other kiss she had shared with other people before.

But she wouldn't do anything about that. No. First, she needed to fix this mess. She shouldn't add to their already messy relationship. And that's exactly what an admission of feelings would do.

She didn't need to put that on Lena. It could ruin them even more.

If she had to choose, she would keep Lena close as a friend rather than gamble their relationship on a shot at something else.

Kara was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear her sister speak to her. In fact, she only knew she had because she was now starting at her with her hands on her hips. A typical serious Alex pose.

"What?"

"I asked what's the plan for dealing with Lillian?"

She shrugged, if she was honest, that hadn't been on her mind at all.

"Aren't you the one that is in charge of making plans?"

"If anything that's J'onn."

"Great. Let's ask him then."

"Kara. I'm asking you because of Lena."

"Oh."

She would be so heartbroken. Kara knew her friend put up that cold act. Like nothing can affect her but she had seen just how much of a softy she was. And despite all the bad Lillian had done, some part of Lena still cared for her.

"Can we do anything? She has been quiet since the whole alien invasion thing."

"That's the problem. I'm afraid she might be planning something. Cadmus has been far too quiet for my liking."

"Maybe she gave up."

Alex gave her a side-eyed gaze. Clearly disagreeing. 

"Do I need to remind you that she left you for dead in a spaceship?"

"She also helped Lena and Winn make that device."

"I see you're already practicing defending the mother in law."

"Shut up."

She hit her sister lightly on the arm. Knowing to keep her strength at a minimum not to hurt her.

"How did it go with Lena? All I know is that it went and I quote _'better than expected'_."

Kara shrugged. "She's still mad. But I expected that so I can't say I'm surprised. I- there's something I need to tell you. Maybe we can go to the bar after work?"

"Can Maggie come? We also have something to tell you."

Her eyebrow was now raised as she stared at her sister. 

"Are you... Moving in together?"

"Can't you just wait for tonight?"

"Fine. Fine. I can be patient. I guess..."

"I mean it. Unless you want me countering your questions with Lena Luthor ones."

"Alright. I'll be on my best behavior."

 

\- - - - - - 

 

"Hey! Sorry, I'm late. There was a robbery on my way here."

"It's fine, Kara."

She sat down on the other side of the booth. Opposite the couple. 

"So..." Her sister spoke, awkwardly.

Kara raised an eyebrow before remembering why they were even there in the first place. 

Oh, she was going to need some liquid courage for this.

Gesturing to the waitress she ordered one of their alien drinks. It was necessary for the occasion.

The two women eyed her with curiosity and maybe some surprise, but after a moment their attention was averted to each other. Maggie clearly signaling for Alex to speak.

Her sister cleared her throat, she was looking as nervous as when she came out to her.

"It's okay, Alex. Just tell me."

"I guess what I want to say is that... The world could have ended or we could have died and then you gave me that advice just after Mon-El and- I did it."

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, just as her drink arrived. Taking a moment to thank the waitress before taking a sip.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." 

Maggie smiled fondly at her sister before reaching to hold her hand. Like couples often do. It was adorable.

"What Alex is trying to say is that your advice helped her take an important step in her life." A moment passed before the cop looked at Alex. "In _our_ life."

"So you are moving in together." She stated excitingly. That was great news. They were her favorite couple. Maggie made her sister so happy and she had never seen Alex as relaxed and carefree as when she was with her.

"Actually, we are engaged." Alex blurted out before nearly chugging the beer in front of her.

Wow. That she did not expect.

"That's amazing, Alex." 

Kara pointed at Maggie who was smiling at her and smiled brightly back at her. "You're going to be officially part of the family." She stated with her overly excited tone. "Have you told Eliza? She's going to be so happy." 

She was now clapping. Not like she could help it. Alex was engaged and she was clearly happy. It was amazing.

"I told mom earlier today. Made her promise she would keep it a secret until I could tell you myself."

"Did she freak out?"

Maggie nodded before chuckling while Alex sighed but while smiling.

"She already started giving me ideas for the wedding."

"You should have seen your sister's face." Maggie teased, nudging Alex lightly.

"I'm so happy for you guys."

"Kara." Her sister sounded more serious now but she was still smiling so Kara wasn't all that worried about what she was about to say. "Would you like to be my bridesmaid?" 

"Seriously?" She nearly squealed.

Alex only nodded before Kara punched the air excitingly. "I'm going to be the _best_ bridesmaid ever. You'll see."

They continued to speak about the subject for the next half an hour. The couple telling about everything Eliza had suggested and finally admitting they had been engaged for a while now. To which Kara pouted. She didn't judge her sister for keeping it a secret though. She was simply happy for them. They really were perfect for each other. Kara could only wish that one day she had something like that of her own.

"What did you want to tell me, Kara?"

Gladly she was now tipsy. Hopefully, this liquid courage thing worked.

Both her sister and Maggie were now looking at her with curious expressions and that only made her more nervous so Kara avoided looking at them. Choosing to focus on the glass on the table instead.

"I told Lena and you're my sister. I think I should have probably told you first but... I'm telling you now because I think- no. I _know_ I'm ready. And-"

"Kara. Relax." Her sister was looking at her with that caring expression she made and Kara forgot how afraid she was.

"I'm gay."

Her sister's eyes widened but then she could see her face lightening up. Glancing at Maggie she noticed her dimpled smirk as if this wasn't news to her.

"So you are like me." Her sister finally said, smiling.

Kara couldn't help but blush at the mention of what she had said that night they had spoken. She gave her a shy nod. "I- yes. Sorry for what I said when we spoke about- that. _This_."

"Well, good for you, Kara."

She smiled widely at Maggie, happy that the both of them were reacting so well. Not that she expected anything else but she did tend to overthink.

"Does this have something to do with- _you know_?"

Okay, so back to being nervous. 

She mumbled through words, not really being able to actually form anything. Her hand touching her glasses, as she often did when she was feeling awkward.

"I- I've always known, actually."

Her sister was confused, she could tell because she was furrowing her brows.

"It wasn't a thing in Krypton." She explained with a sad sigh. "I mean- it was a thing I'm sure. But not an acceptable thing. It was... wrong?"

"Oh, Kara. Is that why you were so conflicted about it?"

Her sister was holding her hand gently and she felt so comfortable. So accepted. She didn't even mind all that much that they were speaking of this.

"Yes. I just- I thought if I was like this it would be like going against Krypton. And my parents."

She shook her head, trying to keep herself from imagining what her people would think of her if they could see her now.

"Kara, you're amazing. They'd be dumb not to have accepted you because of this."

The blonde chuckled, "Lena said the same thing."

Maggie looked at Alex and smiled, apparently communicating without really using their words.

"How are you doing, Kara?"

This time it was Maggie asking her, with her kind smile that could make anyone open up.

"I'm good. I feel- _free_. I'm also sad because it feels like I-" She sighed, taking another sip of her drink. Hoping it would help. "I feel like I let part of my planet die again. I know it's silly but..."

"It's not silly."

"No. It's definitely not silly." 

They both spoke at the same time, causing Kara to give them a small smile.

"It's okay to be afraid." Her sister told her. "You're so brave for doing this."

"We're here for you, kid."

Alex nodded at what Maggie told her.

"Thank you." She whispered, smiling back at the couple.

 

\- - - - - -

 

"Hello, Kara."

"Hey. Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch?"

"I don't know. I have a lot of work and-"

"Oh." She sighed, disappointed at the outcome of her call. "I- Could go over and bring some food? Or- not."

There was silence on the other side for some seconds but Kara could hear Lena's breathing. Thanks to her super hearing. 

"Sure, Kara. We can do that."

"Great. Is one hour from now okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"I'll see you then."

Okay, so maybe Kara sounded a lot more excited than Lena did. She sounded hesitant and distant. But she couldn't blame her. Things were still weird between them and she knew it would take a lot of work to fix them.

This time she wouldn't sit by and wait. No. This time she would be the one going out of her way to fix things. Just like Lena had.

"Good news?"

She looked up to see James staring at her. An amused smile on his face.

" _Huh_?"

"You're smiling like you just got good news."

"Oh, that." She let out, blushing slightly before fidgeting. "I- Lena and I have been sorta- in a bad place. I got her to agree to have lunch."

"I see. What happened between you two anyway? You never explained why I had to lie to her."

Kara frowned at the reminder before moving her hand to touch her glasses. "I- I ruined things when I saw her while I was under the influence of red Kryptonite." Those last words came out as a whisper, trying to be sneaky about it.

"She didn't seem mad at you when she came here."

"Well- it's complicated."

"Alright. I'm glad you two are getting closer again."

"Thanks. I know you're not her biggest fan."

" _Ah_. She grew on me after helping us with the Daxamites."

Her smile was wide now. She didn't even care to hide how happy she was that James seemed to like Lena now. She hoped all her friends liked her. Maybe she could one day invite her to game night. Or to the bar.

Well, she had already kind of done the second one. 

Luckily Lena seemed to have ignored that mess.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Kara got her friend's favorite. That weird vegan food she had her try once. Something she wished hadn't happened. It tasted so bad but Kara had put on a smile and pretended she liked it until an amused Lena had laughed and pointed out she did not need to pretend.

Still, she got that because it was her favorite and Kara wanted to make her smile.

For herself, she got a crazy amount of potstickers. Something that surprised no one. 

Getting to the top floor of L-Corp, she smiled at Jess who simply nodded at her before speaking. "You can go in."

She still disliked her. Probably for hurting her boss. Kara knew Jess cared about Lena and her well being. Maybe she should also invest in fixing things with her. She made a mental note of getting her coffee next time.

The blonde walked into the office, looking at Lena who was still sitting at the desk.

"Kara." There was a smile on Lena's face but it wasn't as genuine as it was before.

"Hey. I brought your favorite." She announced, raising the takeout bag meant for her slightly.

"I thought you claimed that you would _never step foot in that place ever again_." 

Kara chuckled at the reminder, shrugging slightly as she placed the takeout on the table near the couch. "I think I owed you. Even if it meant such sacrifice."

Lena scruffed her nose, smiling before standing up. Moving to join Kara who had now sat down on the couch. "Well, I do appreciate it."

Was she blushing? She felt warm. Well, warmer than usual. Because she was always warm since her temperature was slightly higher than normal humans'.

"Tell me about your day."

She just wanted to hear her friend speak. And honestly, she didn't really know what else to speak about.

"I don't think you would like to hear about the meeting I had or the new device we are working on."

Kara chuckled, she had been pretending she didn't understand much about science but the truth was, she probably knew more than any human. Their science was still uninvolved compared to Krypton's. To add to that, Kara was about to become the youngest member of the science guild back home. Of course she was interested.

"Actually... I am kind of a- genius in this planet, I guess. I was great at science back on Krypton. I am interested in your inventions."

She could see the surprise on Lena's face as she stared at her.

"Do you mean to tell me whenever I spoke about science you _did_ know what I was talking about?"

"Yes? I mean... For the most part." Kara answered between food bites. "Earth's knowledge is very rudimentary on some things. And you have weird names for all this knowledge."

It took her friend a minute to speak, instead focusing on her food. "So you're also a _genius_? And a science one?"

"I guess?" Kara shrugged. "I- We had this thing back on Krypton called the science guild. I was about to become the youngest member of it. But I'm not that great with Earth’s physics because some things don't really line up well with what I was taught on Krypton."

Lena seemed to be processing her words while she continued to eat the meal.

"I'm a little offended you pretended not to know what I was speaking off anytime I would talk about the work we do here."

Kara made an innocent face, feeling sorry for tricking her friend. "Sometimes I truly didn't know. And the others times I just wanted to hear you talk about it."

"And why is that?"

"When you talk about your work you get these sparkles in your eyes and you sound so excited. You love it and it's amazing to see you be so passionate about it."

The brunette smiled at her words. "Hopefully, you can join in next time. I'd love to have someone to bounce off ideas with. Maybe we can even learn from each other."

She seemed to have caught on how she had basically made future plans with Kara because she could tell that her friend was now deep in thought and had a conflicted expression.

"If you'd like that. I would love to."

Kara adjusted her glasses awkwardly, hoping her friend wouldn't change her mind.

They spent the rest of their time together eating and speaking about what had been going on in their life. Including all sorts of ideas that Lena had for products. Kara couldn't keep herself from thinking that maybe her friend would have also been in the science guild if she had been born in Krypton. And if her planet still existed. They both would have been there and Kara couldn't help but wonder if her parents would have found Lena as intelligent and wonderful as she did. If they would admire her. If Krypton would be marveled by the amazing person that was Lena Luthor. 

 _Rao_ , she really liked her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next will probably be a Lena POV chapter unless I change my mind.
> 
> Am I hinting at something with the mention of Lillian? Is there an actual plot forming? Who knows?


	17. I was almost proud of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lillian pays a visit to Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is slightly different. It's a chapter setting a plot involving Lillian. I got inspiration from Smallville so if you have seen it, you might be aware of what is going on. Or not. If you are interested in knowing the inspiration for this watch s4 e6 of Smallville and you will understand.
> 
> I first wrote this as Kara/Lillian but decided that it would be better as Lena/Lillian.

It was late and she was tired but there were still a few reports left to do. Since the next day was filled with meetings, important ones regarding some of her new projects, she had to make sure she could focus on those and not paperwork. Which meant staying at her office past midnight.

Kara had shown up earlier in the evening, bringing food with her as she had done every day since they had a heart to heart that resulted in the blonde coming out. Much to Lena's surprise. Her friend did not come to her office carrying food every meal but she did come every day. Which made her smile, even thinking about it. Something she scolded herself for because she was still mad and she wasn't going to forgive Kara so easily but she just couldn't help but be weak whenever Kara smiled at her and did something caring.

Could she be blamed for her weakness?

It was everything she had ever wanted but never expected to have. Someone caring for her, in whatever way. Enough to bring her food and to actually make sure she ate, someone who would ask her about her day and how her meetings had gone (even if that meant hearing her rant about something boring to do with work), someone who noticed when she was tired and overworked and insisted she got some rest. She could go on but in fewer words, someone like Kara. 

That's all she ever wanted. Someone like Kara Zor-El, or Danvers (She wasn't sure which she preferred). Her best friend. 

Lena sighed, finishing the last of her reports when she received a text.

 **Kara:** I just flew by and saw your office light on. Go home and SLEEP. Humans do need to rest, Lena.

 **Lena:**  You are worse than the NSA.

 **Kara:** Yes, I am. Next time I'll fly you home and away from that paperwork

 **Lena:** You wouldn't.

 **Kara:** Try me. I do have super powers.

She chuckled. Lena was definitely still mad at Kara but she could still appreciate her friend.

 **Lena:** For your information, I just finished and I'm going home. 

 **Kara:** Good. Lunch tomorrow?

 **Lena:** Kale?

 **Kara:** Over my dead body.

 **Lena:** You're unbelievable. Humans can't eat only junk food, Kara.

 **Kara:** Then I'll get you the green food of death and junk food for myself.

 **Lena:** So dramatic. I'll get you to eat healthy one day.

 **Kara:** I already did

 **Lena:**  Once does not count.

 **Kara:** It was thrice and I hated every second of it.

She rolled her eyes, chuckling at the memory of an overly dramatic Kara faking sick over eating the food she eats. After the first time, it became trickier to get her to try healthy food. Something she only managed to do on two other occasions.

 **Lena:** You wouldn't hate it if you could gain weight.

 **Kara:** Lucky me then. Now go home and get sleep, Lena.

 **Lena:** Fine. Goodnight, Kara.

 **Kara:** Goodnight, Lena.

The next text had a few heart emojis, something that wasn't unusual for Kara to send her. And certainly, something that Kara didn't realize made her heart race and face blush.

As she was gathering her things the door to her office opened. Jess had gone home earlier, which meant it wasn't her and anyone who wanted could simply walk inside, as long as they got past the security downstairs.

A second later Lena looked up, surprised by the sight of her mother.

"What are you doing here, mother?"

"Can't a mother visit her daughter?"

"At midnight and here? Not without obvious second intentions."

Lillian smirked, that _you caught me but I don't care_  type of smile she did. She hated that smirk.

"You are right. I came to speak to you."

"If you don't mind, I have important meetings tomorrow. Can we do this mother-daughter thing some other time?"

"I do mind." She crossed her arms and Lena sighed. Clearly, she wasn't going anywhere and calling security wasn't an option. That would only ensure a scandal and the last thing she needed was gossip and front page news with headlines about her mother being dragged out by her security.

"Can we hurry up and get to the part where you tell me what you want from me?"

"My dear, do you ever get tired of being paranoid?"

"I don't think either of us can afford to stop it, can we?"

She now had her arms crossed as well, having gotten up and leaning the back of her against her desk.

"Yet you seem to be befriending the enemy."

Lena tried to keep her poker face. The one that she used in meetings or when she had betrayed her mother.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, mother."

"You're far too smart to be faking ignorance, Lena."

She scoffed, staring at her mother to make sure Lillian knew that she could not intimidate her.

"In that case, enlighten me on what we are talking about."

"We both know who Kara Danvers truly is, Lena. Let's not underestimate each other." 

Her eyes widened for a split second before she could put on the unaffected facade.

"A reporter? I thought befriending people who could positively influence the public on their opinion of the Luthors would be a move you could get behind."

"Is that what you have been doing, my dear?" Lillian smiled and it was the type of smile that came before something bad. "I don't think many would use your methods to befriend people. I do hope you have _decontaminated_ that desk of yours."

Okay, that she did not expect.

Lena cringed at the thought of Lillian knowing what had happened between her and Kara on that desk. Both because it was her mother and she did not want to share that sort of information with her and because it was surprising she knew. Considering there had been no way for her to get such information.

"Don't act so surprised. I do still have access to the security feed. Including your office cameras. In any case, I am not here to speak of your _sexual indiscretions_. As shameful and disgusting as they might be. Which brings me to the real reason why I came here."

Lena stood in silence. Not knowing what to expect next.

"I do believe Ms. Danvers has told you her little secret." The woman sighed before continuing. "I thought you'd be smart enough to distance yourself from such... _thing_. Even more so after all the lying." 

"I thought you could be a true Luthor, Lena. The Luthor your brother hoped to be. The one to rid the world of those of her kind. You certainly seem to have the brains for it. Your work with those aliens impressed me, my dear. Yet, somehow, you still managed to disappoint. All that knowledge and talent and you refuse to stand on the right side of history. Choosing instead to stand by those things that murder our people. Real people. Something they can only wish to be."

Lena still couldn't bring herself to speak. She was still processing everything that her mother was saying.

"I was almost proud of you. _Almost_. Unfortunately, it seems that _thing_ brainwashed you. It's a pity really."

Two men entered the room and Lena looked at them before looking back at her mother.

"But I do have to admit, your lack of loyalty to your own is going to be quite useful in our fight."

She wasn't sure of what was going on but her mother was walking towards her and she tried to reach for her phone. Normally she would go for the taser but her bag was too far away. Maybe she could be fast enough to call Kara. 

But she wasn't.

"History will remember you, Lena. As the one who saved the world from unworthy beings."

Her mother grabbed her arm that was reaching for the phone and it all happened too fast.

There was some sort of energy coming out of them. The air around was different. Caused by the object that her mother was holding against her, she guessed. 

Whatever that was, it could not be anything good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to just have a relationship fic. I wanted to add something more to the story but Lillian fits nicely into both the storyline and the relationship plot.
> 
> Sorry for this chapter being so short. I thought the cliffhanger would be nice.
> 
> Also, any prompts you would like for this fic that would fit the story would be welcome. Sometimes it's hard to come up with ways for characters to interact.


	18. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena wakes up in a cell, near another prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Supercorp but I hope it gives you feels.

She felt dizzy for a second after watching the air around them both. It was strange and she felt like she was levitating. Maybe she was. Honestly, she couldn't stop staring at the light around them so she wasn't really sure. 

And then it happened.

One second she is staring at the air and the next she is in another position, where her mother had been. Staring back at herself.

Was this an out of body experience?

Had she _died_?

But that body that was hers doesn't look dead. In fact, it's moving. Blinking and breathing just as if she was still in there. Still in control.

Yet she knew that that was not the case because the movements did not match her own. Well, her brains'.

Wait a second. Where was her mother?

 _No_.

Lena looked down at herself, hoping that somehow she was wrong.

But she was a genius for a reason. And damn sometimes she did hate to be right.

It seems whatever they did had caused them to swap their bodies.

Honestly, Lena was still in shock at what had happened and was only now starting to process it when the men now behind her stepped in. Holding her with ease they restrained her, leaving Lena unable to fight back. Except for the kicking that didn't seem to affect them all too much, they only let out the occasional grunt at the impact but remained unphased by her actions.

In front of her was now her mother. Who looked like her. Smirking victoriously.

Lena wasn't sure what her plan was or why she needed her body. Her mind wasn't even beginning to theorize yet. Right now it was more focused on the object on her own hand. It was shaped like a triangle and had some sort of symbol. Like the ones that were used by some ancient civilizations. She released it a moment later, letting it fall onto the floor. She didn't want anything to do with it.

"What did you do?" She asked loudly, cringing at the sound of her voice that now resembled her mothers. Yet somehow still had her own touch. 

"I gave you an opportunity to join me and you chose to _fraternize_ with the enemy. I had to take matters into my own hands. I hope you understand."

Lillian bent down, reaching for the object she had dropped and placed it in a container that one of the men gave her. 

It was still strange to look at her own body move from someone else's point of view.

"Now, if you don't mind. I do have quite a lot work to do. My co-workers will help you out."

"No." She yelled, feeling herself get dragged out of her office. "What are you doing? You can't do this."

"I'm afraid it is already done."

 

\- - - - - -

 

She woke up with a headache. It took her a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light. Blinking slowly she started seeing more clearly, her eyes focusing on her surroundings.

It was some kind of cell. Clearly. She didn't really know where or why she was being kept there. Her mother seemed to have what she wanted. Although, she could now see how her running around could ruin her plans. Surely Kara would be able to tell that she was really Lena and that her mother wasn't her. Right? She would hope so. For both their sake.

Her head hurt and she remembered one of the men hit her as a way to knock her out. Had they never heard of less violent methods to get someone unconscious? 

She slowly sat up, looking around to find another person a couple of cells away from her. A man, laying on the floor. Likely sleeping as it was probably still nighttime. Although, there were no windows and the lights were on. Probably as a way to torture them. She knew Lillian would do such thing just to mess with her prisoners.

"Hey." She called out, shaking at the surprise of her current voice. Lena wasn't sure that she would ever get used to that.

"You. Over there. Hey." She said raising her voice slightly.

She didn't want to have the guards because of course there would be some. Probably outside the doors to the cell room.

The man slowly sat up, bringing his hands to his face and sighing. He seemed tired, probably from dealing with those damn bright lights above them.

His eyes widened in shock when he looked at her and it took Lena a moment to realize why that was. Of course, she looked like Lillian now. He had probably seen her before.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Lena mumbled, suddenly not knowing what exactly to say. Her explanation would probably sound like a lie. But it wasn't as if there was a logical excuse for this.

"I'm not her."

The man seemed confused.

"Lillian had an object and she used it to swap bodies with me. It sounds crazy, I know that but please believed me. I think she is planning something."

There were a few moments of silence and the man seemed to be thinking over what she had said. Probably realizing how ridiculous it sounded. With each second that passed, she lost more hope that he would believe her.

"Then who are you?"

"Lena. I- Lena Luthor." She wasn't even sure if she had said that loud enough for him to hear.

"Her daughter? Of course, she would do such thing to her own." The man scoffed.

"Who are you? And why does it sound like you know her?"

He seemed to consider her questions. Lena figured he was deciding if he should answer them.

"Jeremiah Danvers." 

Lena didn't let him continue. Her eyes widened at the recognition of his surname and her mouth was parted. "Danvers? You- I- Danvers. Yes."

The man looked at her with another confused look. It seems she kept causing that.

"Is- Kara and Alex. Are they-?"

"You know my daughters?"

Lena nodded, a smile growing on her face. Her suspicion was confirmed, they were related.

"We're best friends. Kara and I." It felt like a lie, even if it wasn't. Not really. Sure, they weren't on the best of terms but she still thought of Kara as her best friend. Of course, she was also her only friend. Now that she knew her and Supergirl were the same person.

The man smiled back at her as well.

" _Wait_ \- Why? You're here." Kara had briefly mentioned her adoptive father being gone. She thought that meant he was dead but maybe it was one more secret Kara had been keeping to herself.

"Your mother. She- We worked together. I _had_ to."

Now she was the one confused.

"But you're in a cell."

"They were going to kill aliens. I convinced your mother to forcefully deport them. It was a better alternative in a situation with not many options available. My daughters- They stopped it but before that I betrayed Lillian."

"And she locked you up." Lena continued. 

He nodded.

"How long?"

"Working with her or in here?"

"Both, I guess."

"More than a decade. I've been in cells for months now. At least as far as I can tell."

"Cells?"

"They move me around constantly. I never stay in the same place for too long."

"How have they not found you?"

"Lillian is as evil as she is smart."

Lena chuckled, leaning her back against the bars. "That she is."

"So, you really know them?"

She turned her face to look at him again. Nodding with a small smile.

"What are they like? I've- I saw them briefly but-"

Taking a deep breath Lena prepared herself to speak. The least she could do was tell him about his daughters.

"I don't know Alex too well. I know she's strong. Physically and mentally. She's headstrong. Definitely not the type you mess with, not unless you want trouble. She saves lives and she's a badass, according to Kara. She's also very protective of her sister."

The man was smiling widely now, listening to every word she said as if she was telling the most interesting story ever. She felt envious for a second. Wishing someone would love her so much that they would have the same reaction in such situation. Yet the reality was her own mother had put her there, not even hesitating to do so.

"What about Kara? She was so young when I- left. I'm afraid I don't know too much. We only spent little time together before I came back. I know about some things but I'm afraid it's not much."

"What do you mean time together?"

"Well, I went back to my life but on a mission for Lillian. I- Saw my family. Got to have some good moments with them but- It didn't last long. I feel like I've missed out."

Lena nodded, she didn't know this. Kara hadn't told her. She imagines it must be difficult to speak about it. 

"Are they happy?"

She nodded. "I think- _Hope_ so."

Jeremiah smiled at her.

"Kara. She's- the brightest person I've ever met." She started, a smile growing with each word. "She interviewed me a few times and we grew closer. Kara, she never cared about my name. She saw me for who I am, not for my family. I don't know a better person. Actually, I find it hard to believe there could be someone better than her."

He was looking at her with a smile as if he could see her affection for his daughter. Lena tried to contain it.

"Sounds like her. Always believing in good."

Lena nodded.

"Your family, they're so close. I don't really see them interact much but Kara is always mentioning things. Speaking of her sister nights with Alex. They support and love each other like nobody else. I'm afraid I have yet to meet your- wife?" It sounded more like a question as she did not want to assume. "From what Kara tells me she's wonderful. You have an amazing family."

He nodded at what she said. "I hope I can go back to them."

"I hope you do too." Lena would do anything in her power to make it happen.

There was a moment of silence between them. Neither knowing what to say. Their situation was bad and although both cared about that family, it only reminded them of the situation they were facing. What they could lose.

"I'm worried." She said softly, a worried frown taking over.

"They won't hurt you. They'll probably move you around too."

"It's not that. It's my mother. She knows about Supergirl. She knows and she's going to go after Kara."

"You know?"

Lena nodded. "She told me."

Jeremiah sat in silence for a second. "I've tried escaping before. Couldn't do it alone."

"Maybe I can help."

He seemed to be thinking about it. Deep in thought before looking over at her again.

"Teamwork might be our only shot."

Lena nodded. She sighed a moment later.

Hopefully, they could get out of here and Kara would be okay. Hopefully, they wouldn't be too late.

All she could do for now was hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I tag happy ending I do mean happy ending so I had to include Jeremiah.
> 
> I'm adding to the angst but also Lena bounding with Kara's father? You know this is something you never knew you wanted but now love.


	19. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lillian as Lena. Kara is overthinking or maybe sensing something is off. Alien bar with superfriends.

It took longer than expected for her to get their food and be on her way to L-Corp. Snapper had given her a last minute assignment. Nothing particularly demanding but she had to have a conversation about it with him so he could explain what he wanted her to write. Which had caused her to leave after the time she had planned. So when she got to Lena's favorite healthy food place, there was a line. Apparently, pretentious business people had a thing for healthy food as well. Kara chuckled, reminding herself to tease her friend about it. After getting the food she finally made her way to the Chinese place she loved, getting her order.

Walking to the last floor she smiled at Jess who immediately noticed her presence. "Hey, Jess."

"Good afternoon, Ms. Danvers." She responded with a slight smile. Kara seemed to be doing a good job at winning her over again.

"Is Lena free?"

"Yes. Ms. Luthor got me to cancel all her meetings and set up new ones but you have close to an hour free." That was strange and Jess seemed to think so too.

She nodded, smiling thankfully at the secretary who took this as a cue to leave and start her lunch hour as well.

"Thank you, Jess."

She opened the door to the office, struggling to carry the bags and do so without dropping anything. Why was she always so clumsy as Kara Danvers?

Once she entered Kara smiled at her friend, who was looking through papers on her desk. In fact, the whole desk was full of papers. Including blueprints. Maybe it was one of those projects she had been so excited to work on.

"You really take this whole being a workaholic thing to a new level." She teased with a smile, placing the food on the coffee table.

Lena looked surprised to see her, probably expecting the person who walked in to be Jess and not here.

"Did you forget we were having lunch?"

After a moment, Lena composed herself. She looked so cold and formal. Much like she did whenever she was around the businessmen she had to deal with.

"No. Of course not. I did not notice the time, it's all."

Kara shrugged, maybe she was just tense from working too hard. Or maybe things were still weird from before. Well, things had been weird because of that this whole time anyways. She just hadn't had such closed off body language. Not since they had started spending more time together.

"Come on. Let's eat. I brought your favorite. _Kale_." She made a face, teasing the girl. Who simply smiled but it wasn't even the usual smile she gave her. No, that was a fake smile. Not one of Lena's. The teasing seemed to go over her head. Clearly, she was off today.

Walking to her, the brunette seemed different. She moved differently.

Not that Kara had spent an unusual and maybe exaggerated amount of time looking at her body and the way she moved. _No_. But she knew it too well. It being her way of- moving. Yeah. Not her body. Definitely not that.

She took a deep breath as her friend sat beside her, keeping her distance.

Okay, things were definitely still awkward.

"Tell me, Kara, what are we?"

Needless to say, Kara nearly choked on her food. Taking a sip of her drink before composing herself.

"I- Friends." She touched her glasses nervously, blushing and bowing her head down. "Best friends?" It came out as a more of a question than a statement. After everything, she was unsure of where they stood. Well, she still considered Lena her best friend but she didn't know if she felt the same way.

"I see." Lena whispered, eating some of the food. 

Was Lena hoping for another answer?

Kara, stop. You're overthinking and clearly being unrealistically hopeful.

"So." She spoke after some time of silence between them. "What are you working on?"

"Something that will change the world." She stared at her intensely and Kara held her breath. For some reason, she seemed so much more intense today. Nothing like the Lena she knew.

It must really be an off day. Or things between them are even worse than she thought.

"Let me guess... It's confidential and you will tell me when you can?"

Lena nodded once. 

"Whatever you do, I'm sure it will be amazing."

Her friend smiled but it was still different. She couldn't tell why but it didn't feel familiar. Things didn't feel normal. There was something off about this whole exchange.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to continue working."

"Of course." She spoke, getting up from the couch. She almost reached over to hug the brunette but stopped herself. The situation was already too awkward.

With a smile she excused herself. Walking out of the office and standing on the other side of the door for a few seconds, going over this situation.

Something was wrong but she didn't know what it was.

Maybe she had finally noticed how bad she screwed up.

Kara sighed. She needed to fix this.

 

\- - - - - -

 

She got to the DEO after work, not having much to do since the piece Snapper gave her was short and she had finished it already. Well, she would probably have to change some things after he read it over, but it was done for now.

"I'm bored." She said, grunting as she moved around in a chair.

Alex rolled her eyes. "You should be happy nothing bad is happening."

"But that means I have nothing to do."

"I'm with Kara on this." Winn said, regretting it as soon as Alex side eyed him with one of those threatening expressions of hers.

"I'll just focus on updating our software."

"See? Something to do." Her sister spoke, smiling.

Kara had her head resting on her hands, now leaning on the center table of the room.

"Do you think she's going to hate me forever?"

Alex was silent, probably surprised by the question. "Who? Lena?"

She nodded. Her face serious as the subject was anything but amusing.

"I don't think she could hate you, Kara."

"I think she does. At least a little."

"Why?"

"Things are weird."

Alex placed a hand on her shoulder, smiling at her with one of her comforting smiles that made her feel better.

"Sometimes it takes time for things to go back to normal."

Kara nodded. Going over all her ideas for fixing their relationship.

"I should invite her to come with us tonight."

Her sister didn't look like she was a fan of spending time with Lena Luthor. Judging by her frown.

"Come on, Alex. She's fun and she's a good person. Nothing like her family. I promise."

"I believe you but-" She sighed. "It's an alien bar, Kara." She said the last part in a whisper. 

"She'll be fine. They'll love her. It's impossible not to. She's very lovable, Alex." She claimed excitingly until she realized what she had said. "I love all my friends and- aliens and- they- will also love her because we are all nice and there is no reason not to love any of us?" Worst saving ever, Kara.

Her sister rolled her eyes at her. "Fine. But I'm not intervening in any fights."

"It's okay. Supergirl will." She said, flexing with a dorky expression.

"Why is she flexing?" Winn asked, moving his chair to be near them.

"Lena is coming with us to the bar and everyone better be on their best behavior. Well, if she does. I haven't actually asked but still." Kara said, pointing at him.

"Okay..." Winn said, raising his hands defensively. "I happen to be a fan of her. She's so smart. Probably the smartest person I know and I do know a lot of smart people. Her looks just happen to be like a secret level. You buy the game for the content but congrats you get something you didn't even ask for."

The Danvers sisters looked at him with curious expressions. He sounded- No way. Did he have a crush on Lena?

"Winn." She said grunting. "Stop it. You're not allowed to _crush_ on my friends."

"Wha- No. I-" He tried to defend himself, resorting to raising his hands up again and moving away. "I'm just going to go again."

 

\- - - - - -

 

 **Kara:** Do you want to go out with my friends and I tonight? It'll be fun.

She had to wait five minutes for a reply. Those were some of the longest minutes of her life. It wasn't even as if that was a big question but it felt like a big step. She would officially introduce her to her friends and to her favorite bar. An alien bar. Which made it even a bigger deal.

 **Lena:** Ok. What time?

 **Kara:** 10\. I'll send you the address. It will be so much fun!

There was no reply. Kara sighed. Things seemed even worse than they had been this past week.

"So?"

"She's coming."

"Who is doing what?" A new voice asked. 

Kara looked behind her to find Maggie, smiling as she waited for an answer.

"Kara invited Lena to join us tonight."

"Go Kara." She said still smiling, nudging her slightly.

Kara was confused but she smiled back.

"No." Alex pointed at the cop. "Stop that."

"I'm not doing anything. It just sounds like I might win after all."

Now she was definitely confused.

"Win what?"

The couple stared at each other before turning their heads to her again.

"At pool." Her sister answered.

It didn't make sense but Kara decided not to continue questioning it.

 

\- - - - - - 

 

They arrived at the bar as a group. James driving all of them. Something he claimed to have regretted once a fight broke out on who called shotgun first. Winn and Kara both wanting to be away from Alex and Maggie who were already inside the car and being the typical couple.

This time it was James, Winn, Alex, Maggie and herself. Since J'onn and M'gann decided to spend some time alone. So she was excited for Lena to show up, wanting to team up with her in a game of pool. 

They sat down at their usual table and Kara kept checking her phone. Ten minutes had passed and Lena wasn't usually late. In fact, her super power might as well be being exactly on time. It was freaky.

She ordered herself a soda, not wanting to make a fool of herself while drunk so deciding to be the sober one.

Well, her and James who insisted he would drive his own car because he did not trust her.

Which Kara was offended by. But James claimed that one of her flaws was her driving and that he would rather walk home than getting inside a car with her behind the wheel.

She scoffed and noticed how her friends had redirected their attention towards the entrance. Her head snapping in that direction.

Lena had just walked inside.

Her friend quickly spotted them, probably due to the fact she was waving at her excitingly. 

"Hey. I'm glad you came." She said, patting the chair beside her, indicating for her to sit down.

"Everyone, this is Lena." Kara pointed at her friend who had now sat down and was looking around the table.

"Lena this is James, Winn, Maggie, and Alex. I believe you know them all. Kind of. Well, hopefully, you will get to actually know them better tonight." That was definitely rambling. She was so nervous. Kara just wanted everything to go well.

"Pleasure." Her friend said, smiling but hesitantly. 

"Would you like a drink?"

"Yes, please."

She called out the waitress and Lena ordered some pretentious alcoholic beverage, causing the waitress to give her a strange look.

The next hour was spent talking about all sorts of topics and Kara tried to include Lena in every conversation but somehow she barely contributed. In fact, she barely even smiled or did anything but stare and listen to them. Even when Winn tried to talk science with her, which had annoyed Kara because he couldn't just have a crush on Lena. No. Lena was hers. Well, not hers. But her friend. And that would be awkward.

There was an awkwardness to it all and Kara was quickly regretting her decision.

"Kara, this was lovely but I'm afraid I have to go."

"Already?" She asked, disappointment clear in her voice.

"Unfortunately."

Kara frowned.

"You can walk me to my car."

Her frown quickly turned into more of a smile. Although she was still sad to see her friend go earlier than expected.

Maggie wiggled her eyebrows, receiving a nudge from Alex which caused both of them to laugh.

Kara and Lena walked out of the bar in silence. Neither of them so much as looking anywhere besides the path in their way.

Apparently, Lena had parked far from the entrance and in a dark alley. No wonder she had suggested she should come along with her.

"I did not want to ask in front of your friends but would you like to come to my place? We can spend some time together while I work."

She smiled widely at this, immediately reaching for her phone to text Alex that she was going to Lena's.

"Of course. I'd _love_  to."

"Great."

There was something to the smile she received from her friend but she dismissed it as her overthinking it.

Soon they arrived at where the car was parked and Lena drove off.

Maybe it had been a good decision to invite her after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of uneventful but I wanted to get rid of the awkward Lena who is actually Lillian and Kara interactions that are necessary to understand that Kara can tell something is wrong.
> 
> Sorry that it is such a bad awkward chapter.


	20. You can trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lena" proposes something to Kara.

Kara was nervous. Not in her usual way. Not like when she would spend time with Lena and her friend would be acting flirty. No. She knew that was just how the brunette was. She flirted. In fact, Kara had experienced first hand her flirty comments being directed towards other people. Or about them. Which she had wondered about as Lena seemed to be more interested in teasing her and others than in pursuing anything. Either way, this right now made her far more nervous than when she would flirt. 

It wasn't that she was in a car alone with Lena. That had happened a few times before when they made plans that were too far for them to just walk there. And whenever her friend insisted she could drive them instead of calling her driver.

It wasn't even the fact she was finally going to see Lena's house. No. She was curious and slightly excited about that. Having imagined such place many times before. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed Lena lived in her office as she seemed to always be there. So, no, she wasn't nervous. This was nice and felt like a step forward in their friendship and in fixing it. It felt like she was trusting Kara with a new piece of who she is.

It was the fact she was all too aware of how she felt. Now more than ever. She knew who she was and didn't want to hide it any longer. She was slowly accepting herself and Kara knew that one day she would be able to be herself completely. And she was all too aware that this had happened because of Lena. Without realizing it the girl had made her feel too much. Feelings she had always pushed inside and ones she had only imagined. Because if Kara was honest with herself she would have to admit that what she felt for her best friend was so much more than she thought was possible.

So yes, this situation was making her nervous. Because right now she was alone in a car with Lena, on their way to her home and Kara had strong feelings for this girl. 

What a mess.

What was she supposed to do now?

Everything was strange between them. Tense. And it wasn't like before. No. Before everything, the tension was... good. It was staring at each other for far too long and wondering if the other would ever put them out of their misery by making a move. Now it's more like Kara wondering how much Lena hates her at the moment.

Of course, she had also invited her over but why would she? Kara didn't know.

She allowed herself to look at her friend for the first time since they got in the car. They hadn't said anything at all since they left the parking lot. The only noise was the faint music coming from the radio. Her friend seemed focused on the road, driving in a different way than before. Less relaxed. Her hands placed differently on the wheel. Something she had only noticed because there had been moments when she wished she could hold Lena's hand while she drove them to wherever they were going.

She sighed, forcing her eyes to look elsewhere. Choosing instead to focus on the window on her side, looking at the city.

After a few more minutes they arrived at the building. Kara recognized it as one of those places where the richest people in the city lived. Of course, Lena's apartment would be here.

Lena parked the car in the garage, getting out of the car without saying anything at all.

Why wouldn't she speak?

Normally Kara would fill in the silence but she didn't know what kind of relationship they currently had and the entire night had been too awkward for her to feel comfortable with speaking nonsense.

"Follow me." Lena finally said, making her way to the elevator.

The elevator ride was also awkward. Although, Kara's mind was more focused on how good Lena looked. Her friend who was a step closer to the door which allowed for a nice...view. What was she? A high school fuckboy?

 _Rao, she was hopeless_.

Of course, Lena would have the top floor to herself. Kara smiled at that.

"You have a nice place. Why do we hang out at mine?" She spoke, looking around as they walked inside.

The apartment was definitely much like what a millionaire's apartment would look like but it still felt like a home. Maybe it was because Lena did have personal items all over. There were a few books in the living room, clearly well read and not brand new and only for decoration. Some photographs. Of her family and some of her with friends. All of them seemed to be a few years old as Lena looked younger. Which reminded her that Lena, despite everything she had already achieved, was only 24. Those photos couldn't be that old. And then she noticed the art, recognizing some of Lena's favorites. Which she knew from some of their conversations about art and that one time Lena got her to go to an art exhibit. When she had purchased one of their favorite painting. Well, Kara's favorite. But she didn't mention how Lena had chosen the one she thought was best.

"Remember this?" She said excitingly, pointing at the painting. 

There was a moment of silence, Lena looking at her with a confused expression before faking a smile. "Of course I do."

"Right." Kara said, feeling that same feeling from before. There was something wrong. "So, what am I doing here?"

"I was hoping we could have a serious conversation."

This is it. They're going to talk about what happened and she's going to find out that Lena hates her and that for her it was just sex and-

"Okay." She said, wanting to step her own overthinking.

Lena gestured to the couch, sitting down.

"We are friends, am I right?"

"Yes." She responded but her voice wasn't as confident as she wished it was.

"Maybe something more?"

Was it possible for her to have a heart attack? It felt like it.

"I- I- _No_? I mean- Best friends?"

Lena nodded, seeming to be taking in that answer.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." This time there was no hesitation.

"I was hoping you would say that."

She was confused, that's for sure.

"I want to help you, Kara."

"Help me with what?"

"Help you be a hero, of course."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Am I correct to assume you do not want to be affected by Kryptonite?"

Kara's crinkle made an appearance, out of confusion.

"Of course."

"I can help. L-Corp has a lot of resources. I do believe we have the best labs and people to find a way to protect you from it."

"You really think so?"

That would actually be very helpful. Nothing like what Kara had expected from this situation, though.

"I do. I only need some samples."

"Samples of what?"

"Blood. We can easily make synthetic Kryptonite." Lena spoke calmly. "It's unstable but it only needs to work well enough to do tests."

"You need my blood?"

 That sent a chill through her. Lillian had tortured her for the exact same purpose months before. But she knew Lena. And her friend was nothing if not kind and a good person. The opposite of her mother. 

"Yes. I can't test it without it. Unfortunately, there aren't many Kryptonians walking around that could provide it. It needs to be yours."

Kara thought about it for a second. Was this the reason why she had invited her over?

"So you invited me here to say this?"

"I don't think your friends would have been okay with my proposal so I thought the privacy would help." 

She was right. Alex would have likely started a fight with Lena if she heard any of this. Her sister could be overprotective and hotheaded.

"I- I want to say yes but-"

"You do trust me, don't you?"

Wait- She looked down, finding Lena's hand on her knee which caused her to freeze. Afraid to even move.

"I- Do. Yes. I trust you."

"Then trust me on this."

She thought it over for a minute. Lena wouldn't betray her. No way. Lena Luthor was a good person and Kara trusted her with her life.

But something still felt off about this.

Only, she couldn't really help but feel weak when Lena was looking at her with those eyes and touching her knee.

"Okay. But you have to protect it. I don't know what could happen if anyone got a hold of my blood."

"You can trust me, Kara."

She smiled at her friend.

"You should come by L-Corp tomorrow. It will only take a few minutes."

"Sounds like a date. I meant- plan. Sounds like a plan." She said awkwardly.

"I have to rest now."

"Sure. Yeah. I'll-" She got up, pointing at the door awkwardly. "Have a goodnight, Lena."

"Goodnight."

Her friend was still stoic as if she were doing business and it felt weird but she didn't want to overthink it.

Even if part of her kept screaming that something was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to figure out which plot to go for since there were many possibilities.
> 
> I decided against Lillian seducing Kara because it was too much and it couldn't possibly be concensual.
> 
> Next chapter the real Lena will make an appearance.


	21. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara POV.
> 
> "Lena" fights Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update. I had been struggling with this chapter for days.

As promised Kara made her way to meet Lena at L-Corp. Of course, she had gone through the events of the previous night and yes, the conversation had been strange. And Lena was acting differently. But she was still her best friend and Kara trusted her blindly.

Kara wasn't naive, though. She knew people could do bad things and sometimes Lena did have a morally grey stance on certain subjects. But she was not Lillian or Lex. She wouldn't hurt her or betray her. Although the blood thing was slightly weird, she knew her friend must have the best intentions.

Oh, how wrong she was. If only she had known.

She had been to the labs before, sometimes Lena would be working there on some new project and they would end up eating lunch amongst the technology. She knew just where to go and it wasn't particularly complicated to find the brunette, looking through the material necessary for what they were about to do.

Maybe she should have told Alex about this. Of course, her sister would have yelled at her and told her not to do it. Hell, she would have likely arrested Lena right away just for suggesting such thing. Probably would have interrogated her too. In any case, she would have stopped her and Kara would come to wish she had informed her of this idea and the fact she agreed to it.

So there she was, having a conversation with Lena. Still sounding extremely awkward, which was to be expected considering the last month. When they used the synthetic Kryptonite to take her blood. Not too much but enough to make her light headed until the Kryptonite was back inside a lead box. Slowly, she regained her powers and everything seemed back to normal.

It really did not take long and Kara didn't think much of it. Maybe she should have. She should have questioned what was the blood truly for. But she didn't.

Because Kara has a weakness besides Kryptonite that nobody knows about and that weakness has a heartbeat and the most incredible jawline.

After it was all done she went back to CatCo, back to working on whatever bad story she was given that day. 

It wasn't a particularly interesting day. She didn't really do much and even as Supergirl, it was rather uneventful. 

Until she woke up in the middle of the night because someone was calling her.

Kara grunted, reaching for her phone and picking up right away. It must be an important call considering the time.

"Hey?"

"Kara. We need you to come in as fast as you can."

It was Alex and she sounded seriously worried about something which caused her to feel uneasy about the situation. Whatever was going on could not be good.

In five minutes she was at the DEO, a curious crinkle appearing in her expression as she walked up to J'onn, Alex, and Winn who were looking at the screens.

"What's wro-" She didn't finish that question.

If there was one thing she could not have predicted it was this.

"Do you know what's going on?" Alex questioned, turning to face her with her serious expression. The don't mess with me one.

Kara shook her head, still confused about what she was seeing on the screens.

It was impossible.

Lena Luthor was flying. Okay, scratch that. She was flying and destroying the city. 

That last part somehow sounded less plausible than the first.

How was that even possible?

Was Lena an alien?

But that one time Kara had to rescue her from falling to her death. Surely she can't fly.

Yet the screens were showing her otherwise.

"What do we know?" Asked J'onn, looking around the room.

Nobody spoke.

"Maybe she is a new species of alien?" Winn suggested.

"Not likely. She has been in danger before and yet we have never seen her use powers." J'onn countered.

That was true.

Lena, as far as Kara knew, was completely human.

"Maybe she's like Barry. A metahuman." Winn offered again.

"It's possible. She works with technology. It could be an experiment gone wrong."

"No. I was with her today. She- Her project wasn't dangerous." Kara finally said, shaking her head and crossing her arms, still staring at the screens.

"What exactly was she working on?"

Kara ignored the question, not wanting to have everyone say bad things about her friend.

"I need to take her in."

"Supergirl, we don't know what her powers are." J'onn spoke but she didn't stop.

She had to stop Lena from destroying anything else. Clearly, she wasn't herself at the moment and the longer she allowed it to go on, the longer it would take for her friend to regain the trust and respect she had earned through her good work during the past year. She couldn't allow that to happen. Lena deserved better.

 

\- - - - - -

 

"Supergirl." Lena spoke, with a smirk. "Took you long enough."

"Lena. Stop what you're doing."

Her friend laughed in a way that sent shivers down her back. Something was seriously wrong. That was nothing like her laughter, it was different. Darker. And Kara could tell something had changed. Well, she had been able to tell for a while now but this situation was confirmation that she had been right and Lena wasn't simply being weird around her due to what had happened between them.

"You're good, Lena. You don't have to do this."

The brunette smirked yet again. "If it makes you feel better, I have no interest in destroying National City."

Then what was she doing?

"You truly are predictable, Kara."

If it weren't for the fact they were hovering the street bellow, she would have been worried about her identity. But there was nobody around them at the moment. 

Of course, there were the skyscrapers surrounding them but nobody could hear them from all the way over there.

"What do you want?"

Lena smiled, usually, Kara loved her smile. It was easily one of her favorite ones in the entire world. Or worlds. Yet this was yet again unfamiliar to her.

"You."

Lasers hit her, taking Kara by surprise and causing her to stumble back in the air. Struggling to keep herself hovering steadily again. How was this even possible? Lena wasn't an alien, she shouldn't be able to do such thing. Even if she were one, Kara couldn't think of a species other than Kryptonians that had such powers. And Lena surely wasn't from Krypton.

"How?"

Her friend grinned.

Of course, the blood. She must have used it.

Kara scolded herself for letting her have it. For blindly trusting Lena. Yet she still had doubts that the Lena in front of her was a bad person.

Even with Lena in front of her, using powers like hers, after the betrayal, she believed her friend was good.

"Why?" She yelled out, hurt coming through in her tone.

"Earth is not a place for those like you." Lena spat, showing disgust as she spoke. "Lex was right. It is up to us Luthors to ensure our world is not overrun by these- things."

All she could do was stare at her friend, shocked to hear those words coming from her mouth. How could she think such thing? After everything. After they became so close. 

Maybe it had been her fault. Maybe Kara being infected with red Kryptonite had caused this change in Lena's heart. Maybe it had made her friend hate her and those like her.

"Lena." She spoke, fighting the tears forming in her eyes.

Scanning her friend's face she saw nothing but hatred and disgust. Something she hoped to never see in her face. Especially not towards herself.

"This has been a lovely conversation, Supergirl. But I am afraid it is time to show everyone that you are a weak foolish breed."

Kara opened her mouth to say something but suddenly Lena was flying towards her, almost as fast as Kara knew she could be. The shock froze her in place, allowing her to be tackled against the building behind her.

She grunted, feeling slight pain as she normally did from a big impact. Pain that disappeared a second later. 

"Stop this, Lena." She let out, pushing her friend away. Not hard enough to really hurt her.

They were now standing on a floor of the building that was clearly quite damaged from their impact. A few feet apart but staring at each other.

"So much power and your weakness is a human. Pathetic."

Kara searched her friend's face for something familiar but it all seemed so foreign. She looked like Lena but she was so different.

"It's not a weakness." She whispered.

Lena let out a single laugh, amused by her words, apparently. "Then why aren't you attacking me?"

"Because I know you, Lena. You're a good person. This-" She points at her. "It's not who you are."

"In that case... Be my guess not to fight back. It will make this easier for me." She spoke, shooting her laser vision at her again. 

This time Kara was able to move and avoid the impact, tackling Lena to the floor, both of them stopping by the edge of the building. Their heads just over the edge of the hole they had made.

"Stop."

Lena laughed again.

"Pathetic."

She was pushed upwards, her friend flying away from the building but hovering close enough. Obviously challenging her into a fight yet again.

"Show me what you can do, Supergirl."

Kara hovered, slowly moving closer, unsure of what to do. 

Alex had been occasionally updating her on the location of agents and was now yelling out that they had kryptonite bullets ready for Lena, if necessary.

They weren't sure if it would work, considering they weren't even sure of what Lena was.

But Kara wanted to avoid those extreme methods. Surely there had to be a better way to stop her friend than to shoot her.

"Are you going to stare at me all day, Supergirl?"

Kara flew forward, trying to tackle the woman again. Only for her to avoid her at the last second. She clearly had her speed, that's for sure.

"You can do better than that."

"Why are you doing this?" Kara yelled yet again. Still unsure of what was going on. "Why not just kill me?"

Lena seemed amused by her question, a smirk growing. "Where is the fun in that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter.
> 
> Also, the triangle Lillian used makes it so she has to kill Lena to stay in her body after some days. Now, Lillian "tainted" Lena's blood with Kara's and of course she would hate to actually stay in a body with Alien anything in it. So, Lillian does plan to go back to her body after getting rid of Kara. Which would also ensure that she remains free because nobody would know it was her who did this.


	22. Luthors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real Lena makes a comeback.

Okay so fighting her best friend in the middle of the night had not been something she had imagined, yet there she was. 

Luckily it was still dark out so there was hardly anyone out, although people were starting to gather up due to the destruction from the fight. 

Kara couldn't even catch a break. Lena wouldn't stop. And maybe she hadn't really processed the fact that her best friend actually wanted her dead. Which showed because Lena was kicking her ass. 

Of course, that might also be because Kara was holding back, not wanting to hurt her friend. Despite it all.

There had to be something more to this, surely. There had to be much more. Lena couldn't just be a Luthor. No. Kara knew her friend and something must have gone wrong.

"Kara, we should just use the bullets."

"No, Alex. We don't know if she can survive Kryptonite. What if she doesn't have healing powers like mine?"

Her sister grunted, clearly unhappy with not being able to do anything.

Suddenly there was a noise coming from the earpiece but Kara dismissed it, something must have jammed the communication line for a second.

"Supergirl, get down." 

Was that? She looked behind her, wondering if she had actually heard that voice.

"Now."

She didn't have time to question it or check where it was coming from. Her instincts reacted and she did as she was told. 

There was a gunshot noise echoing through the area, her eyes widened in surprise. She wasn't sure what had just happened or why or even who had been shot.

Checking her own body she made sure all was clear before turning around. But what she found wasn't a wounded Lena, it was a falling one. Trapped by some sort of net that was glowing green. 

Kryptonite.

"What is going on?" Alex yelled out.

"Someone has hacked into our comms. I'm trying to kick them out." Winn spoke now.

Kara was still looking at Lena, her body now being held by J'onn who had been waiting to step in, if necessary.

"No need for that, Winn." The voice said again.

"Lillian?" Kara finally asked, looking around at where the shot might have come from. There were several buildings surrounding them and she had yet to spot anyone.

"Not quite." 

"Is that Lillian Luthor?" Winn questioned, sounding as confused as Kara felt.

Why would Lillian help her, out of everyone, especially against Lena who not only was a Luthor but clearly wanted to kill her?

She flew to the ground, landing by J'onn, Alex, and a now unconscious Lena. Alex had used a tranquilizer on her so she would stop fighting and they could transport her to the DEO. It was not a pretty sight and Kara felt sick just looking at her friend like that.

As they tried to clear the area that had now gathered the attention of quite a few people, the voice that belonged to Lillian Luthor came back.

"Supergirl, we need to talk."

Kara scoffed, "You've just shown us that you have Kryptonite weapons. I'm not meeting you anywhere."

She could hear a sigh from the comm.

"I'm not Lillian."

"Nice try."

"Look..." The woman took a deep breath. "I'm Lena. Lillian switched bodies with me. I know it sounds crazy but I need you to believe me."

"Why would I do that? You've betrayed my trust before in that alien ship."

Alex spoke this time, not letting the other woman argue against what she said. "If you want to turn yourself in and admit your guilt as head of Cadmus as well as to turn in any other weapon you might have, you are more than happy to talk. Otherwise, I'm putting a bullet in you, if you attempt to try anything."

"Do you even know where I am?"

She did have a point. Kara could scan the area but it would be useless since there were far too many people inside the buildings. That had been why she hadn't even attempted such thing when she heard the shot.

"Do you really think we will believe that you two changed bodies?" Kara asked, irritation clear in her tone.

Of course, she wanted it to be true because it meant that wasn't Lena trying to kill her but it was too strange. And she had seen strange things.

"I can prove it."

"Turn yourself in and we can talk." J'onn offered.

There was a laugh coming from their earpieces. "I'm not that foolish. I don't trust that you won't shoot me or lock me up without hearing what I have to say."

"I can promise you that we won't."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm afraid I can't trust that promise. Not as Lillian."

Somehow Kara felt something familiar in this voice. In the tone and the way the words came out. She dismissed it, taking it as wishful thinking.

"What if I prove it? I'll tell you things only I would know."

Kara sighed, she wasn't amused by this little game.

"Fine."

It took a few seconds for the other voice to come back. 

"I know you hate Kale, to the point of looking almost murderous whenever I suggest it. You've actually sworn you'd never walk into that vegan food place I love that I once made you try. Great effort pretending to enjoy it by the way but you can't lie to save your life."

At that Alex looked at her curiously, raising her eyebrows. Probably surprised that Kara had actually attempted to eat vegan food for Lena. Which caused her to blush and shrug.

"Everyone could know that. I never buy healthy food and who's to say Lillian doesn't have surveillance that could have seen me with Lena in public?"

"Tough crowd." 

Alex rolled her eyes dramatically, her arms crossed. J'onn was taking Lena to the DEO in one of the vans with some other agents.

"Fine. You want something only we two would know? Something private?" 

Kara was scared to say yes.

"You used some incredibly smooth speech about my eyes and their color when you kissed me the first time. Is that personal enough? Or the fact you bought us take out after we had sex because I woke up too late for breakfast anyways? Or maybe you'd like to hear how you interrupted a business call because you couldn't keep it in your pants for more than a couple of minutes."

She was yelling now and Kara could tell she was in distress. Honestly, she had thought this was all a trick but now she was sure that it was true. There was no way for anyone else to know all these things. But it was still Lillian's voice and it made her feel exposed and slightly grossed out to hear who she would have assumed to be Lillian saying those things.

Yet there was no doubt in her mind that it was Lena. It had to be.

And now it wasn't just wishful thinking. Because Kara could never wish for a reality where Lena would be in as much distress as her tone suggested.

"I believe you."

Kara spoke softly, finally looking at her sister who was slightly mortified, probably due to what she had just learned about her but she didn't care. Right now she cared about helping Lena. Making her feel better.

She could tell that Lena hadn't meant to just spill those things, it was her breaking down in some way.

"Where are you?"

There was silence and Kara wondered if the woman hadn't meant to turn herself in.

"I'll go to you. Please don't shoot."

 

\- - - - - -

 

This was definitely not how Kara had imagined this would have gone. 

Alex had insisted in handcuffing this Lillian who apparently could be Lena and took away the gun that didn't even really look like a gun from her. Confiscating it as it could be used against her. Which the woman had scoffed at, telling her there was only one Kryptonite net and she had used it. 

Kara insisted on going by car, unsure if Alex believed Lena's story about the body changing situation. She wanted to be the gray neutral area between dismissal and certainty. Although, she did believe the woman. She wasn't just saying that. And now, looking at her, she could sense a familiarity that had been missing this past couple of days with Lena. Or rather, Lillian in Lena's body? It was all very confusing.

Once they got to the DEO they placed Lillian in an interrogation room, J'onn letting them know that the Lena she had fought had been yelling out not to trust her mother. 

"I can't seem to read her mind. I don't know why that is." J'onn told them, concern in his expression.

Things were never easy, were they?

Alex wanted to interrogate Lillian first but after minutes of rambling and pouting, mostly the second, she convinced her to let her go in first.

Sitting on the other side of the table, across from Lillian she looked at the woman. She did seem different. Not so much smug confident Lillian but more like someone in distress who was scared.

"Lena?" She whispered, breaking the silence.

The woman's eyes seemed to sparkle, showing hope as she heard the name. Finally looking directly at her.

"Yes?"

"What you said... It's really you, isn't it? I thought you were just being weird because of everything going on but- I should have seen it sooner."

"Do you really believe me? You weren't lying?"

Kara shook her head.

"It's not just because of what you said." She admitted. "Although, that did help a lot."

"What was it then?"

"She isn't you."

They stared at each other intensively. As they often did. Always causing Kara to lose all sense of time and space. 

"I'm sorry. I should have known sooner. I had my doubts but I guess we aren't exactly in the best place and I- she didn't even know about the painting in your wall. The one from the gallery."

The woman's eyes widened but she quickly replaced it with a signature expression that Kara knew well as the CEO that means business one. "I don't blame you, Kara."

She sighed. Shaking her head. Kara knew she had to do her job and ask her question now. Her opinion wasn't enough.

"I need some answers."

"Of course. But first..." Lena looked at the camera filming them. "We should get Jeremiah."

Kara's eyes widened at the mention of her adoptive father. She was about to question what was going on and how she knew such name when Alex walked in.

"What did you say?" She asked, looking both angry and hopeful. It was a strange combination.

"He helped me after my crazy mother kidnapped me. Well, we helped each other but he didn't come with me. He's trying to gather up evidence against my mother. Making sure he stops her for good." 

"Where?"

"I can show you." She offered, looking between both Danvers sisters. "We escaped and instead of running Jeremiah wanted to free some other people who were being kept there. People who were clearly against Cadmus and my mother. He stayed behind and told me that he would be gathering up the evidence there. I told him I'd inform you. It was the least I could do."

Alex looked at her just as she looked at her. 

Kara was inclined to trust the woman sitting across from her but maybe she was biased.

"How can we trust you?" Alex questioned, her face as serious as possible.

The woman sighed. "He told me you had a punk phase. He also said that you'd occasionally convince Kara to test her powers in dangerous ways. I believe you once used a BB gun?"

Kara raised an eyebrow at Alex, a small smile making an appearance as she thought of that. It was one of the first moments when they truly bonded. Weirdly.

"Alright, Luthor. Tell me exactly where he is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena is a badass so yes, she saved the day without being as extreme as the DEO would be.


	23. What do you mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission to rescue Jeremiah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update

Lena gave them all the information she could recall. Letting them know exactly what to expect and assuring everyone that there should not be any issues. They simply needed to go get everyone out. Or so she hoped. 

She caught Kara eyeing her weirdly, maybe because she still looked like her mother and it must be a strange sight for her best friend who knows her so well. 

Meanwhile, the man in charge, who she learned was named J'onn, had been interrogating her mother. Using a room with kryptonite to ensure she did not have the power to escape. 

The brunette was so caught up in her own thoughts about the messy situation she had found herself in that she hadn't noticed Kara walking up to her as everyone walked out of the briefing to prepare.

"I'm sorry."

Lena furrowed her brows, wondering what the girl meant.

"For not knowing it was you."

"You've already apologized, Kara." 

There was a moment of silence between them, Kara was looking down and Lena tried to read her demeanor as if that could help figure out what was in her friend's mind.

"Is this..." Kara sighed, "Permanent?"

Lena shrugged, "I would hope not. Jeremiah and I spoke about it. He said my mother had contacted several people who make a living of finding alien objects. She was particularly interested in the one she used. It's a triangle with a symbol I had never seen before."

Kara looked back up at her. "Maybe I can help. Can you draw it? I have a database. It's a longshot but there might be information about it there."

She nodded. Lena would do that once they came back with Jeremiah and the others.

 

\- - - - - -

 

They walked into the building where Lena had been held, everyone geared up. Even she had a bulletproof vest on. 

She had gone as a way to ensure that they had leverage, in case Lena was lying. Something that seemed to offend Kara more than her.

"All clear." Alex spoke, checking the last room before they moved to the level bellow.

It took them a few seconds for them to spot a familiar face. Jeremiah amongst several aliens and experiments of Lillian's. There seemed to be some humans as well.

Some of these people were restrained, likely the ones that had been brainwashed into joining Cadmus. Including the man who looked a lot like J'onn, who was now unconscious. 

"Alex?" He said, spotting his daughter right away, causing her to run up to him.

They hugged and Lena couldn't keep from smiling. Jeremiah giving her a wink over Alex's shoulder just before an overly happy Kryptonian crashed into both of them, almost knocking them down.

"Jeremiah." She yelled out, excitingly. 

"I missed you too, Kara." He spoke, hugging both his daughters.

J'onn, who had gone along with them was also smiling. What she didn't expect was for him to place a hand on her shoulder. "I trust you."

Of course, that had caused her to look at him in surprise. She hadn't expected it to be that easy. "Thank you."

"No." J'onn spoke again, shaking his head. "Thank you for doing that."

"I didn't."

He smiled kindly and Lena decided that she liked this man. He was kind and good. She could tell. "Now I understand why Kara would yell at us whenever we even suggested you were anything less than good."

Lena smiled, looking back at the family, speaking excitingly and smiling widely. "She has too much faith in me."

"Perhaps you ought to have more faith in yourself."

She sighed, just before Kara walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. One of the tight soft hugs that only Kara could give. The ones that made her feel oddly at home as if nothing was wrong. As if everything was perfect, as long as she was there in her friend's arms.

"I knew I could trust you."

"I can't thank you enough for believing me, Kara."

"You're my best friend, Lena. I will always believe you. Besides, what are friends for if not to stand for each other?" She smiled so brightly, Lena was sure she could go blind staring at that smile.

"We should move out." J'onn called out, after saying something to Jeremiah. "Let's bring everyone with us."

 

\- - - - - -

 

Jeremiah approached her after they arrived at the DEO. A box in his hands and a kind expression on his face. Lena wondered what was going on but waited for the man to speak.

"I found the triangle."

Her eyes widened and she had to fight the urge to smile at that news. It was almost too good to believe and lately good things didn't tend to last long.

"Are you certain?"

"Check for yourself."

She opened the box, hesitantly as she did not want to be too hopeful about it but sure enough the triangle was there. The same one she had seen that night in her office. 

Kara walked up to them a moment later, as she was still staring at the object. It all could go back to normal. Well, as normal as things could ever be in her life.

"What's that?"

"It's the object my mother used to swap bodies with me." Lena affirmed, staring at it.

"Can I see?"

She showed her the box, finally looking over at the blonde. "Don't touch it. That's how she did it. We were both touching that."

Her friend was staring. Not like she recognized the object but like it was somehow familiar. But it wasn't until her next words came out that she understood why that was. "It's kryptonian." She whispered.

"The symbol... It means water." She continued. "How did Lillian get this?"

It was Jeremiah who answered. "I believe she has been searching for alien objects for quite some time now. Trying to fight aliens with their own technology. I wasn't aware she had found this one. Maybe it was a recent. I only knew she had an interest in it."

"In theory, we can use it to change your bodies again." She stated with a small smile, closing the box and holding it.

"I would hope so. I would rather not have to stay in my mother's body any longer." 

Kara nodded. "Come with me." She spoke, quickly grabbing her hand and not really leaving her with much of a choice on the matter as she pulled her along.

They walked through different halls before arriving in front of a door. Kara seemed to hesitate before looking back at Lena who was staring at her. Mostly confused as to what they were doing.

The door opened and they walked inside. Soon enough Kara sighed, breaking the silence. "Mom."

Lena looked at her confused before nearly jumping at the sight of someone appearing out of nowhere. Until she noticed it was a hologram. Of what she assumed to be Kara's mother. 

"Hello, Kara." 

She was marveling herself at the sight of such technology but also at how Kara had brought her in there and was trusting her with this.

Kara looked at her for the first time since they entered the room and there was something in her expression that Lena couldn't quite figure out, no matter how hard she tried to make sense of it.

"It's not really her but..." Her voice was soft and had a sadness to it and Lena couldn't stop herself from hugging her friend.

When they broke apart they stared at each other and Lena offered her a small smile. Encouraging her to go on.

"She has knowledge. Maybe it could help us."

Lena nodded.

They spoke with the hologram. Mostly Kara and her 'mother'. Lena stared and took in the sight of the technology and what would have been her friend's mother. She was beautiful, just like Kara. There was no surprise there.

The projection explained the object was called 'Crystal of Water' and that there should be two others. This one can transpose the essences of two people touching the crystal at the same time. It also explained that they would naturally change bodies again if neither of them died once a week had passed. 

"I think I would rather change back now than wait a few more days. Being in my mother's body has not been a pleasant experience."

Kara chuckled. "It's really strange to talk to you when you look and sound like her. Even if your accent still comes out sometimes." She teased, nudging her.

Lena let out a laugh before smiling fondly at her friend. Despite everything that had happened, she knew they would be alright.

"Are you still..." Kara didn't finish the question and she didn't have to. The CEO knew exactly what she was asking.

"Yes." She admitted with a shrug. "But you are my best friend and I love you, Kara. I just wish... You didn't have to ignore me for so long."

"I know. I was afraid and confused."

She nodded. "You hurt me."

The kryptonian placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to her as they sat on one of the rooms waiting for authorization to have them use the crystal.

"I know. I'm sorry, Lena. I was so afraid of what I am, of disappointing my people and family, of accepting... what I feel."

Her eyes were focused on her friend's face that was so close to hers. "It's okay to be afraid, Kara. You're the bravest person I know but it's okay to not always be brave." She spoke softly. "I do hope you know that you do not have to hide your fear from me."

"This is why you're the genius."

Lena laughed at the words, shaking her head. She knew Kara was trying to lighten up the mood. "I believe I'm not the only genius here, Ms. I was about to become the youngest member of the science Guild."

They weren't touching anymore, in fact, Kara was now sitting slightly more distant but turned to her. "I have feelings for you, Lena."

Her eyes widened. 

There was no way she had heard that correctly. No. Kara was not telling her she had feelings for her. 

No way.

She must have heard wrong.

Someone like Kara would never go for someone like her.

Lena was in shock and couldn't bring herself to speak. Mostly because she was unsure if she had even heard those words or was imagining it.

"I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." Kara started rambling.

All Lena could do was place her hands over her friend's.

"We are ready to use the crystal." Winn announced as he entered the room, not looking up from the tablet.

They awkwardly moved apart and followed him.

A few minutes later Lena found herself in a room, in restraints, with Lillian and wasted no time to use the object.

Kara gasped as she saw what happened when it was used. There was a change in the air around the two women and she kept her eyes on Lena's body, hoping to see a change.

After a few seconds, Lena spoke. "Where am I?" She questioned, looking down at herself.

The blonde who was standing on the corner laughed immediately. Probably taking it as a joke or so she assumed, but Lena was confused.

Lillian looked as confused as she was and Lena almost wanted to ask if she was feeling like something was missing.

Kara left the room and Lena followed her, feeling different somehow, now that she was moving.

"How are you feeling?"

She didn't know. She wasn't really sure of anything at the moment. "What happened?"

"What do you mean? We did it. You're back."

Lena furrowed her brows and stared at Kara, wondering what she meant. "Kara, what is going on? Last I remember I was in my office when my mother walked in with some of her men."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be focusing on Kara/Lena


	24. We can help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait

To say that things had gone wrong would be an understatement. Apparently, both women had lost their memories of the events of the past few days. Which was both a blessing and a curse. It meant Lena did not remember her mother using and kidnapping her, that she didn't recall all the bad things that her mother did. But it also meant that Kara would have to tell her about it all.

Which was fine. Or at least better than she expected.

Lena was surprisingly calm while she informed her of what had happened. In fact, she had only worried about two things. The possibility of having hurt anyone which Kara immediately assured her hadn't happened, and how what happened was affecting her company. Kara assured her that Supergirl would be willing to tell everyone that person attacking her had not been the real Lena and that she had actually saved the day.

Kara told her all she recalled about what happened. From what Lillian had done while in Lena's body to what Lena herself had done. She also showed her footage of the interrogation rooms, both of her and her mother. 

Her friend looked exhausted as she took in the information. It was a lot to process and Kara wished they were in a better place so she could help her. Unfortunately, things were back to being strange between them. 

Eventually, Kara took a break and went to talk with Winn, Alex and J'onn who were trying to figure out how to reverse the powers Lena seemed to have at the moment. All while Jeremiah spoke with Lena and told her about their time imprisoned together.

"Do you think she'll go back to normal?"

Alex had her crossed arms stance as she looked at the information they had got from Lena's blood. "Her blood seems to be identical to yours. I don't know if there is a way to reverse what Lillian did."

"I've been looking through the DEO's database but I haven't found anything." Winn announced, typing away.

J'onn sighed, looking slightly defeated. "A Luthor with Kryptonian powers. Just what we needed."

"She's not like her family." Kara argued quickly after, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"I know, Supergirl. But people are still just now starting to trust her and Lillian made sure to have her fight you in the middle of the city."

"I- I'll explain. To everyone. I'll tell them it wasn't really her. She wasn't in control."

"It will take a while before they get over it and stop fearing her." Alex spoke now.

Kara knew this, of course. And she hated it. She hated that Lena being the victim would ruin everything she had been working towards for over a year. She sighed, letting herself fall into one of the chairs.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Lena grunted, allowing her head to drop to her knees. She was sitting in one of the beds at the DEO, legs against her chest and arms holding them tightly. Everything was too much and not only was the information overwhelming but she was experiencing the world with powers for the first time and it was too much.

Jeremiah seemed to understand. They had been talking to Lena about what happened to them and how they had gotten along, which surprised her. After noticing how overwhelmed she was he had left the room, letting her know he was getting something that could help her. 

A few minutes later he walked into the room holding a pair of glasses, similar to the ones Kara used. Did they actually help with the powers?

He held them out for her to take and she hesitantly reached out to hold them, afraid to break them because of her newfound strength. 

Lena put them on and suddenly she didn't have to fight back the x Ray vision or the laser one. Everything was less intense and she found herself relaxing slightly.

"Kara used to get sensory overload when she first arrived. I made a pair of lead lined glasses and she has been wearing them ever since. I thought it could help you as well."

Lena smiled slightly, still holding her legs against herself. "Thank you."

"You saved me. Anything you need, I am here for you."

The Danvers was the strangest family. How were they all so... Caring? Surely they had to have flaws. They couldn't just be perfect, could they?

The door opened and she looked in that direction to find Kara peeking from it as if waiting for permission to enter.

"Well, I better go check how everything is going. Thank you again, Lena." Jeremiah stated as he walked towards the door, giving her one last smile before leaving.

Kara took his place, entering the room quietly and awkwardly. As if she was afraid that Lena would react negatively.

"How are you?" She questioned, looking at her with those caring eyes that still made her weak, even if she was still mad. 

"How do you think I am?" She responded, raising her eyebrows at her friend before sighing. She didn't mean to sound so rude but this whole situation was a lot.

Kara finally sat down, at the end of the bed. Too far away for her liking but it was for the best. "I know it can be overwhelming." She said almost too quietly for her to hear. "I see Jeremiah gave you a pair of these." She said, pointing at where her glasses should be only to find they weren't there. Lena fought the urge to smile at how Kara had forgotten that she was dressed as Supergirl.

"I know things are still... We are not on the best of terms. But you are my best friend, Lena and I meant it when I said that I will always be here for you. I can help you. With your powers."

Lena frowned slightly before looking away. "Does that mean...? Are they permanent?"

The blonde hesitated. "We are trying to find a solution but for now, yes. You'll need to gain control over the powers. I have been there, same as you. Before coming here I didn't have powers and I know how difficult it can be to suddenly have all of those. Alex can also help you. She was the one that helped me the most when I was younger."

She sat there quietly, trying to imagine what her life would be like with powers. Somehow she didn't imagine anything would be different. Aside from dealing with sensory overload. 

"Did my body change? Am I like you?" Lena questioned, finally looking up at her friend.

Kara nodded shyly. "Whatever your mother did, it changed you. Your body. As of right now, you are as Kryptonian as I am. Biologically, of course."

Lena's eyes widened at the news, feeling even more overwhelmed than before. Suddenly she could hear everything and it took her a few minutes to figure out that she was crying into her knees as she heard every noise around her. It was too loud.

It wasn't until she felt arms surrounding her and a familiar scent that she calmed down. Enough to focus on one specific noise. Something she hadn't even noticed she was doing until she felt calmer. Kara's heartbeat.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Kara sat down on her couch. It had been a long while since she had been home. Even if she needed sleep less often than humans did, she still felt exhausted sometimes and this was one of those times.

Alex was with her, not wanting to leave her alone and knowing well enough that she was not okay. No matter how much she insisted that she was.

"Chinese or pizza?" Her sister asked. To which she simply shrugged.

"No opinion on food? Now that's concerning."

Kara sighed, leaning her head back to the couch and looking up at the ceiling. "Do you think she will be okay?"

Her sister dropped the phone on the coffee table and sat beside her. "Lena is a strong woman, Kara. She will be fine."

"You think so?"

"I know so. It might take a while but she will get there."

"I wish I could help her more."

"You can. She will need you to be there for her. Not right this second but until she gets used to her powers. Maybe even afterward. Lena has gone through a lot."

Kara nodded. "I'll be there for her, always." She stated confidently, not leaving room for any doubts. "I was thinking I could help her practice with her powers. Like we used to do. Maybe you could help too."

Alex smiled, "I do have experience with one clumsy alien."

"I was not that bad."

"Kara... How many pieces of furniture did you break during your first year?"

"Fine. But Lena hasn't."

"Yet. She broke the mug I gave her right away."

Kara crossed her arms, pouting. "That's not fair. She's new to this and she's doing great."

"I know. I'm only teasing, Kara."

The blonde sat there in silence for a second before giving her sister a small smile. "Chinese." She finally answered.

She spent the rest of her awake time thinking about Lena and how she might be doing. If it were up to her she would have stayed at the DEO but everyone had insisted she should go since she couldn't help in any way for now. But it still concerned her that Lena was all alone at the DEO. 


	25. Control

If there was one thing Lena prided herself on was that she was in control of her own life. 

Ever since she was a child and despite the efforts of her family, she had ultimately controlled her own life. It was how she ended up in National City, much to Lillian's dismay. 

And now... She was lacking in this control that had been there all along, helping her through her life.

She had been used by her mother in a way she couldn't have predicted, her body used to fight the woman she had feelings for, she had been kidnapped and kept against her will, her memories had been taken from her and she found herself with powers she could not control.

Lena feared how little she could control at the moment.

After crying herself to sleep in DEO's bed, she finally reached out to her secretary and let her know she would be taking a break from work for a while but that she should let her know if anything big happened. 

It wasn't unrealistic to expect the board would try to take her company away from her as she suspected that people had noticed her fighting Supergirl. She didn't want to imagine the awful things being written about her. Surely they would compare her to Lex or Lillian. Perhaps both. Just another Luthor. 

Lena chuckled, tears falling from her eyes. All she had wanted was to help others. To make the world a better place. Make a name for herself. And now... Everything she had been working towards was gone.

Someone knocked on the door and she sighed, not ready to face anyone at all. If it were up to her she would simply stay there for a few days, alone and away from everything.

"Come in." 

J'onn entered the room. He looked serious and Lena found that she was scared of what he might say.

"How are you doing, Ms. Luthor?"

She raised her eyebrows at him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "As well as you'd think."

"I know this situation is not ideal but we are trying to find a way to help you. All things considered, you got lucky."

"Lucky?" She spoke harshly, scoffing at him. The last thing she felt was lucky.

J'onn looked at her with a Stern yet concerned look, "Whatever happens, you have people on your side. Now more than ever."

"With all due respect, I might just have lost my company. Everything I have been working so hard for since I was a teenager. Now I'm just another Luthor. A villain."

"You're a good person, Lena Luthor. And you might find you have won over more people than you think, despite what your mother has done."

"But my company..."

"L-Corp is going to be fine, Ms. Luthor."

"Can you predict the future?"

J'onn smiled for the first time, shaking his head.

"Then I'm afraid that is not all that reassuring." Lena countered, sighing.

"I know a certain Super that will be by your side, she would vouch for you, and the DEO could use a company such as yours."

"You want me to work for you?" She widened her eyes, surprised by his words.

"With us."

 

\- - - - - -

 

"I brought salad." A smiling Kara stated as she entered the room where Lena had been for the last hour. The DEO insisted she should do some more tests so they could try and find a cure.

Lena fought a smile threatening to show up. She was still mad at Kara and no amounts of takeout and smiles would be able to fix it. It wouldn't be that easy.

"I never thought I would see the day you would sound excited about salad." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not. That stuff is gross, Lena. But I thought you'd appreciate it. I, however, already ate. Actually tasty food, not rabbit food."

Lena didn't respond, choosing to simply shake her head as she grabbed the food from Kara.

Alex, who had been taking samples from Lena and doing basic tests for the last hour, took off her gloves and smiled at her. It didn't look like much of a smile. More like something you do when things aren't going well but you don't want to be negative. 

"We're all done here. I don't think J'onn would like it very much if you were eating here."

Kara rolled her eyes, "It was one time and I was really weak, Alex. I needed the food."

"Apparently not enough to get it in your mouth and not everywhere else."

The blonde scoffed before sighing and motioning for her to follow. Which she did. Mostly because she was unsure of what else to do.

They walked in silence until they arrived at a room she had yet to enter. Looking around she guessed this was where the agents would normally eat. 

Kara sat down on a table and she did the same, sitting across from her. She took out the food from the takeout bag and noticed that the blonde was staring at her. 

"What is it?"

"I'm not used to seeing you with glasses. They look nice on you." 

Lena nearly snorted. With everything going on this was the last thing she would have imagined Kara would say. Then again, it was Kara. 

"I do wear glasses, you know?"

"You do?"

Lena nodded, starting to eat. "I'm actually wearing contacts as well as these glasses. Jeremiah told me he would make me a pair that would actually be useful in both ways."

"I guess we still have a lot to learn about each other." Her friend whispered, looking down at the table.

"I suppose we do."

They sat there in silence for a while. Although things weren't good between them it wasn't exactly awkward. It was tense and she could feel there was a lot of unsaid things between them but being around Kara never felt bad. Even after everything.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Lena sighed. "You couldn't have known, Kara."

The blonde shook her head. "You're wrong. I knew, sort of. I could tell something was wrong. I just... With everything going on between us... I didn't know what it was until you told me. Until the real you said it. I should have... She didn't even know about the painting, Lena. She- how did I not know she wasn't you?"

"I think it's safe to assume not many people would automatically jump to the body swapping conclusion, Kara."

The Super took a deep breath. "I had a feeling, you know? That you were different. You felt different. Unlike yourself."

"And you assumed it was because we fought."

Kara nodded.

"I understand."

"You deserve better, Lena. You're so good and she just... She used you. And experimented on you without your consent. I- she..." Kara's hands were forming fists.

"What is done is done. I'm afraid my family has done so much that I've become numb to it. All things considered at least this time my life was not in imminent danger." She stated shrugging. 

"Lena." Kara whispered, sadness in her eyes as she relaxed. Lena immediately regretted looking at her. Deciding to focus on her food again.

"Have you found a way to fix this?"

Kara was silent for a second. "I could give a speech about how Lillian was the one attacking me and you were the one who saved me. People should know you are the hero, Lena. And that might help your company. I- has J'onn spoken to you? I was told the DEO would like to work with L-Corp."

"Kara- I meant... The Kryptonian issue." she whispered. "And to answer your question, yes, J'onn and I have spoken."

"Oh." She sighed. "We are still looking. I- would it be so terrible if you stayed that way?"

"Yes." She hated not being in control. This uneasy feeling was the opposite of what she wanted to feel. Any second now she could hurt someone without meaning to or there could be a loud noise causing her pain or...

Kara looked at her with pain in her eyes but quickly looked away. "I see... We will do everything we can to help you."

"I hurt you."

"Don't be silly. I know how difficult this is. I understand why you wouldn't want to stay like this."

Lena raised her eyebrows at her. "I can hear your heartbeat, Kara."

The other woman blushed at her words. "Right. I forgot about that. I'm not used to people being like me." She admitted in a whisper so low Lena was sure her improved hearing was the only reason why she heard it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's just... I have been alone for so long. Clark and I are the only ones left and he isn't even here. But now..." Kara gestured vaguely towards her.

"I see."

"It's selfish of me to even want for you to stay this way. I do want you to be okay but there will always be a small part of me that wants to feel less-"

"Lonely." Lena finished, offering her a small nod. That was something she understood all too well.

Kara nodded.

"I was thinking about your offer. To help me with these powers. I would like to take it."

Suddenly Kara seemed to almost cheer up as she looked at her. Making Lena feel slightly better.

Of course, she still wanted these powers to be gone as soon as possible. She wanted to go back to normal. But in the meantime, she could work on being able to control them. 


	26. Kryptonian

Lena fell to the ground, hitting it hard and grunting at the feeling. Somehow she didn't feel pain like before but sometimes things did hurt quite a bit even if they didn't seem to injure her. 

They had been testing her powers and it wasn't going all that well. Apparently flying was not as easy as one would think.

She couldn't fly steadily and kept either falling or hitting walls. Which ended with her on the floor anyway.

Kara kept telling her to stop overthinking it, that all she needed to control her powers was to know math and physics which she already did. But it wasn't that simple. Lena couldn't help but overthink or drift off into wondering if she would have to stay this way. Not to mention the bigger distraction in the room, that wasn't at all her fault. 

Could she really be blamed for how many times she ended up falling on her face because she was distracted looking at Kara in her tight workout clothes?

Maybe. She had been the one asking her to wear something other than the Supergirl suit but she hadn't really imagined this.

Of course, she was still mad and now increasingly frustrated with her new powers but it was difficult to pretend she wasn't attracted to the blonde.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked, dropping to her knees beside her and reaching out but stopping just before her hand made contact with her shoulder. She must have been aware of how tense their relationship still was.

Lena nodded, grunting as she got up.

Kara stood up as well, looking slightly concerned and too quiet for her normal self. Something must be wrong because she even had her signature crinkle.

"Just say it."

The blonde seemed to hesitate before sighing. "Superman, he's coming here."

Lena froze. Superman didn't like her or her family. He would likely react badly to her current situation.

Her friend must have sensed that she was starting to overthink her way into sensory overload and reached out to touch her hand, causing her to gasp.

Not because of the physical contact but because of what came with it.

"Kara, what's going on?" She yelled out, her eyes widened in fear of what she was experiencing.

Somehow the blonde seemed to be aware of what was happening because she was staring at her in shock. As if Lena had just told her the most unbelievable thing in the world.

"What is it?" She spoke again, nearly crying as she felt herself fall to her knees, overwhelmed.

"How..." Kara whispered, sitting beside her on the floor and placed the hand Lena has previously been holding on her shoulder. "Lena, how did you do that?"

The brunette looked at her in confusion. What was she talking about? "You were the one that told me about sensory overload, Kara. You know what causes it."

"That's not..." Kara frowned. "We need to continue testing."

"What?" Lena stared at her in anger. "I thought you were going to help me. Not get them to continue piercing me with needles over and over again."

"Lena." She whispered, flinching as she touched her arm to stop her from continuing to touch her. "You don't know what you did, do you?"

She didn't respond. What had she done? It was just sensory overload and some flashes. Nothing more.

"You spoke Kryptonian."

"Kara, don't be ridiculous. I don't know how to speak Kryptonian." She argued, scoffing but looking down at the floor avoiding the blonde.

"You spoke my language." She insisted, her voice breaking. Causing Lena to finally look up at her and notice that there were tears in Kara's eyes. "You- Even Superman doesn't really know how to."

Lena was confused. Shocked. Angry. There were a lot of feelings. "How is that possible?"

The Super shrugged, smiling sadly through the tears. "I don't know."

 

\- - - - - -

 

Lena was sitting in the medical bay when Kara announced Superman's arrival with a forced smile, likely trying to look positive about it. As if she didn't know that a fight was inevitable.

She sighed, waiting as Kara told her to. She wasn't trying to rush to speak with Clark anyway.

Minutes later he entered the room, followed by an angry Kara that was still trying to look positive about the situation. Of course, Lena knew her best friend all too well and could see right through it.

"Mr. Kent." She spoke, sounding as formal as ever.

Superman seemed to be surprised that she had used his real name, looking at Kara with an accusatory look.

"I assure you, Kara didn't tell me about you."

"How-" he started to speak but she cut him off.

"My brother. I've known for years."

"Lena wouldn't compromise your identity, Clark." Kara spoke in her defense, moving to stand beside her. She nearly allowed herself to smile at how protective she seemed.

"Excuse me if I have my doubts about Luthors, Supergirl. I have had bad experiences with that family." He spoke, crossing his arms and looking straight at Kara.

"I know she's Kara, no need for all the super identity formality."

Both Supers turned to look at her. Kara sighed, turning back to her cousin. "Clark, I trust her. She has saved me twice now."

"I trusted her brother too once. He was my best friend and look how that turned out."

Lena simply scoffed. She might have these powers but she was nothing like her family. Not when it came to this. She might sometimes fear that she will become like them but she isn't. Not yet.

"You're here to help us with her powers, not to judge her. You better than anyone else should know that one is innocent until proven guilty. She has done nothing wrong and if you're going to act like this then you can turn around and go back to Metropolis."

Both Clark and she were staring at the blonde who was breathing heavily after speaking those words. She shouldn't but somehow Lena couldn't help but feel warmth as she saw her best friend stand up for her like this.

"We'll talk about this later but you're right. I am here to help." He nodded, turning to face Lena. Her eyes met his and she could tell both of them were uncomfortable. "What are we dealing with?"

Lena looked at Kara who nodded, encouraging her to speak. "I seem to have powers like yours. Flight. Super strength. Invulnerability, at least as far as we know. Super hearing and laser vision." She listed the powers she was aware of and stared at a silent Clark.

A moment later Kara spoke. "Tell him what happened."

She sighed, nodding at her friend. "I felt overwhelmed. Kara told me she experienced sensory overload when she first arrived so I'm assuming that's what it was. I had already experienced it but not like this time." She hesitated to continue, taking a moment to take a deep breath. "I saw flashes. I don't really know of what. They were too fast and there was too much going on. And then-" she looked at Kara again before looking back at Clark. "- I spoke Kryptonian. I didn't realize it until Kara told me I had done it."

She could now say she has seen Superman looking utterly shocked and slightly frightened at the same time.

"Do you know what's happening to her?" Kara asked him, causing Clark to finally blink and look away from Lena.

"I- No. We could try the fortress of solitude but it might be a long shot."

Kara nodded.

"The ice cave?" Lena found herself asking. Leaving both Kara and Clark stunned at the question.

"How much does she know?" Clark asked Kara, still staring directly at her.

"I don't know." Kara whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist?


	27. Fortress of solitude

Kara didn't know what was going on or what she was meant to be feeling.

She was worried for her best friend, of course. Lena's life had never been easy, especially lately, and now things had gotten unbelievably complicated. If Kara could she would help her, no matter what. Even if that meant Lena would give up this connection to Krypton she now seemed to have.

However, part of her hoped her friend would choose to keep her powers. Maybe it was the part that never felt like she fit in. Being the last of her kind was lonely and sometimes she still missed her home planet. She missed speaking Kryptonian the most. Sometimes she worried that she had forgotten how to. Kara would even practice with her mother's hologram just to avoid losing her language. Even Clark didn't really speak it so she had thought that she would be the last person fluent in it.

Until Lena spoke Kryptonian so naturally, as if she had been doing it her whole life.

Suddenly Kara didn't feel so lonely. It was like Lena had given her hope. That one day she could have just a piece of Krypton back. Someone she could actually speak with in her language.

But that wouldn't be fair on Lena. She knew that. Her friend was so overwhelmed. Kara would understand if she wanted nothing to do with Krypton.

Lena had been singing forms for a while, making sure to read everything she signed. It was mostly because of Clark, who wanted to ensure that she would not speak about the fortress. As if her friend hadn't already revealed that she knew about it. 

Placing the pen down Lena looked up at her, Kara decided to give her a smile. One that she knew hadn't been quite as big as she wished.

Clark was the first one to speak. Looking at Kara he started to speak, "You and I will fly to the fortress, look through any and all information on how our blood affects humans. Miss Luthor does not need to come with."

Lena furrowed her brows as she looked at him. "I'm going." she stated, not leaving room for any doubts.

Kara quickly followed her cue and spoke before her cousin could say anything. "Clark, this is her life. She's coming with. Besides, it's no use trying to hide things now, it seems she already knows a lot. It's too late now to try and keep it from her."

He sighed, knowing better than to argue with her. "Fine. I guess you're coming with." he stated, glancing at Lena.

The brunette seemed to relax, getting up from her seat a moment later. "Shall we go?"

Kara insisted on taking Lena herself. It wasn't that she didn't trust Clark but she was her best friend and she was going to protect her. 

"Now I understand the clothing." Lena commented, more to herself than anything considering her volume. She was wearing several layers of clothing, per Kara's insistence. In her defense, she guessed it was better than having a frozen best friend.

"You know, a new robot would be very useful right now." Clark teased.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I can just get you a new robot, Clark."

"There was a robot?" Lena questioned, while she looked around with curious eyes, taking in everything she was seeing.

Kara hummed in response. "He thought I was an intruder because of- Cadmus. I had to destroy him."

Lena glanced at her before staring at the cave again. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." 

Lena simply nodded.

Clark seemed to already be doing research as they spoke.

"There isn't much information."

Kara moved to stand close to him and Lena was a few steps to her side. Curiously looking at the two Supers.

"Humans are a yellow sun species, that we already know." Clark said, reading through information. "You and I get our powers because of the yellow sun but we don't have them otherwise. This is what we know all too well." he sounded annoyed.

The blonde nodded along. "Yes. But the blood changed something in Lena. She isn't just human now. Is she?"

Clark shook his head. "I don't think so. Depending on the world and species we reproduce with, Kryptonians can give others powers through birth. And have powers of their own in different atmospheres. Like us, I'd assume. I guess we are simply lacking in cases of Kryptonians having children with humans."

Kara sighed, "So the blood might have fused with the human DNA and created a half human half Kryptonian? As if Lena was a newborn and therefore half Kryptonian and half human?" She questioned, looking at Lena who seemed to be deep in thought.

"That would be my guess." Clark responded with a nod.

"It doesn't explain how she knows Kryptonian."

Lena finally spoke. "Can you two stop speaking as if I weren't standing right here?" She asked angrily. Taking a deep breath she continued a moment later. "Perhaps I have different powers because I'm also human. Maybe it was my human genes that altered the powers I have."

Both Kryptonians shrugged. 

"Great. So we know nothing for sure." She let out, defeated. Kara immediately walked up to her and placed her hand on her upper arm giving her a reassuring smile. 

Kara and Clark continued to do research but this time focused on Lena's powers.

"I think..." Kara whispered. "Look." She said nudging Clark. "This species seems to have similar characteristics to humans."

Clark nodded. "Is there any case of a Kryptonian having a child with one of them?"

They found data about a Kryptonian man. A scientist that had decided to leave Krypton and live in that world instead. Eventually, he looked to have children. However, he did not give birth in the normal way, by Earth standards. Their DNA had been combined with an added strand. Three people.

"What is it?" Lena asked them as they focused on reading, losing themselves in the information.

"That's it." She whispered, shocked. Reading through the information.

Clark sighed. "That can't possibly be it. Can it?" He looked uneasy as his eyes met Kara's. Looking at Lena a moment later.

"Can one of you two tell me what you found?"

Kara looked at Clark for help but he seemed to be letting her deal with this on her own. "We have good news. And- not bad but also not good news."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Kara, just tell me."

"You don't have our powers."

Lena seemed confused. "What do you mean? You've seen them, Kara."

"It's your mind."

The CEO raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. Clearly waiting for an explanation.

"You have telekinetic powers."

Lena blinked as she stared at her. "But I flew."

Kara shrugged. "Your DNA. We got your test results for your blood but only for the species. We haven't looked at the DNA strand yet but... Lillian might have found out about this and... Maybe when Hank came here and stole files from the fortress."

"Kara." Lena let out, stopping her rambling.

"Lillian might have added two new strands of DNA to yours."

"It's only a guess." Clark added. Trying his best to help in some way.

"The powers. It would explain you knowing Kryptonian."

Lena was silent, much to her surprise. She had predicted countless questions but found only silence. Her friend was simply staring off into nothing, lost in thought and looking even paler than usual. A few seconds passed in silence until she spoke again. "Can we go back now?"

Kara nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will explain the powers.


	28. Telekinetic

Once they got back to the DEO, she made her way to her room. Or the room she was assigned. For a moment Lena wished that she could simply go back to her apartment but she knew this was for the best. At least here the walls had lead on them and her senses weren't as overwhelmed.

She spent most of the following two days in that room, not wanting to interact with anyone.

Kara tried to keep her company but she gave up after Lena yelled and started crying, telling the blonde to leave her alone. Part of her still wishes she hadn't done as she asked but she really needed some time on her own.

At the end of the second day Kara knocked on the door. "I brought you food. Your favorite." She announced from the other side, waiting for authorization to enter.

Lena sighed and told her to come in. Which she did and it quickly became obvious how tense things still were between them.

They sat in silence. Lena focused on eating, sitting on her bed with her back against the wall. Kara sat on the floor, her back against that wall, on the other side of the room, which wasn't too far from her as the space was quite small.

"Do you want to know what we found out this past couple of days? Also, Clark and I have read all the information we brought from the fortress." Kara finally asked, avoiding looking at her.

Lena considered it for a second and despite the fear of knowing she could never pass up on information. Especially when it came to this. "Yes."

"We have the results of the DNA test. Lillian used my blood to change yours, creating a new Kryptonian strand. Then she used her own DNA to stabilize it. Or that's our guess. We think she might have experimented before and found that it was necessary to add another human to the mix."

Lena took in that information, thinking of the implications. "So I'm finally related to her?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

"In a way. Although my DNA isn't recognizable, my blood seems to have changed yours, hers is there though." 

The brunette laughed, finding the situation funnier than she should have. Noticing the blonde was staring with a confused look on her face she made herself stop to explain.

"Lillian never acted like my mother. Lex was always her favorite because he was her biologic child. I was only a reminder of Lionel's infidelity. And now..." She sighed, tears forming in her eyes. "I would have loved this as a child. The possibility to be a true Luthor and be treated like Lex seemed appealing back then."

"I happen to think you are the best Luthor. With or without Lillian's DNA." Her friend informed her with a kind smile.

"Thank you, Kara."

There was yet another moment of silence between them.

"Your brain was altered by what she did. You developed telekinetic habilities. Or so we think. The same thing happened to those kids. They could replicate Kryptonian powers but they didn't necessarily have them. The only powers they seemed to have naturally was healing and super strength. I think that makes sense. Remember how you sometimes say things still hurt when you're distracted and fall? I think that's why. You're not controlling it with your brain so you start losing your flight and then you don't think about being invulnerable so you get hurt."

She took a minute to think and it did explain some things. "Is that why doing it your way didn't help? The whole just trust your body and do the math? It really is hard when I'm not forcing myself to fly." Lena admitted. "What about the hearing and sight?"

Kara shrugged. "Those are difficult to control. Maybe since you have to use them anyways sometimes you accidentally tap into the Kryptonian version?"

The brunette nodded. "So I assume somehow the telekinetic powers don't just give me the ability to control these powers. Can I access your mind?"

Her friend hesitated but nodded shyly. "I think so. The kids seemed to be able to learn languages by touch. You were clearly overwhelmed when you touched me and must have accidentally used that power..."

"I see." She sighed. "What about the flashes?"

"I don't know what those were but our guess is... Memories. Do you remember anything from them?"

Lena thought about it for a second before looking down. "I- vaguely remember stars but that's normal right? They were distant. Like our stars. And then- most of it was too fast and vague but I remember everything being red. I don't know why but everything I saw had a red tint to it."

"Krypton." Her friend whispered.

"Do you think?"

Kara nodded. "I think you might have tapped into my memories when we touched."

Lena stared at her own hands, it was a lot to process. 

"Can we stop it?" She finally said.

"It's in your DNA. I-" her friend sighed. "I don't think so but I'm going to see Lillian right now. I'll try my best to find out what she knows about a way to reverse this."

The brunette simply nodded, her eyes following her friend as she got up and walked to the door. Turning around to look at her before stepping out.

 

\- - - - - -

 

There was another knock on the door moments later.

"Come in."

She had not expected Clark, of all people to be standing in her room.

"I think we need to talk."

Lena took a deep breath, trying to go into business mode. "Go on then, Mr. Kent."

Clark looked annoyed at her cold response but didn't call it out. Instead, he walked up to near where she was and stood there, hands on his hips as if making the Supers pose. "I know we started off on the wrong foot and I will admit I am partially to blame."

She immediately raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Partially? You judged me because of my family. Not only that but you assumed that I was guilty because I was unfortunate enough to end up with the Luthors. Despite all my efforts to do good."

He stared at her and let out a breath, looking slightly defeated. "Look, Lex was my best friend as you know. He and I were inseparable until he found out who- what I was. In that moment he planned my murder. Despite everything we had gone through, all the years of friendship, he betrayed me. My best friend." He sighed taking a step towards her but not moving any further. "When you moved to National City, where Supergirl was, I couldn't keep myself from being suspicious of you. You have to understand my concern."

"I'm not Lex." She argued.

"I know that now. I finally see what Kara sees. She- told me all about what you've done. What you want to do. The direction you are taking with L-Corp. I didn't know that. Or didn't want to see it. All I could see was a Luthor with the resources and intelligence to take either one of us out if you wanted to. We both know that, Miss Luthor."

She didn't deny it.

"You and Kara got closer. Became best friends even and it hit too close to home. I kept thinking back to Lex and I. Which wasn't fair to you or Kara. Neither of you is us. It doesn't mean you'll make the same mistakes. I know that. It just took me some time to accept it."

"And now?"

Clark smiled. It was a small yet bright smile and Lena found herself relaxing. "If Kara trusts you as much as she does then I would be a fool not to give you a chance."

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Well- Thank you. Mr. Kent."

"Call me Clark."

Lena offered a polite smile. "Only if you call me Lena."

"You got yourself a deal."

In that moment the other Super walked into the room, looking slightly angered.

"What's wrong?" Both of them asked at the same time, glancing at each other before looking back at Kara.

"She's so- how dare she? Why would-" she said as she passed back and forward.

"I'm guessing your conversation with my mother did not go well."

"She's so evil, Lena." She whined in frustration.

"Sounds like her." Lena confirmed with a nod.

The blonde sat down on the bed and let herself gently fall backward. "I even begged for a cure, Lena, begged. And nothing. She told me that her dear son, Lex, hadn't got around to make one." She complained, mocking Lillian with a high pitched voice.

Clark seemed both concerned and amused by the situation.

"I'm not surprised that this all comes back to him. It always does." She admits, glancing at Clark who seemed hurt but in agreement.

"You mentioned Lex told you about my identity. Did he ever mention anything like this?" Clark questioned.

Lena shook her head. "He never mentioned your identity directly to me. Lex had files. On you and on Krypton. Granted the Krypton one is quite lacking. I could look for something like this but I've read through all of his research I have access to and never came across anything of sorts."

Kara sat down beside her as she spoke, listening attentively. "We already looked through the Cadmus files and there's nothing there. Do you think she destroyed it?"

She considered it before shrugging. "Maybe. It would make sense if she doesn't want a cure to be found. Or perhaps there was never one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this explain Lena's powers a bit better? I hope so.


	29. Practice

Lena kept up with L-Corp through Jess and Skype calls with investors. Things weren't exactly ideal but she couldn't complain too much. It had only been a week since her mother had fought Supergirl and Lena knew it would take a while for things to get better. All things considered, her company wasn't doing horribly. 

She could thank Kara and Clark for that as they both made sure to clear up her name. Kara wrote an article where she interviewed Superman and herself as Supergirl, letting the world know Lena hadn't been the one behind the attack on Supergirl. Apparently, having both Supers on her side was enough to make sure her company's stocks didn't crash.

Things weren't great between her and Kara, most of the time there was an awkward tension to their interactions and Lena didn't think it was entirely her fault. Something had clearly happened because Kara was acting strange around her. Of course, it could have just been the fact her mother had been living in her body. She wasn't sure but it was awful.

Not that she had forgotten all about what had happened. She was definitely still hurt by Kara's actions. But she didn't see a reason for her to be so tense around her.

Lena had yet to read the interview that had helped her save the company, she couldn't bring herself to do so. Although Jess had told her it was all positive and Lena hadn't expected any less. Even from Clark who was surprisingly positive. Although Lena wondered if that was just a quality all Kryptonians have. To be helpful and caring. Of course, he didn't quite reach Kara's level of positivity but it was enough to make her wonder why Lex had been his friend. Best friend. Her brother was great to her, before all the murder attempts, but he was not exactly someone she could call positive.

She started with Clark's interview on her and it was all positive and formal. Leaving room for future doubt on her part. Letting the world know that so far she had done nothing wrong. Simple but effective. She didn't expect him to do more than that anyway. Then came Kara's. 

Her best friend didn't shy away from complimenting her. Speaking of all the times Lena had saved her or others. Of how much of a hero she was and "all without powers" as she made sure to announce. Of course, that wasn't true anymore. By the end of Supergirl's interview, Lena felt much better. She didn't know if it was because that would surely help her win over people or because Kara had said so many nice things about her. Perhaps both.

If she weren't still hurt about what happened then this would only contribute to her crush on the blonde.

Oh, who was she kidding? It did contribute to it.

"God, Lena, how pathetic can you be?" She grunted, closing CatCo and placing it on the table before getting up. It was time to practice and she was both excited and annoyed. Things were getting easier but she still had a long way to go.

Alex was waiting for her in the practice room, arms crossed and with what Lena started to call Alex's poker face. She looked intimidating and Lena had to admit that she could be but deep down she was soft. Not that she would make the mistake of saying such thing out loud. She had no doubt that Alex would react negatively to that very accurate assumption.

"What are we practicing today?" She questioned, looking around the room.

"I thought we could test your invulnerability."

She raised her eyebrows at the agent. "Are you sure? I think my flight can still use some work."

Lena wasn't scared. No. She absolutely was not. But she was smart enough to know that meant pain and, although she could be reckless, she did not like to feel pain at all.

The older brunette raised her eyebrows teasingly. "Are you scared?"

"No. Of course not. I just- forget it. What are we doing?" She asked trying to be brave. Or seem like it.

"I thought we would start small. I know things cause you pain and can even wound you, even if you heal quickly. So you will have to try and block it."

"Right. I'll just- do that. Easy." She nodded, trying to find a secure stance so she didn't end up falling at whatever Alex did.

The short haired woman made her way to a table that she had just noticed was filled with weapons. Not the most reassuring thing. It had only been a week and she still thought of weapons as something that could kill her.

"I'm not going to shoot you yet, relax. We'll start with the basics. First, you need to learn how to use your power and we both know from all the flight falls that you don't know how to yet."

Lena rolled her eyes. Well, it's not like it was such an easy thing to do.

Alex grabbed a ball. Oh, that's easy. And next thing she knew the older woman had thrown it right at her face. Which Lena didn't realize until it hit her, causing her to fall backward out of surprise.

"Really?" Alex asked, mocking her with a smirk.

"That's not- I wasn't exactly prepared." Lena said throwing the ball back but making sure to mind her strength.

The taller woman caught it easily, much to her annoyance. "Did it hurt?"

She scoffed. "No. I felt it but it didn't hurt. It was more like a slight bump."

"Then we can use something else." Alex announced and Lena was already annoyed at whatever she would throw next.

She held out a paintball gun, smiling mischievously. 

"No. No way. Not that."

"Afraid of getting dirty?" Alex teased, aiming the gun at her body.

Lena rolled her eyes yet again, crossing her arms. "I think we both know I'm not and so does Kara." She teased back.

Not a second later she was shot in the ribs by Alex. She was about to complain but the moment she opened her mouth Alex spoke. "You know you deserved that."

Fair enough.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes." She admitted, annoyed. "It's not like I got a warning so I could prepare myself."

"How badly did it hurt?"

Lena thought about it for a second before responding, "Not much. Definitely not nearly enough as it should have."

"Okay. This time block it. I'll count to three." Alex aimed the gun again and started counting. "One. Two. Three."

She tried her hardest to focus on protecting herself and although the ball of paint hit her and she found herself covered in it, Lena didn't really feel pain.

"I didn't feel that." She stated looking down at herself before smiling.

"Let's do it again." Alex announced excitingly. She seemed to enjoy this way too much, just like Jeremy said she did with Kara. Lena briefly thought about how Kara went through this too. She imagined this was Alex's way of bonding with both of them. Or maybe not. That was probably wishful thinking.

Two hours later they walked out of the room. Lena wasn't physically tired but she definitely felt like it had been longer than two hours. Using her mind for this was tiring. Maybe because she didn't know how to control it yet. It was more like forcing her powers to work than anything else.

While they had been practicing Kara had been at work but it seemed she had just arrived. Lena was walking with Alex, the older Danvers teasing her still when Kara walked up to them. 

"How did it go?" She questioned, smiling.

"Nice to see you too, Supergirl." Lena responded with raised eyebrows. She could tell Alex was amused by her response.

"She's worse than you were. At least you didn't feel pain." Alex responded motioning towards Lena's paint covered body.

"Paintball gun? I remember Eliza yelling at us for that one." Kara said with a smile before turning to her. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt too bad."

"I'm going to call Maggie. You two- talk. Or whatever." Alex said as she walked away motioning vaguely at them both.

Lena furrowed her eyebrows unsure of what all that was but shrugged it off. Turning to an awkward Kara she spoke again. "I read your interview. Thanks for the help."

"I only said the truth." Kara stated with a smile and a nod.

"Still, you didn't have to do that and you did. Thank you."

"You're my best friend, Lena. I will always be there for you."

Lena wished that was true but it was difficult to trust those words when Kara hadn't been there after what happened between them. She looked away from the blonde, nodding slightly. "Yeah." 

Things felt tense again and this time it was her fault but she didn't feel guilty. She felt sad. Taking a deep breath she spoke once more. "I should go. Take a shower.",

"Okay. I'll- see you later?"

Lena could only bring herself to hum in agreement.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Kara hated that things were back to how they had been before. Awkward and tense. She understood why that was, Lena didn't have her memories of how Kara had believed her, protected her even. She didn't even know that Kara had feelings for her.

Not that it mattered anyway. After her confession, Lena had been awfully quiet and shocked so Kara took it as her feelings not being mutual.

She was trying her best to deal with the heartbreaking feeling of her revelation all while Lena dealt with her new powers. It wasn't easy. She just wanted to explain things again so they would be in a better place but that meant bring rejected. Again.

The blonde wasn't sure she could deal with that.

But how was she supposed to help her best friend when there was so much tension between them? Lena barely allowed her to touch her. And Kara stopped herself from doing so too most of the time.

Was it selfish to protect her heart as her best friend suffered? Was she being selfish again? Kara sighed, taking off flying. She couldn't stay in there any longer. She needed to fly and yell. Maybe even cry. She needed to finally let go of all these things she was holding inside.

All those selfish feelings and the guilt that came with everything.

It was all her fault, Kara realised. Everything. From the very start, it had been her fault.

She was the one who seduced her best friend. Ignoring her afterwards because she couldn't deal with accepting herself. She had been the one that made things even more awkward by coming out as Supergirl but not admitting to her feelings. Then she fell for Lillian's plan and provided her with blood. And that's why Lena was now suffering. She caused that. Maybe not directly but she was still to blame.

Kara flew as high as she could without reaching space. She wanted to be isolated. To stop hearing everything. Stop having to go save this or that person. She wanted silence for once. Just for a while.

She allowed herself to cry. As hard as she had when Kara found herself on a foreign planet with powers right after losing everything.

As the tears fell from her eyes the Super started to feel better. Not that she was doing as well as she wished but there was some sort of relief.

"Okay, Kara, you know what needs to be done." She told herself wiping away the tears and taking a deep breath.

Maybe Lena didn't like her and that was fine but she would be there.

The youngest Luthor had lost far too many people and she knew what that was like. Kara wouldn't wish it on anyone. Less of all the woman she loved. If she could be there for her then she would stand by her side. No matter what. In whatever capacity.

Landing at the DEO she walked towards Alex. She wanted an update on how Lena was doing. 

"As well as you'd expect. She's struggling with accessing her powers. I think she's overthinking it. Lena needs to relax." Her sister stated with a shrug.

They spoke for a while, Clark joining the conversation moments later. All of them planning the best course of action. They wanted to help Lena the best way they could, even Clark.

Half an hour later she found herself standing outside the door of her best friend's room.

Kara took a moment to gather herself and knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked a few more times and was still met with silence. Thinking her friend was likely elsewhere she opened the door, intending on waiting for her inside.

Not a moment later, as she sat on the bed, Lena walked out of the bathroom with a towel around her body. Kara felt her cheeks heat up and mouth open slightly as she was surprised by this. 

Lena seemed as shocked as she was and almost dropped the towel, catching it right before flashing her. 

"What are you doing here?"

The blonde tried to come up with a reply but it seemed her mouth did not want to cooperate with her. 

"Can you- just turn around, Kara." Lena said, rolling her eyes and motioning for her to do so. Which she did, allowing herself to catch her breath as she was staring at the door, very much aware of her naked friend behind her. 

"Why are you here?" The brunette asked again. Kara was barely even aware of what she had said because her hearing seemed to be focused on the noise the fabric of her clothing made against her skin.

"I- I thought maybe we could- have a games night." She let out, barely managing to speak.

"A games night?"

Kara hummed.

Lena moved to stand in front of her. Fully clothed now. Though it barely helped since she was still unbelievably attractive.

"Here at the DEO?"

Kara shook her head. "My place. I haven't mentioned it to J'onn or Alex or Clark. Anyone really. But I'm sure I could convince them. I'll just use the puppy face."

Lena smiled and oh Rao, was it possible to melt at such sight? "I have no doubt that puppy face could convince the coldest hearted to play along." She ran her fingers through her hair and Kara had a hard time stopping herself from thinking of doing the same. "I'm afraid it might get too- overwhelming for me."

Kara frowned. She hadn't thought about that. "I can fly you right over if that happens." She offered.

Lena chuckled, sitting beside her on the bed but leaving far too much space between them. "So can I, Kara."

"Right. You can fly now."

Her friend nodded, looking away from her. "I can."

"We think you need to have some fun, Lena." Kara said. "I know things got crazy but you can't keep locking yourself in this room."

Lena raised an eyebrow as she looked back at her. "I believe my mistake was not locking myself in it, actually."

Kara let out a laugh. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine." The brunette smiled before bowing her head down to stare at the floor. Kara would swear she heard her whisper, "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Will you come? I'll even get your favorite healthy food."

Lena shrugged. "I don't think there's much of a point in being healthy anymore, is there? Pizza and potstickers?" 

Kara smiled as widely as possible. "Does this mean...?"

"Yes, Kara. I'll go to game night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so friendly reminder Kara might think that Lena does not feel the same way because when she confessed her feelings she simply stared at her.


	30. Game night

Kara was hoping this was the right decision. All she wanted was to help Lena. Who had secluded herself at the DEO, barely interacting with anyone at all. That couldn't be good for her, especially when dealing with everything that happened and her newly acquired powers.

For some reason, it kept bothering Kara. The whole thing kept making her feel split about it. She really does feel bad for her friend. Knowing how badly she is struggling with it all. How it is affecting her negatively. But Lena is like her. In some way.

Lena might even get to learn about Krypton the way nobody else has been able to. Even Clark. She might get to talk about her home with her best friend.

Part of her felt incredibly guilty for thinking this way. It was awful. Lena was in pain. She was suffering and yet thoughts of sharing her homeworld with Lena caused her to smile. Thoughts of being able to hug Lena as tightly as she could make her feel a warmth inside.

Kara had thought that caring for Lena, loving her, was wrong. It was against Krypton. That they would never be a good match. That Mon-El was the best match for her. Yet, despite the fact Lena was still a woman, her new biology made them compatible in a way that should be impossible considering her world was gone.

She was sitting around at her apartment, waiting for her friends to arrive at their games night. They all needed it. Considering how hard everyone had been working lately. But her priority for that night was Lena. Kara could only hope she would get to relax and have some fun.

The doorbell rang and Kara rushed to the door, opening it immediately and smiling widely as she saw her sister and Maggie walking in while carrying six boxes of pizza.

"Are we the first ones here?" Her sister asked, curiously looking around the apartment.

"You are. Why?"

"Nothing. Lena left before we did. I thought she might be here already."

"Do you think something happened? I should go looking for her." Kara blurted out, her eyes widening in panic.

Maggie smiled, raising a teasing eyebrow at Alex who placed a hand on Kara's shoulder. "Relax. I'm sure she's fine. Lena might have gone home to change. She has been using the same five outfits for a while now." Her sister was trying to lighten up the situation but Kara was still nervous. What if something had happened again? What if she was hurting?

She must have been looking stressed still because Alex lead her to the couch and sat her down. "Kara, she's going to be alright."

"You don't know that, Alex. She- I didn't see what happened even while it was happening."

"That's not your fault. You know that, right?"

Kara nodded, looking at her fidgeting hands. "She's my best friend. I should have been able to tell it wasn't her."

"None of us were able to tell. You can't place that weight on yourself."

"You guys don't know her the way that I do. I- she's my best friend. Lena is- I love her, Alex. And I couldn't tell she was replaced."

If Alex was shocked by Kara's admittance she didn't show it. Maybe she had assumed she loved Lena when she has admitted to being interested in Lena. "You two were in a difficult situation. It's understandable that you wouldn't be able to tell, Kara."

Her sister had placed her arm around her shoulders and Kara felt slightly better. She knew Alex was right, she did. However it was difficult to accept all the fault was on Lillian, not her.

Maggie was in the kitchen when someone knocked on the door. She moved to open it as both Alex and she got up, moving to set up the games in the living room.

"Can I help?"

Kara was surprised by the voice coming from behind her. She hadn't noticed it was Lena who had arrived, accompanied by both James and Winn.

"Here. Set this up." Alex answered instead, looking between the two women who seemed to be busy staring at each other. She handed the box to Lena who blinked before fully holding it and moving.

Her sister quickly disappeared into the kitchen, starting a conversation with the others.

"I was worried." Kara blurted out in a whisper. She didn't allow herself to think about how meaningful that could sound.

Lena bowed her head, looking almost embarrassed by it. "Why?" She whispered back, not meeting Kara's eyes.

"I thought... It's silly but I was worried something else had happened to you."

She finally looked up at her and Kara had to refrain herself from looking away from her intense gaze. "I'm okay. I went to L-Corp and to my apartment before I came here."

"Oh. Sorry. I-"

"It's fine. I understand." Lena smiled briefly but it wasn't like her usual smiles. It was contained. Like she wouldn't allow herself to fully smile at her.

Kara helped Lena set up the trivia game which didn't take long at all. Once they did their friends joined them in the living room, bringing the food and drinks with them. Kara hadn't even noticed that someone had brought potstickers. She almost wanted to laugh at how taken by Lena she was that she hadn't noticed her favorite food.

"Couple versus partners in crime versus best friends?" Winn asked, as they sat down.

Kara and Lena eyed each other. She didn't want to assume that her friend would want to be her partner during game night. Considering their relationship had been stranded at best. To her surprise, her friend gave her a small smile before turning to Winn. "Sounds fair to me."

"Let the games begin." Winn said loudly before being elbowed by Kara and remembering how Lena still couldn't control her hearing.

They played for hours, laughing and fighting about who was cheating. Lena had been in a surprisingly good mood as she even saw her laugh a few times. Something that hadn't really happened since before she messed up their relationship, as far as she knows.

She and Lena easily won the trivia game. Although neither were particularly good in pop culture. Although Lena could easily rival with Winn when it came to geeky knowledge. Kara was impressed and maybe even more attracted to her best friend.

By the end of the night, there was no more food left, mostly because of herself and Lena who could finally match her eating habits.

Alex and Maggie were the first to leave, excusing themselves after giving each other a look that said way more than she wanted to know. Next were James and Winn who were nearly falling asleep in the living room until Kara just told them to go home. Which left Lena and herself.

They lingered for a while. Everyone had helped clean up so there wasn't really anything to do. No excuses for Lena to stay just a little longer. Kara considered making a mess just so they could spend a few more minutes together.

"I heard what you said."

Kara tilted her head and she stared at her friend. "What?"

"What happened to me isn't your fault. The only person to blame is my mother. She's the one who did this to me." Lena was fidgeting and Kara wanted to hold her hands to make her feel better but she didn't.

"You heard that?"

"I didn't mean to but I was- nervous to come here and my hearing... Improved."

Kara suddenly realized just how revealing that conversation had been and froze, staring at Lena. "I- how much did you hear?"

"Just you talking about how you should have known. Nothing personal, don't worry. Kara, I don't blame you. You must know that." Lena stated, shrugging as if to make the conversation more casual.

The Kryptonian nodded, feeling slightly better and definitely more relaxed than before. She had already been rejected once and wasn't looking forward to doing it again.

"I should go." Lena announced, moving towards the door. "Thanks for tonight. I actually had fun."

Before she could stop herself Kara spoke again. "Do you think we'll be alright?"

The brunette turned her head slightly to look at her as she stood there, holding the open door to Kara's apartment. After a few moments of silence, she finally nodded, "I think all we need is time." was all she said before moving again.

Just like that Kara found herself smiling widely at her best friend as she watched her walked out of her apartment and for the first time in the last couple of months she truly believed that things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short but it's a step forward in their relationship so hopefully you guys appreciate it.


	31. New friends

Lena had been doing better lately. After the game night, she found herself more relaxed. It wasn't as if everything was back to normal, actually, that was unlikely to ever happen, but she wasn't feeling so alone. So isolated and scared. Because turns out she might be able to get along with these people and maybe she wouldn't have to go through things on her own.

Of course, logically she knew she had Kara but things had been different and they were still awkward around each other even if they were slowly moving forward. However, it was nice to have other people she could spend time with and relax. Sure, she also had Jess but maybe it wouldn't be smart to mix business with friendship. Maybe Jess was only friendly because she was her boss. Maybe she wouldn't be interested in spending time with her outside of work and as a friend.

Either way, Lena found herself speaking with Alex more and more often as she helped her practice. Same could be said about Winn who would occasionally do tests on her to track her progress and change. Sometimes the conversation would be about what they were doing, other times about random subjects and occasionally about nerdy things such as science and technology. They all got along surprisingly well and there had been a few times when she and Alex teamed up to give Winn a hard time. Sometimes Maggie would join them after work as she went to the DEO to pick Alex up and that usually included some teasing as the Latina woman was ruthless towards all of them. All in a friendly manner much to her amusement.

Sometimes she missed Kara. They would still see each other around the DEO but their conversations weren't exactly the same as before. If she was being honest Lena was currently more comfortable around Kara's friends. It wasn't as if any of them truly compared to Kara. She was still her best friend and Lena loved her. But that was the problem. Her feelings made everything so much more complicated and awkward.

Lena wasn't the most experienced person. Especially when it came to sexual situations. Most of her years since she had started to be interested in people in a romantic or sexual way had been spent working up to and then in a relationship with Jack. So she hadn't really gone around experiencing much. He hadn't been the only person Lena had been with. There had also been some other situations in college but nothing serious. 

However, Lena is only 24. Nearing 25 now, but still. She's young and most of these adult years were spent with Jack and then trying to fix her company. There's been no time to really have one night stands. Even if she wanted those. So it was strange to think she had one with her best friend but what made it even worse were those feelings. Those annoying feelings that seemed to not have any interest in disappearing.

It made everything even more confusing. The sex and the feeling and the friendship. It was a mess. How was she supposed to deal with it all? She barely even knew anything about any of those subjects. She had only been in one serious relationship, wasn't all that experienced sexually and it's not like she ever really had real friends. So mixing it all together into one situation involving who was likely the most important person in her life was too much.

Lena was packing her things as she had decided it was time to go back to her apartment. The DEO had released footage and documentation, with a lot of redacted information as expected, about what had happened. All of it had been given to CatCo that had proceeded to place her in their cover and written an article on Lena, Lillian, and Cadmus. As well as posting the footage to their website. She wasn't surprised to see Kara and James had been in charge of it.

This information was only released because Lillian was being charged for her crimes and this was some of the evidence made public which was very helpful to help clean her image. Most of the information regarding everything her mother had done was still kept a secret. Even Lena hadn't been given access to most of it. Although she had tried to get Jeremiah to tell her some things. They had actually bonded, for what seemed to be the second time, and seemed to get along.

It didn't take long for the media to spread the information around. That paired with Superman and Supergirl defending her had helped ease most people and some were even calling her a hero. Especially since the article mentioned Lena's real role on several other occasions. It seems like most aliens were surprisingly accepting of her after finding out she had gone out of her way to save them. Lena might have cried when she looked through all the support she was getting. Not even bothered by those that still thought she was just another Luthor. Never in her life did she have so many people on her side and that was more than enough.

She was doing better at controlling her powers. She still had her bad moments but for the most part, she could control it to the point of not being overwhelmed by her senses. Much of it was thanks to the glasses she now wore everywhere. Those had become her new best friends. She smiled as she thought about how they would be her lifesavers, touching the frames.

"Are you really going back to your apartment?"

Lena nodded, closing her bag before turning around to face her best friend. "I think it's time. I've been here for over a month, Kara. And I can control my powers better now."

"I'm just worried. I know things can get too overwhelming."

If there was one person that would understand was Kara but she didn't need her to be overprotective. Sometimes she just wanted her to trust she can handle herself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle it. And if I find myself struggling then I guess I'll just have to give the local Super a call." 

"I'm sure she will be there in a second."

"I wouldn't expect anything else."

Kara smiled brightly at her, things almost felt normal for a moment. Until she noticed that warm feeling inside of her. Why couldn't she just move on from her? It would make things so much easier.

"Do you want some help?"

Lena shook her head. "I only have this bag."

They stood there staring at each other, the awkwardness growing as time went by.

"Are you going back to work?"

"Yes. I've already been away for far too long. Jess has been doing wonderfully but I'm sure she needs a break."

"At least now I won't have to bring you food because you forgot that is necessary. Considering you finally eat as much as I do."

"I don't think I understood your love for food until I got these powers. Now I just can't help but indulge."

Kara chuckled. "Do you want to have lunch Monday? You can tell me about your first morning back."

Lena nodded, moving towards the door as she carried the bag as easily as if it were empty. "I was going to check in with Alex and Winn but you should join us."

There were a few seconds of silence between them although Lena could hear Kara following her as she walked towards the exit. "Sounds great. I'll be there."

Alex walked up to them as soon as Kara finished talking, letting Lena know her driver was waiting up front. Since they had forbidden her from flying or using her powers in general unless it was an emergency. Which apparently only included threats to her life. 

Lena still found it hilarious that the DEO was in the middle of National City in a normal building not at all concealed from anyone else. So much so that it wasn't strange to have her driver picking her up there.

She was about to turn around and walk out when Alex hugged her. They had become friends, considering they had spent a few hours every day for nearly a month around each other but she was still surprised when someone did something like that. She wasn't used to it at all. The only other person that ever did that so naturally was Kara and she was just the kindest person ever.

The hug hadn't been happening for more than a second before a new person was hugging them both. "Group hug." Winn yelled out causing Lena to let out a laugh and Alex to grunt, though she knew the older woman cared for Winn. "Come on Kara."

Lena was surprised by this point Kara had yet to take advantage and join in but didn't want to overthink so she decided to focus on how warm, accepted and loved she felt. For the first time in her life. That only increased when Kara finally joined their hug.

"Okay, I think that's more than enough." Alex said pulling away. Trying to look tough and cold though they all know she is truly a softy on the inside.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Her first morning back had gone according to what she had expected. Jess had been doing a good job and Lena had been doing anything she could remotely but some of her board and investors were still eager to meet with her and express their concerns regarding her absence. Instead, she called a meeting to speak to all members of her board at once and assure them that she was back and wouldn't be going anywhere. After two hours that had been filled with questions they seemed satisfied and she was able to catch a break. After that, she met with a couple of investors and said the same thing she had told her board. Lena was back.

Jess had done an amazing job and Lena was considering promoting her. Of course, she was likely the best secretary she would ever be able to have but she was wasting her potential there and she wouldn't do that out of selfishness. Without letting her know Lena started looking into possible positions within the company.

Soon enough it was time for lunch and she quickly made her way out of the building. Lena was actually looking forward to seeing her friends. That was still a new concept. Her having multiple people she could consider her friends. Hopefully, they felt the same way.

Walking into the restaurant she saw them already sitting at the table and smiled, none of them noticing she had arrived yet. They seemed to be deep in a conversation about something.

Approaching the table Lena nearly laughed at the first thing she heard. "Star Wars is the best franchise." Winn argued, nearly whining.

Alex shook her head, looking deeply offended, "I'm sorry but what about Indiana Jones?" 

Both Kara, Winn and now Lena stared at her in surprise.

"Alex Danvers truly is a nerd that likes to beat people up." She found herself saying amused by the situation, sitting down beside Winn and in front of Kara.

"Shut up, Luthor." Alex spat out as she rolled her eyes.

Lena simply smiled, knowing the older Danvers wasn't using her last name in a hurtful manner.

"I think Harry Potter is the best." Kara spoke a moment later with a shrug.

"That's because they have powers." Winn argued in a whisper, pointing at Kara.

"It's magic. Besides Jedis also have powers."

Lena nodded. "She has a point." She told him. "I do have to agree with Winn though. Star Wars is by far the best franchise."

Winn lit up as she agreed with him, raising his hand to high-five her, which she gladly did.

"I found my new best friend. Kara, you've officially been demoted."

Kara pouted, causing her to smile at the sight.

The rest of lunch was spent with them all speaking as if they had known each other for years and Lena had never felt so at ease. So much so that she forgot all about work.

"Fuck. I have to go." She blurted out after checking her phone that had been on silence. "I'm so late. I- this is on me. Put it on my tab. I really have to go." She ranted, rushing to get up and nearly run out.

She immediately called Jess, "I completely lost track of time." 

"I already called everyone. I delayed all your meetings so you're technically on time. Your first meeting is in fifteen minutes."

Lena smiled. "What would I do without you?"

"You're welcome, Miss Luthor."

"Jess, please call me Lena."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that Lena having friends?


	32. Not bad

Kara had finally started to get more serious work as a reporter. Not to Clark's level but she was slowly getting there. Quite slowly. It had only been a year since she had become a journalist though so it wasn't surprising that she wasn't where she would like to be yet.

Sometimes it was frustrating and then she reminded herself that at least she wasn't writing about trivial things nobody actually cared enough about anymore. Except for the rare occasions when she would do such thing.

It had been a while since she had been assigned something on L-Corp or Lena, after the one article related to Lillian. Which was the first and only one she ended up writing on that subject. Although, Kara had quite a lot to say about Lillian to anyone who had time and patience to deal with hours of ranting and mentioning how much better Lena deserved. Usually, it meant Alex when they were training or Winn who would simply focus extra hard on the computer in front of him.

She didn't have to miss Lena though, as they eventually started to have meals together again, just like before. Most of the times joined by Winn, Alex or James. Much to her surprise. Kara didn't complain though. That would have been possessive and rude. Also selfish. Kara was none of those things. So she was perfectly fine with her friends befriending Lena and them spending more time with her. Even if they did so during her and Lena's time together. Because they were all friends.

Suddenly Lena was a regular presence at game nights, at her movie nights with Alex, that seemed to also end up including Maggie, and at the DEO. Where she would practice her powers and do tests. Her progress was remarkable and so was her surprisingly fit body. Not as fit as Kara's but there were now abs. Bless their Kryptonian genes.

Things were so good yet so painfully bad. Everything seems to be going better than she could have ever hoped for. Kara had never imagined everyone around her had simply accepted Lena as one of their own. She never expected that to happen. Not wanting to kill her or throw her in jail? Sure. But Lena texting her friends and them sometimes hanging out without her? No. It was mind-blowing and definitely a good thing. Yet it still felt like a stab right in her chest. Because there was less time for just the two of them and okay, maybe she lied, Kara can be selfish when it comes to Lena.

Alex walks by her, laughing with Winn who is holding a tablet and pointing at it. "What's going on?" She asked them curiously.

"I thought we should compare Lena's results with other ones in the system. Yours included. To see where kryptonian mind powers in a formerly human body fall and apparently she beat Mon-El at everything. Every single thing." He sounded so proud, she couldn't help but smile along.

"But he was an actual alien."

"A weaker version of a kryptonian." Alex added, smiling cheekily at her.

"Does this mean she is at my level?"

Winn shook his head quickly, opening the door to the practice room where Lena was. Apparently fighting a block of concrete. "Bad meeting." He whispered despite the fact they all know Lena could hear it anyway.

"We think the telepathic element of the powers might make them slightly weaker than yours but not by much. However, it does have the upper hand on natural Kryptonian biology in a way. With complete control, Lena will be able to have a completely normal life if she wants that."

Winn smiled, nodding. "Besides the whole healing incredibly fast and flying. Or her powers being just there for her to access them."

Lena stopped punching and turned to look at them, bringing her hand to move strands of hair from her face and smiling. "Are we ready for the memories test?" She asked, sounding excited.

Kara had no idea what was happening but seeing her friend excited caused her to feel the same way. "What's the memories test?"

Alex began to respond to her question as Winn set up a way for them to read Lena's vitals, heartbeat rate and so on. "This seems to be the one power Lena struggles to control the most but since it is activated by touch it's very important we help her with it. So we are going to allow her to access our memories to practice."

Oh. Kara thought back to when that first happened and Lena saw flashes of Krypton. Somehow with everything going on Kara never thought to offer her mind to Lena. Then again, she wasn't sure if it would be such a good idea. Not if she found out that Kara had a hopeless crush on her. She frowned at the thought. Crush? Her feelings were so much more than that.

"Kara?" Her sister whispered, looking at her with a worried expression. Luckily both Winn and Lena were busy talking and hadn't noticed how Kara had frozen in deep thought.

"Can I watch this? It's an interesting power." She wasn't even sure why she was justifying her interest. As if they would just know why she wanted to be there. Kara didn't even truly know why herself.

Lena seemed nervous but excited to finally start working on controlling this power. Once Alex announced she could use it, her hand met Alex's arm and nothing happened. Or so it seemed to Kara who was staring at the both of them.

"Try again. Just relax, Lena." Alex spoke, nodding at her friend.

The younger brunette did as she was told and tried taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down as much as she could. Focusing completely on accessing Alex's mind, she touched her arm again.

As she was about to speak when Maggie walked into the room, causing Alex to look at her and next thing they knew Lena had her eyes closed and seemed to be deep in thought. Or in Alex's mind, Kara assumed.

"No." Lena yelled, jumping back and taking her hand away from Alex as if it had been burnt. "I did not need to see that." She mumbled, leaving Alex to stutter as she tried to comprehend what had happened. Lena kept shaking her head, looking slightly grossed out.

Maggie was smirking, walking up to her and sitting down beside Alex. "I think you unintentionally gave Lena a private tour of our intimate life."

Kara cringed at the thought, feeling bad for Lena. "Alex." She whined, moving towards Lena protectively.

"It's not my fault. Blame Maggie. She just walked in here wearing a tank top. What am I supposed to do?"

Winn, who had been stunned into silence, herself and Lena all grunted at the same time. Not wanting to hear anything about that. "Please just stop." Lena spoke out, "Control your thoughts better next time. And Maggie is definitely banned from these." She eyed the Latina woman that was still looking amused at the situation.

"Fine by me. I find the practices that include shooting things much more fun anyway."

Alex rolled her eyes, playfully hitting her fiancee.

Winn jumped up in front of Lena suddenly, smiling widely. "I think I figured it out. Well, not really but I found a way to trick you into using this power. I'm thinking intense emotions help. The first time you used it was because you were freaking out, right?"

Lena scoffed, "I wasn't freaking out."

Kara shrugged at that. "You kind of were, actually."

Her best friend smiled but nudged her playfully, faking being offended by her taking Winn's side.

"And now Alex was... Having a reaction to Maggie." At this, Maggie bowed with a cheeky smirk, clearly proud of having done that.

"So what I'm thinking is either person needs to be feeling things rather intense in order for it to work. At least right now, since you can't really control it."

Kara could see Lena go over what he said, she seemed to be in agreement that it made sense and so was her. "Okay. Does that mean we can't really practice? Because I'm not reading the mind of people who are turned on. And nobody here seems to be in distress."

"We could cause it."

Alex crossed her arms as she stared at him once he spoke the words. "You want to cause an intense feeling in someone?" She questioned, eyebrows raised.

"Nothing too bad. Just something."

Lena didn't seem as excited as before. Maybe she was nervous about what she would see related to whatever the person would be feeling if they tried that. Maybe she simply didn't want to have someone go through anything for this.

Kara moved closer to her, even if they were already only a couple steps away from each other. Her arm was nearly brushing against Lena's and she could feel the warmth radiating from her.

Just being this close to Lena made her feel so much. She wasn't even sure how she would be able to deal with all these feelings she carried around. Last time she had put them out there it hadn't really worked in her favor considering Lena had simply stared at her. But sometimes they threatened to just burst out and make themselves known. And Kara didn't think she had it in her to fight such thing for much longer.

While Alex and Winn spoke intensively about what she assumed was the situation and their possibilities Lena and her stood there, not really doing anything but staring. Kara wasn't even paying attention to anything being said, focusing too hard on her best friend and how much she wanted to just reach out and hold her hand. She hadn't even noticed that Maggie had left until minutes later. Okay, maybe seconds but they definitely felt like minutes.

Without meaning to, or at least Kara didn't mean for such thing to happen, their fingers brushed against each other and Lena shivered, closing her eyes immediately. It only lasted maybe three seconds as their fingers broke apart and they seemed to be the only ones that noticed what had just happened. Which was good because she didn't want to explain why that was. Hopefully, Lena wouldn't mention it.

"Are you okay?" Kara whispered, her hands hovering Lena but not touching her again.

Lena was staring at her hand, the one that had touched Kara's. "I'm fine." She whispered back, her cheeks pink for some reason.

Kara wanted to ask what she had seen but suddenly Alex and Winn were near them again.

The rest of the practice went well enough. Winn became the test subject as they raised his stress levels and Lena kept telling everyone what she would see. Apparently, most of it was geeky stuff which they were all incredibly glad about.

After a couple of hours, they decided to stop for the day. Or week. Lena didn't need to go into the DEO as often as she did before. She was actually doing really well and rarely had anything bad happen. Although there were quite a few complaints about how objects made for humans are far too fragile. Kara could relate to this sentiment.

It felt nice to have someone she knew that was more or less like her. Kara had found herself daydreaming of teaming up with her best friend as a crime-fighting duo. She had tried that with Mon-El but he was ridiculously useless. Even more so than the humans that worked at the DEO. But not Lena. She was incredible. Precise and dedicated. She could easily become a superhero if she wanted to and if she did then Kara would be there for her.

Her actual dreams seemed to also include Lena but unlike the ones throughout her day, these were more intimate. Not in a sexual sense. Although there had been a few times where memories of what had happened between them had made an appearance. They were, however, intimate because she could see everything she wanted in her life. She could see everything she never thought she could have. With Lena. Because Mon-El had been an alright match according to Krypton but he had never been good enough in so many ways. And she had never truly been happy with him. They just weren't meant to be. But Lena, right now she was a perfect match. Besides the whole being a woman thing but she could work with that. It wasn't as if there were a whole bunch of Kryptonians she could match with. Not that there was anymore matching anyway. Still, Lena was perfect and her dreams agreed with her opinion on this.

Her best friend was Kryptonian. Maybe not in the way she was but even when it came to DNA, she was one of them. And the only of her kind. That alone would likely make her more of a match than anyone else in the eyes of Krypton. Add being actual best friends, having saved each other countless times, Lena's personality and her intelligence and there is no way that Lena Luthor isn't technically the best match for Kara Zor-El. Especially taking into account that she is a genius who loves science and Kara was about to become the youngest member of the science guild.

"What did you see?" Kara found herself asking as they started to walk away from the room, the others having left ahead already.

Lena simply gave her a confused look.

"When we touched."

"Oh." She moved a hand through her hair, not looking at her as she continued to walk. "That night."

"What-" Kara stopped the moment she thought about how Lena had blushed. Did she mean? "That night?"

Lena hummed in response.

"Was it... Bad?"

Suddenly Lena looked up at her, looking surprised by the question. Even Kara wasn't expecting to ask that but it had simply come out before she could really stop herself.

"No. Not bad."

Kara nodded shyly. Not bad. Okay. That was... Not bad. Lena thought them sleeping together wasn't bad. Oh, Rao. Or maybe she just meant that it didn't feel as bad as seeing Alex and Maggie. Kara needed to stop wishful thinking.

"But not good?" Kara, please stop talking.

Lena looked away, looking slightly embarrassed by the question. "Kara." She whispered, playing with her own hands. "I don't think having a discussion about if sex with my best friend was bad or good is a thing we should do. Granted I don't have much experience with friendship."

Kara nodded. Looking at Lena's hands and fighting the urge to hold them. "Yeah, nevermind that."

After a few extremely tense moments of silence, Lena moved to leave the room. "I'll see you at the bar tomorrow?" she asked, stopping by the door. 

"Of course. I need to beat you at pool."

"In your dreams, Kara."


	33. Bar, pool and nachos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update. Hopefully it was worth the wait.

Kara wasn't nervous to spend time with Lena at the bar. She wasn't. Things were slowly getting better and although not everything was back to how it used to be, Lena seemed to be doing fine. So Kara was happy. That her best friend was doing better, that she had new friends, that she was able to control her new powers. Kara was happy.

Only there was still the whole I have feelings for my best friend issue. One she tried to ignore but wouldn't go away. No matter how hard she tried.

The thing is, Kara told Lena how she felt before. And all her best friend did was stare. So what was she supposed to do? Tell her again? It would only make things more awkward. Clearly, Lena did not feel the same way about her.

Kara sighed, looking at the outfits laid out on her bed. Why was she so nervous about this? And why was she overthinking her outfit? It was just a group hang out at the bar. Nothing special about it.

Only, maybe she knew that part of her was trying to be brave enough to say something. To make sure that her past actions were explained and that her best friend knew just how much she cares.

That part probably wouldn't make an appearance though.

It took her twenty minutes, even with super speed, but she was finally on her way to the bar.

Taking a deep breath Kara walked inside, telling herself that this would be a good fun night. Somehow her words didn't seem all that convincing as her thoughts were still stuck on her telling Lena about her feelings.

Maybe some alcohol would make that decision for her. It certainly would make it easier for Kara to blurt it all out if she was drunk.

Walking up to her friends she smiled, everyone was already there. Even J'onn who had agreed to spend some time with them outside of the DEO. Lately, he and M'gann had been spending most of their free time together. Kara was nothing less than supportive about that.

"Sorry I'm late."

Alex shook her head, "Superspeed and you still manage to be late."

Kara sat beside Lena, it was the only empty chair left. Almost as if it had been planned. Pouting at her sister's words until Lena chuckled. Rao, that was a nice chuckle.

"I thought you were avoiding our pool game." Lena teased, her trademark smirk appearing.

"Never." Kara retorted, faking offense.

A moment later the bartender that replaced Mon-El showed up, taking their order. She and Lena decided to try a kryptonian drink as the CEO had never had alien alcohol and apparently couldn't get drunk on regular one anymore.

"It's awful, Kara." Lena complained, sighing. "What's the point in having the best alcohol if you can't even enjoy it anymore?"

Maggie quickly offered a solution to her problem. "Alex and I would be more than happy to make sure that none of it is wasted. If you wanted to get rid of it."

Lena rolled her eyes at that. "Be my guest. My whiskey days are over."

Kara couldn't keep herself from laughing at how dramatic her friend was about it all.

Once their drinks arrived everyone had fallen back into casual conversations, taking sips of their glasses occasionally.

"It isn't horrible." Lena announced halfway through her drink.

Kara smiled back at her. "Much better than the first one I had. Mon-El got it for us and I got so drunk right away."

"I still want to see drunk Kara."

"I'm sure you'll meet her tonight."

"Good." Lena let out, smiling before taking another sip of her drink, her eyes locked on Kara's.

Winn interrupted their staring contest a moment later, "Pool competition." He announced, his words slightly slurred after the round of shots Maggie had insisted on them drinking and the drink he had just finished. "Winner gets- bragging rights."

James patted his shoulder. "Not the most amazing award, buddy."

Kara scoffed, "I don't need bragging rights. I just want to top Lena." She dismissed, downing the rest of her drink.

Somehow all eyes were now on her, wide surprised eyes. Kara didn't get why so she just shrugged it off.

"Right." J'onn said a second later.

Looking over at Lena she noticed how she was avoiding everyone's gaze and staring at the glass in her hand.

"Are we doing this or what?" Maggie asked, getting up from her seat.

An hour later the competition was down to Lena, Kara, Alex and J'onn.

"You're good." Kara announced, poking her finger into Lena's arm. "I underestimated you."

"Haven't you heard?" Lena started, raising a teasing eyebrow at her. "Never underestimate a Luthor." The moment the last word came out Lena winked and moved to the pool table, focusing on playing again.

Kara was left there, standing frozen where she had been. Lena winked at her. And Rao if it wasn't one of the most breathtaking things she had ever witnessed.

"Kara, it's your turn." Alex announced, nudging her towards the table.

Lena was posing with her pool cue near the pool table and Kara could hardly focus on anything else. She was all too aware that her heartbeat was going crazy at the moment and it didn't help that she knew Lena could hear it if she tried.

"Right." Kara nodded, positioning herself to swing the cue. "You're going down." She announced trying to sound confident.

Lena smirked, "Is that so?" She asked with a teasing tone. This was so unfair.

Kara missed. It was laughable really. How badly she did. Although, she would argue that it was all Lena's fault. She kept being too... Her. It was very distracting.

Her friend smugly managed to win their game, causing her to pout.

"You were lucky." She said scoffing. "I was distracted."

In hindsight the alcohol was likely a terrible idea because here she was, a weak mess with no filter and there Lena was, a cocky smug tease. Kara had no way of winning this. Though she wasn't even sure what about this would be a competition.

Lena rolled her eyes. "With what? There isn't much to get distracted with here."

Kara crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall. "You." She blurted out. "You're so-" she gestured vaguely towards her friend. "It's distracting."

Lena was now staring at her with wide eyes, standing way too close to her. So close that Kara kept imagining just kidding her.

Luckily none of their friends seemed to be aware of what was happening since they were focusing on Alex and J'onn's game.

"Me?" Lena finally let out, her voice barely there. If it weren't for Kara's hearing she might have missed it.

"You're so you." Drunk Kara was not the best with words apparently. "And I'm not...Rao, Lena, you're a lot."

Lena looked down at the floor, Kara could see her eyebrows furrowing, probably in confusion. "Is that-" she started and seemed to hesitate, "bad?"

Kara shook her head immediately. How could she think it was bad. "No." She responded reaching for Lena's hand but stopping when she was about to touch it.

Maybe this conversation would have been easier if they hadn't continued to drink while playing pool. Or maybe it wouldn't even be happening without the alcohol causing her to loosen up.

"It's good." She told her, finally allowing her hand to touch Lena's.

Lena immediately jumped back, her eyes showing something that Kara couldn't exactly read.

"I'm sorry. I-" Lena closed her hand, maybe she had seen something.

"What did you see?"

Lena bit her lip, avoiding looking directly at Kara. "You." She started, sighing. "I saw you. Fighting me."

Kara nodded, "That wasn't you."

Her friend nodded as well, a sad smile growing. "Why did you hesitate? You barely defended yourself, Kara."

She shrugged, it seemed obvious to her. Because she believed in Lena. Because despite being faced with what seemed like her best friend and being attacked by her Kara still believed that her best friend was good. Because she lost so much and had been hurt so many times and still Lena kept her hope alive.

Because Lena isn't her Kryptonite like Mon-El had been, she isn't her weakness. She isn't her yellow sun like Alex is, her strength. Lena is her red sun. Lena is what makes her normal. She takes her back to Krypton, to the little girl she used to be. To when she hadn't experienced loss, pain, grief. She gives her that childish hope in good and kindness. And in turn that makes her the hero people need.

"You're my best friend, Lena. I believe in you. Always." She proudly announced, fighting the tears that came with the realization of just how much Lena truly meant to her. "You're so good. I would trust you with the world."

Lena was crying, Kara noticed as she finally looked up. Seeing Lena like this was awful and she didn't hesitate to hug her friend tightly. This time not having to watch out for her strength. It was the best hug she had in a long time.

"Okay, I think you two have had enough to drink." Alex announced, walking up to them. "You're not supposed to be crying at a bar, Luthor. You're supposed to have fun."

Lena gave her a small smile and nodded, cleaning up the tears from her face. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Alex rolled her eyes. "Now come, I believe I have to kick your ass now."

Kara smiled at Lena, trying to show her support as her friend got dragged to the pool table by her sister.

She didn't pay much attention to anything else going on. Sitting near the others but her mind racing through what had happened. She knew that Lena was important to her. She also knew that she had feelings for her. And of course, Kara knew that she loved Lena, she was her best friend. But now she was wondering where that love stopped.

"Are you there?" Winn asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Sorry. I was thinking."

"I can see that." He stated.

Alex and Lena sat back down on the table, apparently, the game of pool was over and Kara had no idea who had won.

They were talking and maybe if she paid attention she could find out but her mind was still going over everything she felt and how to deal with it.

"Here." Lena's voice broke her train of thoughts, her best friend handing her some nachos over. Kara looked at her curiously making it very clear she had missed something. "Alex won. I had to buy everyone something to eat." Her friend provided. Sometimes she wondered if Lena could read her mind. Then again, if that were so they wouldn't be here right now.

"Thank you." She tried to sound as enthusiastic as she should have been but failed.

"Sorry for crying and making things awkward."

Kara's expression probably showed how offended she was by that. "Don't ever apologize for showing your emotions." She told her friend, drunkely pointing at her.

Lena simply nodded.

"Where are yours?" She asked pointing at the nachos.

The CEO shrugged.

"Have some of mine."

Lena tried to protest but Kara held a hand up, "Please." She pouted, hoping it would work.

Apparently, the whole exchange had shocked a few people because the whole table was staring at them as if Kara had performed a miracle.

Kara didn't notice but Alex turned to Maggie after a few seconds, whispering something in pure shock. "Did Kara just-?"

Maggie simply nodded.

On the other side of the table, Kara and Lena were happily sharing their nachos while talking about all sorts of random things their drunken minds came up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're getting there! Next chapter will likely be a Lena POV because I think we are all wondering what was going on in Lena's mind throughout this.


	34. Pool table conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the Lena POV of the last chapter. Not much of it is entirely new.

Lena hadn't allowed herself to spend time thinking and overanalyzing everything that happened with Kara in the last few months. It was easier this way.

She wasn't one to run from her problems, although the change to National City after what Lex did could be proof it wouldn't be uncharted territory. However, this time around it was better to push everything to the back of her mind and simply deal with the mess her mother made.

It was a lot to deal with. But she couldn't say that it was entirely surprising that her mother would do something that caused her suffering. It was after all what she did best.

At least now Lena had managed to control her powers. Well, most of them. Touching people was still tough but luckily she had never really been one for physical contact so she didn't have to change her ways to avoid it. Although now she avoiding shaking hands with businessmen. Especially after accidentally looking into the mind of one of them. Needless to say, she was grossed out by what she saw.

Going to a bar, especially an alien one did not sound ideal. She had to confess that she was slightly worried about the noise and how aliens would react to her being there but everyone was so enthusiastic and kept telling her to go and Lena couldn't bring herself to say no.

She arrived five minutes before the time they had agreed on. Always making sure not to leave anyone wanting for her. It was one of the lessons the Luthors had taught her early on. At least that one had been useful, unlike the 'all aliens deserve to die' belief they kept preaching.

"Lena. You're here." Winn said loudly and happily.

"I did say I would be."

"I know but you're not-" he stopped for a second, looking like he's searching for the best way to continue. "The most social person."

Lena smiled. He was right. She did know how to behave in social settings, had to since she was young, but she was someone who preferred solitude. Mostly because the people she usually surrounded herself with weren't the type of people she would enjoy to spend time with.

Yet here she was. Willingly frequenting a bar with a group of people she could actually call her friends. And they liked her not because of her money, influence or name. They liked her because of herself. Lena found herself smiling at that thought as she looked around at everyone who had gathered at the entrance.

"Kara must be late. We should just wait inside." Alex announced, looking at her phone.

They walked inside and Lena tensed, expecting someone to say something about her being there. Yet nothing happened. A few people looked their way but nobody seemed particularly interested in her presence.

"You don't have to worry. News travels fast around here." Maggie told her, placing an arm around her shoulder. "Everyone knows you're one of the good guys."

She would be lying if she said that this information hadn't nearly caused her to tear up. She didn't. But it was a close call. In her defense, she had never been seen as a good guy, no matter how hard she tried.

They sat at a table and started to talk. Lena lost herself in the conversation with Alex and Maggie about their wedding until she heard a familiar voice.

"Sorry I'm late."

Alex shook her head, "Superspeed and you still manage to be late."

Kara sat beside Lena. She hadn't even noticed that was the only empty chair but part of her was happy about it. Things between them were tense but Kara was still her best friend. Lena saw Kara pouting at what Alex said and chuckled, she could be adorable without even realizing it.

"I thought you were avoiding our pool game." Lena teased, her trademark smirk appearing. She enjoyed teasing her friend far more than she should.

"Never." Kara retorted, faking offense.

Since this whole alien biology thing, Lena had tried to drink to relax after a long day but had found that it didn't affect her anymore. It was unfortunate that she couldn't enjoy her whiskey the same way again. So when the bartender got to their table she was more than happy to try some alien alcohol as Kara suggested.

"It's awful, Kara." Lena complained, sighing. "What's the point in having the best alcohol if you can't even enjoy it anymore?"

Maggie quickly offered a solution to her problem. "Alex and I would be more than happy to make sure that none of it is wasted. If you wanted to get rid of it."

Lena rolled her eyes at that. "Be my guest. My whiskey days are over." Kara laughed and Lena knew that maybe she was being dramatic but it was upsetting.

Once their drinks arrived everyone had fallen back into casual conversations, taking sips of their glasses occasionally.

"It isn't horrible." Lena announced halfway through her drink.

Kara smiled back at her. "Much better than the first one I had. Mon-El got it for us and I got so drunk right away."

Lena didn't want to talk or think about Kara's ex so she decided to ignore that mention of him. "I still want to see drunk Kara."

"I'm sure you'll meet her tonight."

"Good." Lena let out, smiling before taking another sip of her drink, her eyes locked on Kara's.

Winn interrupted their staring contest a moment later, "Pool competition." He announced, his words slightly slurred after the round of shots Maggie had insisted on them drinking and the drink he had just finished. "Winner gets- bragging rights."

James patted his shoulder. "Not the most amazing award, buddy."

Kara scoffed, "I don't need bragging rights. I just want to top Lena."

She nearly choked on her drink as Kara said those words. Clearly, she hadn't noticed how wrong that sounded. But Lena did. And her mind went straight to when they were in such situation. Something she had been trying to keep off her mind.

"Right." J'onn said a second later.

Looking down at her glass she avoided looking directly at anyone else. Feeling far too awkward to do so. Especially since she knew most if not all of them were aware of what had happened between she and Kara.

"Are we doing this or what?" Maggie asked, getting up from her seat.

An hour later the competition was down to Lena, Kara, Alex, and J'onn.

"You're good." Kara announced, poking her finger into Lena's arm. "I underestimated you."

"Haven't you heard?" Lena started, raising a teasing eyebrow at her. "Never underestimate a Luthor." The moment the last word came out Lena winked and moved to the pool table, focusing on playing again. It was way too much fun to tease her and even with everything going on Lena found that she still wanted to do so. Maybe the alcohol helped with that.

Lena was standing near the pool table waiting for Kara to make her move, watching attentively every movement her friend made. She looked tense and Lena could hear her heartbeat fastening. Things truly were still awkward between them.

"Right." Kara nodded, positioning herself to swing the cue. "You're going down."

Lena smirked, "Is that so?" She asked with a teasing tone.

Lena won the game, easily. Far too easily, actually.

"You were lucky." Kara said scoffing. "I was distracted."

Lena rolled her eyes. "With what? There isn't much to get distracted with here." Sure there were people all around them but Kara wasn't new to her powers, unlike Lena. There was no reason for her to be distracted. And they weren't drunk enough to use that as an excuse.

Kara crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall. "You." She blurted out. "You're so-" she gestured vaguely towards Lena. "It's distracting."

Lena was now staring at her with wide eyes, standing way too close to her. She didn't even notice that she had closed in on Kara and she was too confused and lost in her thoughts to move. What did she mean?

"Me?" Lena finally let out, her voice barely there. It was the best she could manage at the moment.

"You're so you." Kara slurred slightly. "And I'm not...Rao, Lena, you're a lot."

Lena looked down at the floor, eyebrows furrowing as she wondered what that meant. "Is that-" she started and hesitate, "bad?"

Kara shook her head, causing Lena to feel less tense. "No." Lena noticed that Kara was reaching for her hand but couldn't bring herself to pull it away. She just stood there waiting but her friend stopped before touching her.

"It's good." Kara told her, finally allowing her hand to touch Lena's.

Lena immediately jumped back, her eyes fighting back the pain of what she saw. For Kara, it might have been a split second but Lena saw it all. The entire fight.

"I'm sorry. I-" Lena closed her hand.

"What did you see?"

Lena bit her lip, avoiding looking directly at Kara. "You." She started, sighing. "I saw you. Fighting me."

Kara nodded, "That wasn't you."

Kara nodded as well, a sad smile growing. "Why did you hesitate? You barely defended yourself, Kara."

Kara shrugged. "You're my best friend, Lena. I believe in you. Always. You're so good. I would trust you with the world."

Lena tried to stop herself from crying but nobody had ever told her anything like that. Nobody had ever believed in her the way Kara did. Nobody would ever trust Lena Luthor like Kara Danvers could. She didn't even get to deal with the fact she was now crying because next thing she knew she was being hugged. Tightly and it felt like everything good in the world. Like coming home after a horribly long day of meetings with awful businessmen.

As much as Lena tried to avoid and run from it the truth was that she was in love with Kara. 

"Okay, I think you two have had enough to drink." Alex announced, walking up to them. "You're not supposed to be crying at a bar, Luthor. You're supposed to have fun."

Lena gave her a small smile and nodded, cleaning up the tears from her face. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Alex rolled her eyes. "Now come, I believe I have to kick your ass now."

The last thing she saw before focusing on playing against Alex was Kara smiling sadly at her. Lena wished she could make that a genuine smile.

"How are you two?" Alex asked, after a few plays.

Lena looked at her with a confused expression. "What are you asking?"

"I'm asking if you and my sister have stopped being ridiculous."

Lena rolled her eyes. "We aren't being ridiculous."

"Sure." Alex stated sarcastically. "I like you Luthor. We all do."

"Thank you?" Lena was extremely confused.

"Kara messed up, I won't deny that. But sometimes we all need a little push."

"You think I need a push?"

"I think Kara is brave and heroic but when it comes to certain aspects of her personal life she needs someone to push her out of her comfort zone."

Lena sighed. "What do you want me to do? She ignored me for too long. Then gave me a horrible excuse for her behavior and then-" Lena shrugged, "my mother messed it all up even further."

Alex nodded, looking kindly at her. "Kara will be there for you if you let her. I know she ran away before but trust me, my sister would never actually leave you. And I know we have all become friends and we are here for you but we both know how much Kara means to you. You need her and she needs you."

Lena didn't say anything. Focusing on the game instead.

"Maybe far more than you both realize." Alex finished, smiling at her.

Looking at Kara she noticed that her friend seemed all too distracted. Good. She didn't want to deal with her having listened to this.

"It seems I win." Alex announced. "How about the loser, who happens to be a billionaire, buys food for all of us?"

Lena rolled her eyes but agreed.

Alex and Lena sat back down on the table, minutes after. Carrying food with them.

"Lena was generous enough to buy us some food. Enjoy." Alex told everyone, handing out the nachos.

"Here." Lena told Kara who seemed completely lost. Handing over some nachos she smiled kindly. Noticing her friends confusion she tried to explain the situation. "Alex won. I had to buy everyone something to eat." Maybe drunk Kara wasn't as fun as she had imagined.

"Thank you." Kara said but Lena knew something was wrong judging by her tone.

"Sorry for crying and making things awkward."

"Don't ever apologize for showing your emotions." Kara told her, drunkenly pointing.

Lena simply nodded.

"Where are yours?" Kara asked pointing at the nachos.

The CEO shrugged.

"Have some of mine."

Lena tried to protest but Kara held a hand up, "Please." She pouted, and Lena couldn't really argue with such compelling point.

Part of her knew how big of a deal it was that Kara Danvers was sharing food with her. Actually, it had been her idea and she had begged Lena to eat her food. Of course, her cautious side would never allow her to overthink the gesture. Either way, Lena felt warm inside as she looked at the smile Kara gave her once she started to eat.

Apparently, the whole exchange had shocked a few people because the whole table was staring at them as if Kara had performed a miracle.

Lena didn't notice but Alex turned to Maggie after a few seconds, whispering something in pure shock. "Did Kara just-?"

Maggie simply nodded.

On the other side of the table, Kara and Lena were happily sharing their nachos while talking about all sorts of random things their drunken minds came up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting so close to some revelations.


	35. Balcony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long wait and I apologise for it. I'm currently mobile and on data instead of wifi.

Lena had gone back to being herself with her new added powers that also gave her a professional relationship with the DEO. Unlike Kara however, hers was behind the scenes. Even with her powers she was the most helpful using her human mind. Something that made Kara happy because despite everything Lena had gone into her world and now had all that for who she had always been not who she had become.

Things were good between them and they continued to steadily speak and hang out. Their Hangouts with the Superfriends were quite frequent and always so much fun. Kara never wanted them to end. Not just because she had always enjoyed them but because walking away from Lena was difficult.

It shouldn't be. She should be getting better at this. It should be getting easier. But then she would take one look at Lena Luthor sitting next to her family and friends, laughing without a worry in the world as if she wasn't the most mind blowing person ever and suddenly she knew why she was still caught up on her. How could she not be?

"I wish I could have seen it all." Lena spoke, approaching her in the balcony. They were still at the DEO, a late work night for the team.

Kara stared at her friend in confusion, not sure what she meant.

"Krypton." She explained, looking up to where Kara had been absently staring. "It's some part of me now in a way but I don't feel like I deserve it."

"What?" Her voice came out more aggressive than she meant to. "Lena."

"Out of everyone, a Luthor... It almost seems like an awful joke the universe decided to play."

"Lena, I couldn't have chosen better myself. Out of everyone, you're one of the most deserving ones."

Lena sighed, looking at her with a questioning eyebrow. "I'm serious, Kara. I've never even seen your planet. How can I be one of the last of your species?"

Kara smiled, hovering her hand hesitantly just above Lena's heart. "You have a good heart, Lena. You might not really know or remember Krypton but neither does Clark. And unlike him you can somehow still access the memories of what used to be. You deserve so much good please stop doubting it whenever it is given to you. You were given this gift and I know it didn't feel like such a gift for a while and sometimes you might still struggle. Even I do. Sometimes it doesn't feel like a gift until I can help someone who needs me once again. I know of only a handful of people I would trust with Krypton in this way and you are undeniably one of them. If you're not worthy then nobody is."

Lena was staring at Kara's hand that had somehow landed on top of hers. Shyly she pulled it away. "You're everything one could wish to be. You're a hero, Lena Luthor and I can not wait for you to realize that."

"Thank you." There was a tension in the air between them as they stood there staring at each other unsure of what to do or say.

"I'm sorry." Kara blurted out. "For everything. What I did. How I reacted. What happened to you."

Lena took a deep breath and shook her head before gesturing her hand in dismissal. "I did it too, Kara." She whispered. "I was there. I- kissed you back. I didn't stop it." She was avoiding her gaze and Kara was glad for that. "I should have known."

"How could you have?"

"Because... You wouldn't-"

Kara didn't allow her to continue. "I would."

Lena suddenly met her gaze in surprise and shock. "You would?"

"When I first arrived I was told I needed to be normal. Only my normal wasn't like yours. Before I didn't have powers, I was just Kara Zor-El. An ordinary teenage girl who studied science and happened to be struggling with her sexuality. Then I came here and there was no more room for struggles like that. I had to focus on my powers that I had never asked for and didn't know how to use. I had to focus on being human. I pushed all thoughts of romance and sexuality away unless it helped me fit into the school dances with the other kids. But being anything other than straight was unthinkable. It would make me stand out even more. I couldn't handle it." She was well aware that she was rambling but it was about time for Kara to open up about this.

"So you hid it away?" Lena encouraged.

Kara nodded. "I tried to. I dated guys, tried my hardest to like it too. It never quite felt right. Even with the ones who would have been a great match back in Krypton" she shrugged. "Back there I would have probably been matched and bonded to a man by now. I can't imagine that but it would have been easier."

"You should never have to compromise who you are, Kara. Never."

"I know. That's why I finally broke down, I think. I couldn't handle it any longer." She explained. "I couldn't keep hiding this part of me and pretend that one day I'll find a guy I can be with. That won't happen. No matter how hard I try, this is part of me and I'm slowly coming to terms with it."

Lena nodded, placing her hand on Kara's that were on the railing. "Whatever you need, I am here for you." Moving her hands away moments later.

"I know." She whispered, smiling.

Kara took a deep breath, looking over at Lena who was looking at the view of the city. "I regret the way it happened."

"You and I both."

"We have talked. About it. I know you don't remember because your memory got wiped out but..."

"How did it go?"

Kara smiled sadly, "Not as well as I would have hoped for."

"Here's to second chances then."

How could she do this? Here she was, letting her heart be seen. The secret that she kept in shame and disgrace and Lena was still making her feel better about everything. She was still there for her even after what Kara had done.

"If you went back..."

"Kara." Lena whispered, almost in warning.

"No. Hear me out." She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "If you went back would you have stopped me?"

"Look at all that happened, Kara. Wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would have." It was the logic thing to do. Even if she wanted what had happened. It shouldn't have happened that way.

"Should I try to find you a nice alien girlfriend now? As your best friend I feel like it might be one of my duties."

Kara chuckled, furrowing her nose amusingly. "Lena. Should I find you one too?"

Lena raised a questioning eyebrow. "An alien girlfriend?"

Suddenly she could feel her cheeks heating up. "Stop that. You know what I meant."

"I think I have some things to figure out before dating." Her friend responded, avoiding her gaze. Or maybe Kara was reading too into her expressions.

"So do I."

"I'm definitely being your wingwoman one day. It will be wonderful to use against Winn."

"He will hate that I allowed that."

"And I will love every second of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoy what I did this chapter and where it is going.
> 
> Also, I apologise for it being so short.


	36. Kara's date

Lena is on a date and she can't seem to stop thinking about it. It's all her fault. She was the one who introduced her best friend to the woman she was now having dinner with.

Her friend had tried to fight it but eventually she admitted it was time to get out there. They both did.

So they agreed to find a date for each other and that's what they did. Which was how Kara found herself sitting at a restaurant with some business woman named Kate that Lena had met years before.

In all honesty, Kara hadn't really been paying attention to her. Her mind was too busy wondering if Kara was getting along with her date.

Her date was looking at her and Kara had no idea why that was. Had she asked something? Luckily she seemed to notice that Kara was completely lost and repeated herself.

"I asked you about your day." The woman smiled, she had to admit she seemed nice.

"Oh." She let out, "It was a long day at work, sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I know all about long work days." There it was, that bright smile. She was beautiful but her mind was still wondering what Lena was doing. Was she having fun? Was she interested in the woman Kara had set her up with?

The more she thought about her best friend and her date, the more jealous she felt. Kara knew it was wrong of her to feel this way. After everything that happened, she didn't deserve Lena. Yet here she was, on a date with a beautiful, nice and successful woman that Lena had set her up with and all she could do was think about her best friend.

"Are you okay? You zoned out again." Kate stated, her voice showing genuine worry.

Kara sighed, focusing on the food in front of her. Moving it around with her fork as she stared at it. "I have to be honest with you."

"You like someone." The woman guessed.

She nodded, hesitating before looking at her date. "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this. That I was ready to date."

"It's okay. I understand."

"Sorry for wasting your time."

"I'm eating some of the best food in National City with good company. I wouldn't call it wasting my time."

Kara smiled. "I think I could have liked you-" she stopped for a moment. "If it wasn't for- you know."

"I'm flattered."

They spent the next hour talking and Kara felt more at ease now that this was no longer a date.

After the date they exchanged phone numbers, Kara could use more female friends. And maybe Lena was right to set up a date with Kate, after they stopped seeing it as a date they actually had a great time. Even if Kara kept thinking about Lena's date.

Maybe she shouldn't have set her up with someone as great as Sam. She had interviewed her and Kara hated to admit it but Sam was an amazing person and she knew that they would get along. Which only made her feel worse.

Of course, Kara only wanted Lena to be happy and if Sam could do that then she would just deal with it.

After she got to her apartment Kara sat down on her couch, taking off her shoes and laying down as she unlocked her phone. She stared at her messages with Lena, wondering if she should text her or if she could be interrupting something. The moment that thought crossed her mind Kara felt sick. She hated to think of Lena with someone else. Not only in a date but maybe kissing them or doing other things.

 **Kara** : you're right. Kate is great. I hope you enjoyed your date.

She threw her phone aside, not wanting to wait around for Lena's reply. She would just end up overthinking the time she would take to say something back.

The reply came half an hour later as she stared at the screen of her tv that was playing some movie. Kara hadn't been paying much attention to it, instead focusing on trying not to overthink the fact Lena took a while to reply.

 **Lena** : I knew you two would get along. All I'll say is that you're the best wingwoman.

Kara frowned, the date must have went really well if Lena sent that. They might even have kissed. Or more. No. She couldn't sit there and think about that. Lena was her best friend and she didn't like her that way. Sam was a great person and she could make Lena happy.

 **Kara** : I told you I'd get you a girlfriend

The response came seconds later but Kara found herself wishing it had never arrived.

 **Lena** : Don't let it get to your head.

Kara chuckled, it was her fault that the woman she was in love with had found herself a girlfriend. Or was on her way to have one. She had done that. Sighing she got up, deciding she was better off sleeping instead of thinking about this any longer.

The next morning Kara was checking her social media while she ate her breakfast when she noticed that Lena not only had followed Sam on Instagram but had liked a lot of her photos and even complimented her in some of them. Kara closed the app and decided she really needed to go work out. Maybe punch some concrete. It was her day off from CatCo after all and she needed to stay in shape. And okay maybe she felt the need to let go of some of her frustration that may be related to her best friend and her love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Lena's date


	37. Lena's date

Lena was on a date. Something that had only happened a handful amount of times in her lifetime. All thanks to Kara.

Sam was amazing. She truly was. Apparently she was a successful business graduate and a single mother. Not only was she a wonderful person but Lena could talk about work and she related.

She would have to thank Kara for introducing her to this woman. At first she had been hesitant to actually go on a date. Not only because of her feelings for Kara but also because who would want to actually date a Luthor? Apparently Sam didn't mind.

There hasn't been a dull moment or even any signs that Sam thought anything negative of her despite her family name.

As much fun as Lena was having during their dinner she kept thinking about Kara. Her best friend was still there, in the back of her mind despite her trying her best to enjoy her date with Sam.

She couldn't help it. Kara was also on a date that she had set up and Lena hated the thought of her best friend actually starting to date Kate, who she knew was amazing. Yet this was what they wanted wasn't it? To find each other someone. To move on. To be happy.

Lena could be happy with Sam. Not that she ever doubted that Kara would be the one person who could find someone she would be willing to date. She knew her better than anyone else. Unfortunately it wasn't so easy. Lena loved Kara. They had known each other for over a year, nearing two actually, and it was difficult to just move on.

"I have to say, I didn't expect Kara to be right." Sam admitted.

Lena smiled shyly, shaking her head. "Neither did I."

Sam smiled back at her. Taking a sip of her wine as she stared right at Lena.

She insisted on paying for dinner, claiming that there was no point in being a billionaire if she didn't spend it. Sam stated she would pay for the next time. To which Lena agreed.

Normally she wouldn't do this. Kara was the one she loved. But she didn't feel the same way. Lena had been some sort of experiment to do with her sexuality and even if she enjoyed what happened between them, she can't keep hoping one day Kara will feel the same way. She has to accept reality. Lena has to move on.

Sam accompanied her to her apartment, making Lena nervous. She didn't have much experience with things like this and she didn't know what to do. Was this the part where they kissed? Was Kara kissing Kate?

They were still in the car when her phone vibrated.

 **Kara** : you're right. Kate is great. I hope you enjoyed your date.

Lena stared at her phone, feeling sick as she imagined how well Kara's date might have gone. What might have happened between her and Kate. She decided not to reply right in that moment. Lena couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead she locked her phone and focused on Sam.

"Is everything alright?" The woman asked.

Lena gave her a small smile, "Yes. Everything's great."

In that moment the car stopped and they sat staring at each other for a moment.

"Do you want to go up for a while?" Lena invited while she tried her best not to blush.

"I'd love to."

After a few minutes they found themselves inside Lena's apartment. Two glasses of wine on the kitchen counter as they chatted. They had already drank a bottle at the restaurant which helped her with her nerves and now she felt more at ease. Although her mind was still going over Kara's text.

"I enjoyed our date."

Lena smiled and stared at her glass, gathering up the courage to make a move. She needed to move on. So she did. Next thing she knew she was kissing Sam.

It didn't last long. They kissed and chatted for maybe half an hour and then Sam had to go. Before she went they set up another date and exchanged phone numbers. Lena sighed, sitting down on her living room couch.

 **Lena** : I knew you two would get along. All I'll say is that you're the best wingwoman.

She hated to think of Kara kissing someone else but she wanted her to be happy. So she would put on a smile and support her friend as she tried to move on.

 **Kara** : I told you I'd get you a girlfriend

Lena chuckled. If it were up to her then Kara would be her girlfriend but she was never that lucky.

 **Lena** : Don't let it get to your head.

She didn't wait for a response. Instead she went to bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

That night she dreamt of Kara and what could have been. If only her best friend felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter since it is more of a second part to the previous one.


	38. Busy

She didn't know what hurt the most, imagining Lena kissing Sam or knowing it's all her fault. Why didn't she set her up with someone awful? That would have been better. Then again, Lena would have had a bad time and Kara didn't want that.

Liking her best friend was the worst thing that had happened to her. Okay, no. That wasn't true. But it was awful and she hated it. Why couldn't she like someone who liked her back? And wasn't her best friend. That was an important detail that made things way more complicated.

Lena had posted a photo with Sam on her Instagram. They seemed happy. Kara hated it. She loved them both but she absolutely hated that they were dating. Or seemed to be. Kara wasn't entirely sure since Lena seemed to avoid questions about it all and didn't really use words like girlfriend or dating. But she knew they had been hanging out and they seemed quite friendly on social media. So yeah, Kara hated it.

She punched the concrete again, causing part of it to break just as Alex entered the room. Making her lean against the door frame and stare at her with raised eyebrows.

"Last time this happened was when we didn't believe Lena's innocence. What's wrong now?"

"Nothing." She answered, punching it again.

"You're a terrible liar, Kara." Her sister pointed out, making sure to point at the space between her eyebrows.

Kara sighed, cursing her crinkle. "Lena is dating someone."

Alex stared at her with widened eyes before crossing her arms. "Oh. Is she?"

She nodded, shrugging before sitting against the rest of the concrete. "Remember when I had that dinner with Kate? Lena set it up and I did the same for her. With that woman, Sam, that I interviewed for CatCo. Now they're dating. I think..."

"Lena hasn't said anything." Alex stated as she sat besides her.

Kara was fidgeting and staring at her own hands. "I don't think she's the type to speak about her love life. She keeps avoiding the subject."

"She is very private." Alex agreed. "I thought you were trying to move on, Kara. This doesn't look like moving on."

"I tried." Kara admitted, shaking her head. "Kate was great but all I could think about was Lena."

"You have it bad."

"I know."

They sat there in silence for a while until Kara spoke again.

"I don't know how to move on, Alex."

"Maybe you should tell her how you feel."

"I can't do that." She told her, nearly laughing at how ridiculous that was. "I tried it months ago and she didn't say it back. She doesn't feel the same way. I would prefer not to be rejected by my best friend, again."

Alex nodded in understanding. "How about we have a sisters' night? Would that help?"

"It might." Kara responded with a small smile.

She needed something more permanent but maybe a night with Alex would distract her from Lena.

And it did. Until Alex went home to Maggie and Kara found herself thinking about how it felt to kiss Lena and what she would give to do it again.

A few days later Kara was going to surprise Lena after a long day at work. She had takeout with her and everything. But unfortunately things did not go as planned.

If only she had called her best friend, she would have avoided feeling this way.

She was arriving to Lena's building when she spotted Lena getting out of her car. Kara was about to call out for her friend when she saw Sam follow Lena. She froze, staring at her friends as they laughed together and then it happened.

Kara could have done without seeing such thing. She could literally feel pain in her heart as she stared at what was happening.

Lena and Sam were kissing and they seemed comfortable doing so. Like it had happened several times before.

She doesn't remember moving but next thing she knows she's flying away.

It took her days to talk to Lena again, giving her some excuse about being busy at work. Truth was, Kara didn't know how to act.

Yet when Lena suggested they have lunch Kara found herself agreeing to it.

So here she was, sitting at the balcony of CatCo, waiting for the woman she was in love with to arrive.

It truly was unfair how attractive Lena was. That was her first thought when she saw her friend walking up to her.

"Sorry I'm late. The meeting ran late."

"Don't worry about it. You're only ten minutes late. I'm sure I've made you wait for longer than that."

Lena smiled, sitting across from her. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Yeah." Kara smiled but she was sure it must have looked forced. "CatCo gets crazy sometimes."

"Don't think this gives you a free pass from telling you all about your date."

Kara nearly choked on her food. "My date? Right. Well, only if you tell me all about yours."

Last thing she wanted was that and she was hoping Lena refused to talk about it since she was usually such a private person. Maybe that would stop this conversation from happening.

Lena smirked and it was as attractive as ever. "It is only fair." She stared, taking a moment before continuing. "You're a good wingwoman, Kara. Sam is a great person and we got along really well. We have actually gone on a few more dates." Lena seemed shy about it and Kara wished she had actually choked on her food and died. It would have been way less painful than this.

"That's great." Kara tried to smile but she barely managed the fakest smile probably ever. "I'm glad you're happy. You deserve it."

"Yes, happy. I'm very happy." She might have been imagining things but she could swear Lena hesitated when smiling. Maybe that was wishful thinking. Although she really did want her to be happy. Maybe just not while dating someone else. Then again, part of her wanted that for her.

Why was everything so complicated?

"What about your date?"

Kara blushed. What was she supposed to tell her best friend? That she had told Kate that she liked someone? That they hadn't even left the restaurant before she gave up because of her feelings for Lena? It was ridiculous. "Kate is a wonderful woman."

"A blush and that? It seems I did my job as a wingwoman."

"Yeah, you certainly did that." Kara wasn't about to admit that there was nothing between her and Kate. Thought she was sure Lena could easily find that out if she spoke with Kate.

The rest of their lunch went by with no mentions of the other women or their love lives. Which Kara was grateful for. But unfortunately she still felt awkward and she was sure that Lena could tell something was wrong. Luckily she didn't ask questions.

Before leaving Lena hugged her and Kara barely responded to the hug. It didn't help her move on and that's what she needed to do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't drag this part out for long. Don't worry.


	39. You'll figure it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out the previous chapter. I posted two today.

After the date and the kiss, or kisses, Lena had trouble figuring out where to go from there in regards to Sam.

She was an amazing person and the more they spoke, usually by texting or talking on the phone, the more she cared about her. They even had a few dates after the first one. Usually ending in some exchanged kisses which she did enjoy. Sam was a good kisser and she's only human. Well, kind of. Besides, Sam is very attractive.

Yet the way she cared for Sam was different from Kara. With Kara things felt natural. It was easy. She never even saw it coming until it was there. Until those feelings took over and there was nothing to do about it. But with Sam she felt like she needed to like her that way. She was everything she could ask for, why wouldn't she? Lena should like her. She should want to date her. But she didn't.

Sure, she had enjoyed their time together but Kara was still in her mind and she didn't seem to be going anywhere. As hard as she tried, Lena was in love with Kara. There was no denying it.

She sighed, knowing what she had to do. Admit that there wouldn't be anything besides a friendship to Sam.

Instead of seeing Sam as a possible girlfriend she was starting to see her as a friend. Someone she could count on. And perhaps someone that she could work with in the future. Apparently Sam was good at what she did and L-Corp could use someone like her.

She hasn't seen Kara since their lunch together where her best friend had acted slightly off. They had been busy and the most they had done was texting. Which was normal for them. Mostly because Kara couldn't keep herself from sending her silly things or telling her about anything mildly interesting that had happened during her day. But Lena still felt like things were tense between them. She just couldn't figure out why that was.

"Ms. Luthor?" Jess spoke, looking at her in confusion. Apparently she had been trying to get her attention for a while but Lena had been too distracted with her thoughts.

"Yes. Sorry Jess. What is it?"

"There is a woman named Sam waiting for you. She says you are waiting for her."

Lena was caught off guard. Looking at her watch she noticed that it was later than she thought. "Oh, right. Tell her to come in."

Jess nodded before leaving the office. Lena quickly began organizing her desk. After a minute Sam walking into the room, looking as good as she had during their date. She made it seem effortless.

"Did you forget?" Sam asked, looking at her as if she could see right through her.

Lena couldn't help but look guilty. "Sorry. I didn't forget but I didn't notice the time."

"That's because you're a workaholic."

"Guilty as charged." She shrugged, getting up from her chair and walking up to Sam.

"Come on. We need to get you away from paperwork." Sam smiled widely at her.

They went to get ice cream and Lena felt like she was a teenager on a date. Which was surprisingly fun. Maybe because she hadn't had much experience in this field. With Jack most dates were nerdy or some rich people activity. Nothing s simple as getting ice cream.

"What's wrong? You're awfully quiet." Sam pointed out as they sat at the park while they ate their ice creams.

Lena stared at Sam for a few seconds before sighing. "Kara knows me all too well." She admitted, choosing to stare at her ice cream instead of Sam. "If things were different- you're amazing, Sam. I'm not just saying this. I've come to think of you as a friend and I don't have many of those. In fact, I don't need to use all my fingers to count the ones I have."

"This sounds a lot like a break up. I didn't know we were dating." Sam seemed amused by her words.

Lena chuckled, shaking her head in embarrassment. "Sorry. I only meant that... I don't know how to do this. I thought I was ready to get out there and date. It seems it's easier said than done."

"Ah, I get it." Sam smiled at her and it served as a reminder of what she was giving up. "After Ruby's father left it took me a while to be ready to date again."

"Why are you so understanding? Where did Kara find you?"

Sam laughed, nudging her lightly. "I could say the same. I never thought I'd be going on a date with a CEO. Much less one as successful as you and with such a great personality."

"You flatter me." Lena couldn't keep herself from smiling at those compliments.

"I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course. I would love to keep you in my life."

"Then you have me."

They smiled at each other and Lena was relieved to find that she didn't have to give Sam up.

Kara might not like her in the same way but Lena was foolishly in love with her and there was nothing she could do about it. Sam was possibly the best person she would ever meet that would willingly date her and yet here she was, making sure that didn't happen. All because she couldn't do that to her. Or anyone. Lena couldn't use someone like this.

They spent some time at the park and she had fun. Sam was someone she genuinely hoped would stay in her life for a long time. By the end of their time together Lena casually mentioned the possibility of Sam working at L-Corp and she seemed excited so Lena made a mental note to draft a contract as soon as she could.

There was an envelope on her desk when she got back to her office. When questioned about it Jess simply smiled and told her that Alex had been there to personally ensure its delivery. Lena was confused until she opened it and saw that the envelope contained an invite to her wedding.

She couldn't remember the last time she had been invited to a wedding because the people getting married genuinely wanted her there and not out of obligation.

 **Lena** : Thank you for inviting me to your wedding.

Moments later her phone vibrated.

 **Alex** : There's no need to thank me. You're family.

 **Lena** : Family? I didn't know you saw me as a sister.

 **Alex** : That's not it. One day you'll figure it out.

What was she talking about? Was Alex drunk?

 **Lena** : ??? Have you been day drinking?

 **Alex** : If that makes you drop the questioning, sure.

 **Lena** : You're a mystery to me, Alex Danvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter things will be better for these two and we will get back on track. And also start working on giving them the happy ending they deserve.


	40. Sisters' night

Kara kept thinking of Lena and Sam kissing. It was like a nightmare only difference was that it came to mind at random times and not just in her sleep. It was already bad that she had seen it happen but to have it play over and over again was pure torture.

She had to stop it. To do something. Maybe she should just tell Lena how she felt. Then again, what would that do? She would just get rejected again and Lena would still be with Sam.

She sighed, throwing herself onto the couch. Alex sat besides her, holding a beer as she stared at her.

"Is this a bad time to say I invited Lena to the wedding?"

Kara turned her head so fast that Alex widened her eyes in surprise. "You did?" Her voice was high pitched. "Oh no, this is terrible. I'm going to have to see Lena and Sam being all romantic at your wedding. What if they start thinking of marriage, Alex?"

Alex chuckled. "Lena is twenty four and they've been dating for what? A week or two?"

"You know how gay women are." Kara stated, sighing again.

"How stereotypical of you."

"You proposed after dating Maggie for less than a year."

Alex shrugged. "You might have a point."

"Alex." She whined. "I love Lena. What am I going to do? I've tried to ignore it and that didn't work. Then I tried to tell her and she just stared at me. So I tried to move on and all I could think about was Lena while on a date with someone else. It's hopeless. I'm destined to see the person I love be happy with someone else while I keep being referred to as her best friend."

Alex was staring at her with raised eyebrows and her typical serious expression.

"What?"

"You two are clueless. Oblivious, really. It's actually impressive."

"What are you talking about?"

Alex took a sip of her beer, taking her sweet time to speak again. "You punched concrete for Lena. More than once. You've risked your life, without even thinking about it, for her. And she has done the same. Time and time again, Lena has trusted you with her life and put herself in danger. She had to sacrifice Jack to save you, Kara."

"She's the most selfless person I know." She admitted in a whisper. "But what are you saying?"

"I'm saying she's either the most committed best friend ever or she feels the same way."

Kara snorted. "Lena? Don't be silly, Alex. I- I've told her how I feel and she froze."

"Maybe she was in shock. Or scared."

"Maybe she doesn't feel the same way."

"Maybe you're blind."

Kara threw a pillow at Alex, causing her to nearly drop her beer and yell at her.

"She's dating Sam."

"Are you sure?"

"I saw them kissing."

Alex sighed and nodded. "Maggie was also dating someone when we met. She still liked me and now we are marrying each other."

"But she didn't start to date someone else after those feelings."

Kara hugged a pillow in her lap, she was trying not to cry. Her sister could probably tell because soon enough she was hugging her.

"It's okay. You'll find someone that loves you just as much as you love them. And Lena is a fool if she doesn't end up being that person."

Kara smiled before tears started to form in her eyes. "I'm such a mess."

"You're a Danvers, it comes with it."

After that they focused on the movie that Kara chose. As soon as that was over Kara turned to her sister. "Should I invite Lena to Thanksgiving?"

Alex shrugged in response. "She is your best friend."

"Well, Winn and James are coming so it wouldn't be weird. Right?"

"Kara, relax. Like I said, she is your best friend and she is part of the Superfriends."

Kara was staring at her sister in shock. "Did you just say-"

"Don't tell Winn. He will be even more annoying than usually if he finds out."

"Your secret is safe with me. Or until I need to use this against you."

"How dare you?" Alex questioned, hitting her with a pillow.

Kara sighed. "I can't wait to spend time with all of you. It's been a while."

She ended up staying over at Alex's after Maggie called saying she was going to stay at her apartment to pack up more of her things. Soon she would be moving to this apartment.

Lena texted her in the morning. Which wasn't surprising but Alex seemed to find very interesting.

"So this is normal?" Alex questions.

Kara simply shrugs as she eats her pancakes while staring at the text on phone screen.

 **Lena** : Good morning. I've read your new article. It's amazing. I'm proud of you.

A few seconds later she received another text.

 **Lena** : Are we still on for brunch?

"Brunch?" Alex asked, reading the texts from over her shoulder.

"Yeah. It was going to be lunch but you and I have the cake tasting today so we settled on brunch."

Alex sat down next to her and smirked. "Married." She let out between fake coughing.

Kara nudged her, blushing shyly.

 **Kara** : you're flattering me, Lena. I can't wait for brunch!!

She hesitated but ended up sending a heart emoji, which caused Alex to snort.

"I hate you."

Alex smirked, "I love you too, Kara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter but an important one to remind everyone of what's going through Kara's mind. Next one will be important and will start to change things.


	41. Thanksgiving

Lena was nervous. Actually, nervous wouldn't even begin to describe it. She was terrified.

Of course, she had met and spent time with everyone that would be at Kara's but one thing was to do such thing casually. Another was to do so while spending thanksgivings at her best friend's house.

She almost said no but Kara kept insisting and Lena is only human. Sort of. Actually, she's part alien now. But she's still weak when it comes to Kara Danvers. Or Zor-El. Whatever name she wanted to use. Kara was her weakness. And her strength. It was a strange dynamic.

Now here she was, standing outside of Kara's apartment wondering why she put herself in such situations. Holding two bottles of incredibly expensive wine. She was only going to being one but Lena started to overthink. How many people would be over? She had no idea but wanted to make sure it was enough for everyone.

She took a deep breath and casually kicked the door, it was all she could do when her hands were occupied. She barely waited a second before Kara was opening the door, apparently she has noticed her presence even before she tried to catch it.

"Lena. You're here."

With a smile she walked inside, handing one of the bottles to her friend and allowing Alex to take the other.

"Fancy. I'll enjoy this." Alex announced with a smile.

Maggie snorted, rolling her eyes at her fiancee. "Classy, Danvers."

"I've seen her nearly pass out from drinking cheap beer. I'm not expecting fancy." Lena spoke, smirking at Alex in a teasing manner. Much to Maggie's amusement.

"That's it. I'm going to beat your ass at whatever we end up playing." Alex was smiling, much to her relieve. She was glad they had grown close enough to joke around like this.

Suddenly Kara handed her a knife and pointed at some vegetables. "Here. Take care of your healthy food."

"Here I was thinking I'd get to taste a kale dish you had done."

Kara frowned, "Oh no, I might be allergic to kale. There's no way I'll ever willingly be that close to it."

"Have I ever told you you're very dramatic?" Lena teased.

Glancing around she noticed both Alex and Maggie staring at them with a smug expression, like they knew something they didn't. Lena didn't want to know what that was all about.

"Eliza is here." Kara announced before there was any signs of her presence. Lena was surprised by it but that was only because unlike Kara she wasn't used to casually using her powers. Choosing to instead trying to live the way humans do.

Two hours later everyone had arrived and they were ready to eat. It was almost overwhelming, how many people were in the apartment. Next time she should offer her own apartment for this. It was bigger after all.

"So Sam couldn't make it?" Kara asked casually.

Lena shook her head in response. "Sam and Ruby went back home to spend time with Sam's adoptive family."

"Sam's adopted?"

"You didn't know?" Lena questioned curiously. Kara had known Sam for longer than she had. Although maybe not quite as intimately.

"No." She sat in silence for a few seconds. "I guess we have something in common."

"I suppose you do."

Lena ended up having pleasant conversations with everyone. Surprisingly Eliza and Jeremiah were two of the people she spent the most time with. Both of them thanking her several times for her part in freeing him. As well as telling embarrassing stories about the Danvers sisters.

Later that day they all sat on the living room and played board games. Kara insisted they teamed up and Lena had to admit they made a great team. Winning most of the games they played.

"Thank you for coming." Kara whispered in the middle of a game as everyone paid attention to other things.

"Thanks for inviting me. I usually spend Thanksgiving working."

"I'm not surprised."

Lena rolled her eyes although she knew that she did have a problem.

"How are things with Sam?"

She wasn't expecting that question. What did she mean? Was she assuming they were actually dating? She hadn't exactly denied such thing but she definitely hadn't confirmed it.

"Sam and I are growing closer every day. I'm happy that I've found a friend in her. And Ruby is amazing as well."

"A friend?" Kara's eyes widened in what looked like surprise. "I thought-"

"I- We tried but..." Lena wasn't sure how to explain the situation. If she mentioned liking someone else Kara would question her about it. She couldn't do that. "We are friends."

Kara simply nodded, she seemed to be deep in thought.

"What about Kate?"

"She- Kate is great. You definitely chose well but we're not..."

"Oh." Lena didn't know what to say. "I thought..."

"No. We're just friends."

"Should I look for another date?"

Kara chuckled, "I don't think so."

"Are you two going to play?" Winn asked, looking between them.

They went right back to playing and Lena was relieved because the last thing she wanted to do was talk about dates or Sam with Kara.

Later that night as everyone started to go home Lena realized this had been the best Thanksgiving she ever had. For once she didn't feel awkward or tense. She felt at ease, like she had done this several times before. Lena felt at home.

"It was nice seeing you again, Lena." Eliza told her as they said goodbye, Jeremiah smiled at her.

After a while it was just Alex, Maggie, Kara and her. All of them cleaning up. It didn't take long until Kara's apartment was organized again.

Before going Maggie pulled her aside as the sisters spoke.

"Luthor, you're bringing a date for the wedding right? I don't want you sitting there all alone looking depressed."

Lena sighed. "Is it mandatory?"

Maggie smirked. "Just ask Kara."

"Kara?"

"Well, it's that or the one you set Kara with. Or Sam."

She had a point. Kara didn't have many female friends and not many people would be willing to spend time with her. Although that was slowly starting to change.

Maggie noticed her silence and smirked, hitting her arm playfully. "Just think about it."

All Lena could do was nod before Alex dragged Maggie out of the apartment and she found herself alone with her best friend.

"So..." Kara started awkwardly.

"This was fun."

"Yeah?"

Lena hummed in agreement.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I always do when I'm with you." She smiled, ducking her head when she realized what she had said.

"So do I." Kara was whispering, almost like what she had said was a secret.

All she wanted to do was blurt out her feelings for Kara but she was afraid. Kara had her chance and yet here they were. Just best friends, nothing else. "Alex invited me to the wedding."

"I know. She told me." Kara gave her a small smile. "Are you going?"

Lena shrugged. "I think so." After a second she chuckled. "Maggie told me to bring a date."

"She did?"

"I'm sure how that will work." Lena laughed, it was ridiculous how she always found herself in messy situations. "Would it seem desperate if I asked Sam?"

Kara didn't seem too supportive of such idea. "If that's what you want..."

Lena stared at Kara, that was definitely not what she wanted. Or whom. "I might just show up alone."

"We can be alone together."

Suddenly she was smiling. That's the effect Kara had on her. She could turn her mood around that easily.

"I can work with that."

They smiled at each other and said their goodbyes. Lena just wanted to go home and sleep. As much as she enjoyed this day, she was hoping for some peace and quiet. She had a lot of thinking to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was slightly less frustrating than the previous chapters.


	42. New years

Apparently neither of them were religious. Kara still believed in Rao and Lena claimed that she only believed in science. Her family, the Danvers, celebrated Christmas and so they found themselves surrounded by Christmas decorations.

This time they were at her sister's apartment. It was the Danvers, Maggie, Winn, James, Lucy and Lena. Things were definitely messy and the apartment barely made it through the night.

It was one of the best holidays she had. Actually, it might have been the best Christmas.

They had set up a secret santa system and Kara ended up buying Winn some nerdy game he wouldn't shut up about. He might have cried, although he would deny it. Apparently Lena got her name and she gave her an updated supersuit. Kara might have let out a scream of joy. It was so cool.

Sure, she loved the suit Winn had made her but Lena's had pants. With pockets. She could actually keep her phone there if she wanted. They even had zippers to make sure she didn't lose it. Not to mention the fact that her boots were so much more comfortable and smaller. None of that up the knee stuff. She even made the color scheme slightly darker so she would be harder to spot during the night. "They won't see you coming." Lena had stated proudly.

They might have hugged for a little longer than would be considered platonic. In fact, she only let go of her best friend when Alex coughed.

Eliza was Lena's secret Santa and she gave her some research she had once worked on. Apparently that could help with something Lena had been working on. Alex had told her about it and Eliza thought she would help. Lena nearly cried but she was the only one who noticed how hard she was trying not to. Everyone else was distracted by James' gift to Maggie. An alien gun he had confiscated while doing his guardian thing.

She didn't really see Lena the days after that. Kara had to go help Barry with some big villains that were causing trouble in his Earth. She ended up getting back home on New year's. Tired and bruised.

Alex had insisted she should spend the night at the DEO and that she would spend New year's with her but Kara didn't want that. She should go out and have fun with Maggie and her friends.

She finally agreed to go do as Kara suggested and made sure to remind her to call if she needed anything at all.

Kara was laying on the sun bed, eyes closed as she rested. It had been a long few days.

There was a knock on the door and she opened her eyes to find Lena smiling at her, holding a bottle.

"Sorry. Were you sleeping?"

Kara shook her head. "No. Just resting."

"I thought you could use the company but I can go if you want to rest."

She sat on the bed and smiled at her friend, tapping on it besides her. Kara watched as her best friend sat down.

"Thank you." She smiled at her friend and leaned her shoulder against Lena's.

Lena looked at her watch, "We have half an hour to midnight."

They opened the bottle, each of them drinking a few sips as they shared the bottle.

"Did you like the suit?"

"It's much more comfortable and you were right, they didn't see me coming in the dark."

Lena smiled widely and Rao, she really loved that smile.

"You should have asked for help."

"What?" Kara furrowed her brows, wondering what she meant.

"I could have helped, Kara. I have powers now. I'm like you."

"Lena." She whispered. Kara could never ask that of Lena. Nor could she put the woman she loved in danger. "You already have. You've worked with the DEO before and you made me this suit."

"That's all work done at the labs. I'm talking about truly helping."

Kara stared at her in shock. This wonderful woman that had helped and saved the world so many times still somehow thought she had to risk her life to help. How could this be? While she stared Lena focused on drinking. The alien drink she brought was strong and Kara was already feeling the effect.

"Lena. You've done more than enough." She spoke softly, her hands holding her face gently, each of them on either side. "You've helped me more than you know."

Lena raised an eyebrow, looking at her curiously. "I want to fight besides you."

Kara sighed, dropping her hands but moving one to touch Lena's hand. "Why?"

"Because I can't do this. I can't sit on the sidelines as you risk your life. I can't keep waiting for you to make it through these fights alive. I can't watch you bruised and bleeding again." Lena had raised her voice slightly, she looked and sounded upset.

Kara stared at their hands, not being able to hold eye contact. "I'm sorry."

Her best friend handed her the bottle. "Let me be by your side."

"I can't, Lena." She took a big sip of the drink, wincing at the way it burned.

"Why not? I'm the same as you."

"Because I care. You think I want to see you hurting? I don't. Lena, you're... I love you. I can't risk losing you. Not after I've lost so much already."

Lena soften at her words. "I love you too, Kara."

She hoped Lena meant the same with those words as she did.

Her best friend looked at her watch before smiling softly. "Ten minutes."

Kara sighed. "You're my hero, Lena. I won't stop you from fighting. I won't stand in your way but I know how reckless you can be. You're the most selfless person I know but most of the time you put yourself at risk to help others and I can't handle that. I couldn't handle losing you. Lena, losing you would break me." She let her head lean against Lena's shoulder. "Be the hero you need to be but please be careful."

Lena took a few seconds to reply and only seemed to manage a whisper. "I will, Kara. I don't plan on being a full time hero. I just want to help when things are too much for you to handle on your own. We can face it together."

The CEO took the bottle from her and drank some of it. "I'll always be on your team."

Kara nodded, "Stronger together." She whispered, smiling at the familiarity of the concept.

"Exactly. Stronger together."

They sat in silence for a while, drinking and sharing smiles. Kara felt warm knowing this wonderful woman would always be by her side. For once she felt like the luckiest person.

"Ten seconds." Lena announced, slurring her words slightly.

Kara was looking at Lena and all she wanted was to kiss her but this wasn't the right moment. No, she couldn't use something like the new years tradition of kissing people to kiss the woman she loved. If she was going to do it then she would do it right. She just hoped that she would know the right time to do it when it arrived.

So she leaned in and hugged her best friend tightly, kissing her cheek before completely letting go of her. Lena smiled at her and Kara would swear she was blushing. Or at least had a pink hue to her.

"Happy New year." They said at the same time, causing the other to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make, there was a kiss in in the end of this chapter. 
> 
> I decided against it because for such a slowburn I think it needs more of a grand moment for their first kiss that doesn't involve Kryptonite.
> 
> I hope this is satisfying enough and just know things will be getting better. Soon enough they should be having their happy ending.


	43. I had it

Lena announced Sam would be helping her with L-Corp in January and Kara was happy she would be splitting her work. It was about time. Her friend worked too much. More than anyone else she knew.

So nowadays she spent a lot of her time at the L-Corp labs, working on new inventions. Whenever she wasn't there she would be at the DEO labs or going over the most important parts of business.

It seemed that instead of resting Lena had simply started to focus more on the practical side of the job.

J'onn had given Lena her own lab at the DEO and now, two months later, it looked like it had years of use. It was a mess. Organized but completely filled.

She knocked on the door, waiting for it to open. It was a secure lab and so it was always locked.

"Kara." Her friend said as soon as she opened the door. Her hair was a mess, her glasses were crooked and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. "Did I forget lunch plans?"

"Lena, it's night time." She shook her head. "You haven't been sleeping, have you? I thought we talked about this."

"We don't need as much sleep as humans do, Kara."

"We still need sleep." She argued, crossing her arms in defiance.

Lena scoffed.

"Please have some rest." She was practically begging now. It was ridiculous how much she cared for the well being of her best friend.

After an eyeroll she sighed, "Fine. I guess I can pause this."

Days later she found out that Lena had been working on a suit for herself.

A supersuit.

There was no symbol and it was more of a jumpsuit. The entire thing, even the cape, was black except for lines of green decorating it.

Kara thought about their conversation from new years but she didn't think Lena would actually go through with it. So when Lena showed up wearing that suit during one of her fights she couldn't help but stare in shock.

She had been getting her ass kicked, there might have been some bruises and she might have been on the ground as the alien prepared to hit her again. That's when Lena flew right at him, knocking the alien over before he realized she was there.

"What-" Kara was still staring at Lena with a look of surprised mixed with wonder. Her friend had apparently used her powers to get in the aliens head and cause him pain so he would be distracted long enough for the DEO to take him in. All while she laid there, staring.

"Are you okay?" That was the first thing Lena told her, offering her a hand once she reached her.

Kara nodded, holding her hand. Letting herself being pulled up and following her friend to where Alex was standing with the other agents. Lena didn't let go of her hand until they reached her sister, occasionally sending her worried glances that only made Kara feel warmer inside. She loved this woman.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice sounded more intense than she intended.

They were back at the DEO, under sun beds next to each other.

Lena simply shrugged. "I mentioned it. Remember?"

"You never said you were actually making a suit."

"I want to help whenever you need and you needed me today."

Kara sighed. "I had it, Lena. I might end up on the floor sometimes but I always get up. There was no need for you to risk getting hurt for me."

"There was no need?" Lena looked slightly offended now. "Of course there was a need. It's you. What did you think, Kara? That I'd just stand by while I watched you get beat up when I could do something about it?"

Kara was angry now. "Stop that." She raised her voice slightly but not enough to be considered screaming. "Stop putting yourself at risk like that. I can't have you just show up whenever I'm thrown on the ground."

"Why not?" Lena asked. "Your sister does. J'onn does. So do Winn and James. Why is it such a problem when I do? You even tried to make Mon-El help and he was useless."

Kara stared at her, opening and closing her mouth without any words coming out. She got up, pacing around the room. "Because you're reckless and you have no fight experience. Today you got lucky but what happens when you face someone more powerful?"

"Then I get thrown on the ground like you do and I'll get back up. Stop acting like I'm just another fragile human, Kara. I'm not." Lena ran a hand through her hair, she seemed frustrated. "Not anymore."

"I can't-" Kara whispered, walking out of the room.

She knew Lena could do this. Kara knew Lena was strong and smart enough but she also knew how dangerous this could be. She had been hurt many times before and she didn't want Lena to feel the need to risk her life for her. Not for her. She also knew that it wasn't fair of her to try and dictate what she can and cannot do. It was ultimately up to Lena and that was what scared her the most. Kara knows Lena. She knows that her friend can be reckless and constantly puts herself in danger for what she cares about and believes in. But she can't lose her.

There were tears falling down her face. She had considered flying to her apartment but Lena would know where to find her there so she decided to fly to the top of the highest building. Sitting against a wall as the sun healed her.

She wanted to keep Lena safe. There was nothing she wanted more than keeping the ones she loved safe and sound. Kara had lost too many people already. She had lost too much.

Alex had called her a few times but Lena hadn't. She was a little disappointed by that.

Once the sun was setting she decided to call Alex and assure her that everything was fine.

"I'm fine, Alex."

Alex was silent for a moment and Kara thought she would insist that she went back to the DEO. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"She just... What if something had happened?"

"She's strong. Like you."

"People can die, even with powers."

"That's not what I mean. Lena is strong, Kara. She's also incredibly stubborn. Whether you like it or not, she's going to do what she needs to do. And I have a feeling she needs to help Supergirl."

"But I don't need her to."

"We all need help sometimes." Kara rolled her eyes even if her sister couldn't see it. "Besides, remember when you nearly died for her? You have risked yourself for her multiple times. Should she have accepted her faith and not allowed you to help her?"

"Alex, what if she gets hurt?"

"That's what we have sun beds for."

"But-"

"You're overthinking and being overprotective. I know because I used to be like that with you. Remember how you felt when I was against you helping people? You know Lena. Her dream is to make this world better and help others. Someone like that can't have those powers and not use them. You know that. Even more so when her best friend is out there fighting for good and risking her life."

"Yeah..."

"You'd do the same if you were in her place."

Kara sighed, she couldn't argue with that. "You're right."

After a quick stop at her favorite Chinese place, Kara made her way to Lena's apartment. Alex had sent her a message letting her know that's where Lena was and she had to fix this.

It took her only a few seconds to open the front door, standing in front of them open door staring at her with a scaring neutral expression.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid." Kara admitted. "I was stupid because I was scared. I am scared. Of losing you. Of you getting hurt." She sighed. "I know that I can't tell you what to do. I was wrong to even try. I- I've lost a lot in my life. The idea of losing you makes me act irrationally, I guess."

Lena stepped away from the door, walking inside and leaving it open for Kara. "Come inside. You look like you're delivering my order standing there with those bags."

Kara blushed, following her into the kitchen. She placed the bags on the counter. "I'm so sorry, Lena." She placed a hand on her friend's bicep. Noticing how Lena tensed.

"You can't just... Tell me what to do." Lena sounded so small.

She nodded. "I know. I don't want to either. I was just afraid you'd get hurt trying to help me."

"It wouldn't be on you if I did."

"That's not why, Lena." She whispered, stepping closer to her. "I care about you and if it were up to me then you'd never get hurt."

"That's why I want to help. I don't want you getting hurt trying to save the world. If I can help then I will."

"I know I said I wanted you on my team and then I reacted this way but I really did mean it. I want you by my side, always."

Lena smiled before hugging Kara tightly. She loved that she could hold Lena back just as tight without having to worry that she would get hurt.

"I'll always be on your team, Kara." Her friend whispered into her neck, giving her chills.

They finally let go after what felt like forever and smiled widely at each other.

"So what have you brought us?"

They ate their food while talking about all sorts of subjects and Kara was glad she could have moments like this one with Lena. She couldn't imagine going back to a life without this wonderful woman in it.

Kara looked at the time, it was around ten and she definitely had work tomorrow but she didn't want to leave Lena. She never wanted to leave her.

They were drinking alien wine that Lena had bought, sitting on the couch with blankets as they drank it and watched some movie. She had barely been paying attention to it because Lena was so close to her, she had her head against her shoulder and Kara could just stay like this forever.

"I don't understand that."

Kara furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"Why would she be with him when her best friend is right there? They are clearly the ones that should be together."

Kara's eyes widened and her heart might have beaten slightly faster. Thankfully Lena couldn't see her expression and hopefully she hadn't noticed her heartbeat changing. "Yeah, I see what you mean."

"So you agree then?"

She nearly choked. "Wouldn't them dating be messy? What if it doesn't work out?"

"I don't know anything about love but best friends should be able to always work things out."

"Do you think that's true for us?"

"Well, we are still best friends, aren't we? Despite all the obstacles we had to face."

"When did you become the hopeful and positive one?"

"I think you brought it out of me, Kara Danvers."

"I like it."

"So do I."

They ended up watching the whole movie and Kara had to force herself to go home, otherwise she would stay there until Lena kicked her out and she didn't think that would be happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry no kiss. It's coming very soon though.


	44. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. I'm sorry for the long wait. And for a filler chapter but I'm trying to get back into this story.

"What was dating like?"

Kara turned her head to look at her best friend who was staring at the ceiling, throwing popcorn up in the air and trying to catch them with her mouth. They had been watching a movie after a long day at work and had find this ritual to become one of their most overused ones in times like these.

"I assume you mean on Krypton."

Lena rolled her eyes, hitting her feet on Kara's arm, playfully. "No, in college. Of course, in your planet."

Kara smiled, sitting slightly straighter before thinking about it. "We were paired up. It wasn't that romantic, really. It was all very mathematical. It never seemed all that great to me. I like Earth's concept of it a lot more."

"I don't know..." the brunette sighed, glancing at the alien before focusing on the popcorn again. "I'd like the certainty that someone was right for me. No dating around. No getting rejected or-"

"Right, because anyone would reject you." Kara blurted out, blushing slightly once the words were out there. "You're a successful billionaire who is probably the smartest human ever. I'm sure you're the cover of bachelors people want to date."

There was another sigh followed by silence. "Don't you ever just wish you could know? If you'd work out with someone. Just out of curiosity. Nothing else, of course. You'd just want to put it to rest. But you can't because there's always that what if and maybe I'm getting tired of the what ifs. The positive and the negative ones."

Kara turned to face Lena who was now sitting down as well, crossing her legs and playing with the zipper of one of Kara's old hoodies.

"Where is this coming from, Lena?"

"There's some article that would be good for the company but they keep insisting on asking me about my private life. And all I can tell them is that it's all a mess, including my love life."

"You have had other things to worry about and besides, I'm older than you. If your love life is a mess then what is mine?"

Lena nodded but didn't seem to lighten up.

"I've never seen you like this about something so... Normal."

"It's those stupid movies you keep making me watch. That's what it is. Those stupid romantic movies making me think about all these things I don't want to think about."

Kara got up suddenly and offered her hand for Lena to hold. "You need comfort food and a good night of sleep away from work and all this Luthor stuff. Let's go to my place and order some pizza and I won't take no for an answer."

"I thought the popcorn were already comfort food."

"That's clearly movie food. Besides, you're like me now. We can eat as much as we want."

Hours later and two pizzas eaten, they found each other cuddling in Kara's bed.

"Why is your bed so much more comfortable. You'd think money could buy me a comfortable mattress."

"Maybe it's not about the mattress." Kara shrugged, moving closer to Lena's side as she had called it.

"Maybe you're right." she whispered back but was quickly interrupted by a phone call.

"It's the DEO."

After a couple of minutes on the phone Kara put on the supersuit and got ready to leave only to find Lena standing besides her with her own.

"I'm not letting you fight alone." Lena argued, copying the Supergirl pose she often gave. It didn't take long for Kara to give into it. How could she not?

"They need us at a construction site. Shouldn't be too hard."

"What are you waiting for?" Lena stated with a smile before flying off daring Kara to rush out and race her.

It was a fairly easy save followed by another and then another. Next thing they knew they were both collapsed at the DEO, sleeping into each other's shoulder while Alex and Maggie took embarrassing photos of them.

"Think they figured it out yet?" Alex questioned as her fiancé took the last photo.

"I think they need the wedding. They're still going together, right?"

Alex nodded. "They better get it together then. I can't deal with anymore whining from either one of them."

Winn walked into the room in that moment, tapping away on the tablet. "Are we talking supercorp? It's long overdue if you ask me."

"Even Winn." Maggie stated pointing at him.

"Winn what?" Kara spoke half asleep.

"Winn almost fell." Alex quickly spoke out, shrugging when everyone else looked at her.

"I missed it? That sucks." Kara spoke again before noticing Lena was sleeping against her shoulder. "I should put her in bed."

"Don't we know it." Maggie murmured before getting hit by Alex's elbow in the ribs.

Luckily she didn't seem to notice and soon enough was flying off and settling Lena on her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real chapters will come soon. Again, sorry for the wait but I am going to finish this eventually.


	45. Wedding (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here

"Kara, it's my wedding. You better not get yourself killed during my wedding. I will not be upstaged on my day. Besides, there is a very stressed Lena Luthor pacing around my room right now and it's only making it worst. You come back alive this second or I will personally drag your corpse back to life somehow just to kick your-"

Maggie suddenly grabbed the phone, throwing it across the room into the couch.

"I think that's enough of that for now. Kara will be fine. It's only a setback andashe will be here any minute now. Just stop sneaking drinks into the room. How are you even doing that? Who did you bribe?"

"I'm worried, Maggie."

"I should go help her. I can do it." Lena suggested, getting ready to speed her way through the outfit change.

"No. We don't even know for sure where that alien took her. We have to trust her habilities."

"Screw that." Lena yelled out, throwing her clutch into the couch next to where Alex's phone was. "I'm not going to wait around and hope for the best. I'm a Luthor. We don't wait around for things to happen. We make them happen."

Suddenly Alex and Maggie were left alone in the room as they both started letting everyone know that the wedding would be late and that Lena was on her way to Supergirl.

It took a while but Lena and J'onn managed to track down Kara who seemed to be struggling against the rogue alien. "What are you guys doing here? I have this." she spat out, blooding coming out of her mouth as she spoke.

"Your sister is having a mental breakdown right now and drinking too much champagne for a human and you need to leave and stop being such a hero."

"I thought you liked my heroic behavior."

"You can't charm your way out of this."

Behind them J'onn sighed, slowly starting to think of a plan to free Supergirl who seemed to be stuck and in the alien's control.

"I'm starting to notice I can't get my way out of a lot of things today."

"Force field?"

"Don't think so."

"Oh, that's it." Lena yelled, flying angrily until she was hovering between Supergirl and the alien who was easily five times her size. "Whatever you are doing stop it this second. I'm not in the mood. None of us are. And honestly it would be in your best interest to not piss off a Luthor."

The alien simply grunted and focused on Kara again, causing her to yell in pain.

Suddenly there was a look in Lena's face that caused even J'onn to hold his breath.

Flying straight ahead she knocked against the alien, catching it by surprised but barely accomplishing anything.

"You listen. This woman right there is needed somewhere else so you're gonna stop this nonsense right now. What was your plan anyways? You weren't going to accomplish anything with this bullshit so let's stop wasting all of our time and do something else instead. You want to kill someone? Try me. But I assure you that I won't go down easily and it will be a lot of unnecessary trouble for both sides and no winner no matter what happens."

"Supergirl." the alien grunted.

Lena rolled her eyes, deciding to turn off her communications to have some privacy. "We all love Supergirl, buddy. Get in line. In fact, I might have founded the fucking club. Alex will argue it was hers originally but I say since she's her sister it doesn't really count. You see, I love her in a way nobody else does. But that's a secret between us. Now that you know that I'm sure you can understand why I can't just let you kill her, right?"

She flew around the alien and then hovered back between him and Kara who was still laying in pain.

"So what is it going to be? Because I'm not going to sit here and watch you kill the woman I love. We both know I can't do that. Oh if that's the one thing I can't do. Of all things you could go after it had to be her. Bad luck, really. You see, I'm not as nice as she is. I don't have the will power to stop myself if you hurt her more than you already have. In fact, I wouldn't want to stop."

The alien was still staring and at that point Lena wasn't even sure where she was going with the conversation. All she knew was that she wanted to go back to the wedding with her date.

"I'm going to take her with me and we're finally going to have a fucking nice date. A normal date. No alien bullshit included. Just me, the girl and some cliché songs to dance to. And you won't be the one to stop that from happening. I have waited too damn long for this and I'll see it happen. "

"Is she scolding the alien?" Winn spoke from the ear bud.

"Your guess is as good as mine." J'onn responder before moving in to capture the alien who seemed to simply give up and stand there looking at the women.

"Good job. I think."

"if you'll excuse me, I'll be using one of the solar bombs I built on Supergirl and taking her to the wedding."

"I'll see you there."

It wasn't until half an hour later that they finally arrived to the wedding where Maggie was barely holding things together.

"Sorry I got caught up." Kara barely made it to the end of that sentence when a pillow hit her head. Alex could have been drinking but her aim was still flawless.

"You're lucky they wouldn't let me be the one to get you."

"I was the better option, believe it or not." Lena admitted with a shrug.

"I had it under control, guys."

"It is my wedding, Kara. There should be no alien fighting during my wedding."

"I think you mean no life threatening alien fighting. I would still love to see Kara arm wrestle J'onn." Maggie argue before shutting up once Alex stared her down.

"No alien fighting."

Lena looked around before slowly raising her hand.

"Yes, you count as an alien." Alex immediately responded. "No fighting at all. Just drink and eat and dance. Can you all do that?"

"I see we arrived in time for the yelling." Winn commented awkwardly.

"Can we get you married now?" Kara asked after a second of silence.

Alex nodded before smiling at Maggie. Glad they didn't care about the tradition of not seeing each other because otherwise she would have had a full meltdown hours before.

The ceremony went as planned and everything looked perfect. They each had written their own vows and Kara was more than happy for her sister. Yet her mind kept wandering to something else. Or rather, someone else.

"What did you think?" Lena questioned, looking around at the decorations. "Is it as nice as you all planned it to be?"

Kara nodded smiling as she looked around before stopping to take in how beautiful Lena looked. "Even more."

"Sounds magical." she stated with a sigh. "Is this what you want?" she asked, sitting down at a bench outside.

"A flashy wedding with a terrible dj?" Kara raised her eyebrows at her best friend. She hasn't thought about her wedding or the possibility of one day having one. "I think I just want to find someone who makes me as happy as Maggie makes Alex."

Lena nodded. "I think that's all any of us can hope for." she took a deep breath before continuing. "Someone who understands us. Who is there for us when we need them to be even if we don't want them to. Someone who is there in our weak moments to be our strength. Who makes us better and want to be better. Want to be heroes."

"Is that who you want?"

Lena shrugged. "I think I have known what I wanted for a while now but I'm scared. I don't know if it gets easier. So far it has been getting harder. Each time I think maybe things are working out in my favor something happens and I'm back thinking someone like me could never have what I want."

Kara gave her a small smile, placing her arm around Lena's shoulder.

"If there is someone worthy of all the good things in the world, it's you. Never forget that."

"You think a Luthor could win for once?"

"As far as I'm concerned you have been winning since day one."

Lena smiled, placing her head against Kara's shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too, Lena." Kara sighed, wishing her best friend knew how much she meant what she said. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"Always."

"Let's dance." Kara quickly stated, getting up and dragging Lena along to the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready. Next chapter is written and it's what you guys have been waiting for.


	46. Wedding (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of making you wait I decided to post this today.

It didn't take long for them to find each other dancing along with everyone else still on the dancefloor. No worries about anything going through their minds. All they had was the happiness of the moment and each other. They hadn't smiled like that in months and everyone around them could feel how happy they made each other.

"Did you have fun?" Kara asked curiously once most people were already gone and everything was over except for the few people still drinking and talking.

Lena nodded. "I haven't let go like this in years. I can't really remember the last time actually. Thanks for including me."

"Alex and Maggie wanted you here. I had nothing to do with it."

"You did. It's because of you that I have all these friends. Before you I was all alone and now... I have so many people."

"All I asked was for them to give you a chance but the rest was all you. They care because you're amazing and it's impossible to know you and not love you. I know that. Believe me, I have tried and failed."

Lena raised an eyebrow at Kara's comment, caught off guard by it. "You tried not to love me?"

"Not like.... I just- Not as a friend."

"What do you mean?"

Kara consider the consequences of her actions for a second but she was tired of that. Of thinking and overthinking things. She was exhausted. So she found herself pacing around while moving her fingers around.

"Remember when that thing happened between us? It wasn't out of nowhere. I didn't just randomly pick you and it wasn't out of convenience. I've been fighting it for a while but I can't avoid it. Every time I try it somehow brings me back here. It always does. I can't deny it. It's like trying to avoid breathing. I could do it for longer than normal people but even I have to eventually breathe. And you, Lena Luthor, are a breath of fresh air."

"What-"

Kara quickly raised her hand signaling she wasn't done speaking. "I care for you. I really do. And I can pretend all I want that it's just some crush or something and that it will go away but the truth is that I care for you and it's not going anywhere. You've shown me that I don't need some machine from back home and that love is possible. I never thought I would get to have that but here I am. You came along and now I'm out here knowing what love feels like because whenever I see you or think of you that's what I feel. I feel love in you. How could I not? I was doomed from the start and didn't even know it until I let it pour out of me in a moment of weakness and next thing I knew there was no taking it back. No hiding those feelings away. There was just you and these feelings and the mess I made."

"You care for me?"

"I told you this before but then you lost your memories and I didn't know how to tell you again. It wasn't like you reacted anyways. You just stared and I thought maybe I had screwed up but I'm tired of feeling guilty or ashamed about these feelings. I'm tired of hiding them and trying to get rid of it all. They're here and you can either acknowledge them or not. But either way, I care for you. I have for a long time, Lena. How could I not? You're so amazing. Rao, I could never in my wildest dreams have come up with a more perfect match for myself. I'm sure Krypton would be intimidated by the possibility of our match. No computers necessary. Just you, and I and maybe some wild chance that made it all come together the way it has."

"So you like me?"

"Well, yes, are you okay? What are you not getting?"

"I thought it was all me." Lena yelled out, hitting Kara's arm with her fist. "I thought I was projecting. Sometimes I'd be so sure you felt the same way and then you'd say something about friendship and it was like getting punched right in the gut. I can't believe you did that. I slept with you, Kara. No kryptonite or anything else. Just me. Because I cared for you. Because I'm incredibly attracted to you and yet it took you this long to tell me you do have feelings? I felt used by you because I cared and then you acted the way you did and things got so impossibly messy. I've been trying to move on from this because I thought that was for the best. I decided today I would give this a chance, you know? That I'd get out here and you and I would have a nice date. Whether you'd like to call it that or not. And now you decide to tell me this? "

"Am I too late?" she asked shyly.

"I don't think there's such thing as too late. You could show up decades from now and I would be ready to give you a chance. I love you and no I don't only mean it as a friend. Although I do love you as one. I love you like you're the most special person In my life. Like you make me better and I am a hero because you have always believed I was one. When everyone else saw a villain you saw me and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you like one loves family. Or so I imagine. I never had family like you before but now I have you and somehow that makes up for it. Because now I know what it is like to feel loved and there is nobody else's love I'd like more than yours. You have shown me so much, given me so much, you have changed me and I will never be the same because of you, Kara. I love you. "

Kara had tears in her eyes even if she tried to fight them. To see her friend say such things, knowing how she had been raised to be closed off was amazing.

"I love you too. I was so lost for so long and I found family and friends here but there was always something missing. Rao was missing. My strength source. What makes my world bright. For so long I thought I could just live without it but then you walked into my life and my life kept getting brighter without me noticing it and then I saw it. You were making it better and I needed you. I turned around and it was like you were the brightest thing in the world. Almost losing you was devastating. It was like I was losing my planet again in a way. I don't think I had experienced being so terrified since I first arrived here. And at the same time I felt selfish because how could I keep someone like you to myself. You weren't made to be kept safe. You were made to go out there and show that brightness you have to the world and to make it a better and brighter place for everyone. Powers or not you were made to be a hero, Lena Luthor." she took a breath before nodding and continuing to speak." I finally understand. I have to stand beside you. As a partner, a friend, family. You're not mine to keep, you're the world's. You're my world and you're your world. You're both. You're the most special person I have ever met and I'm completely in love with you. "

" You're in love with me. " Lena repeated in a whisper.

" Yes. "

" That's good because I threatened to kill an alien today because he was keeping me from going on a date with you and now I feel slightly less silly for it. "

" You what? "

" I only used words. I think he was more confused than anything else."

"You're something else, Lena Luthor."

Lena shrugged while smirking, unaware that their friends had been staring at them for a while from across the garden.

"You think they're gonna kiss now?" a drunk Winn asked, nudging Maggie.

"Probably. If not now then they're loss causes. They're practically giving each other mouth to mouth. "

"Just give them some time." Alex argued.

"You're only saying that because you were also slow at it."

"Guys. It's happening." James stated, reading the camera as they saw the girls stand near each other.

"Do I finally get to kiss you?" Kara asked, pulling Lena closer to her.

"I've been waiting for a while now, Kara."

"Let's not keep you waiting any longer then." she whispered before moving in and finally kissing her best friend like she had been wanting to.

Lena flinched slightly not because of the kiss in itself but the feelings, thoughts and memories pouring between them as they kissed. Memories of their journey together, feelings that had been left unspoken until that moment. All that she had been keeping inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of writing one closing chapter but that might be all


	47. Talk

For the rest of the wedding night they spent their time together, mostly kissing and smiling like neither of them had in a long time. Possibly ever.

Their friends and family collected several photographs that would soon make an appearance to embarrass them but they didn't care. The last thing on their mind was to hide any longer.

For once they were simply acting on their feelings, allowing themselves to just be. To enjoy whatever that was without overthinking and worrying about who they are. What their legacies mean and how that could come to affect them and their relationship.

For one night they were simply two women who loved each other and finally acted on these feelings and they were happy.

But everything comes to an end and soon they found each other waking up and realizing that they would have to deal with the consequences of their actions. That they would have to talk about what they were doing and make a decision on where to go from there.

It was easier said than done.

Their friends seemed supportive if the amount of texts both had was any indication. It didn't help. There was still the slight issue of who they were.

"I guess we should talk." Lena finally spoke from her side of the bed. Somehow they had gone back to Lena's rented room and fallen asleep. Nothing had happen as they stuck to making out for hours, neither of them wanting to rush the intimate moment they were sharing.

"I guess we should."

Lena ran her hand through her messy hair as she sat down beside her on the bed. "What is this?"

Kara shrugged. "I don't know." she admitted shyly. The blonde knew she loved Lena. There was no doubt about it but the truth was her life was complicated. Lena had already been put in danger more times than she should ever have been and dating her would only increase the danger. She wasn't sure if she could risk losing her. Not Lena. "I love you."

"But?"

"I lead a dangerous life, Lena."

The brunette sat in silence for a second before shrugging. "So do i. And if you haven't noticed I can handle myself. I'm like you now."

"What if someone uses you to get to me?"

"I'm nearly invincible. I'd like to see them try."

"Lena, I'm serious." Kara whined, scrunching her nose. "I can't lose you. Not you. Losing you would be too painful."

"You're not losing me."

"You don't know that."

"Kara, we have all lost people. You more than anyone else but that's why you should know we can't run away from it. I used to be terrified of letting people in. Everyone always ended up leaving one way or the other but then you came along. You came into my life with that stupid smile and reminded me that if we don't let people in then what is the point? We either enjoy what we have while we have it or we live miserably and I'm tired of being miserable. Aren't you? Aren't you tired of trying to keep everyone at arms length to protect them and yourself?"

"I can't lose you. I can't. I've lost my home planet, everyone I knew. I saw as my parents stayed behind to die. I lost Clark when I arrived too late. All my life I've been losing people and I can't do it anymore. I know one day I'll lose everyone else. It's a curse. They're going to grow old while I won't. My friends, Eliza, even Alex. I'll lose them all and there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing. I'll lose you too. But I don't know if I could allow myself to lose you like that. To make a home out of you and then see it crumble."

Lena nodded, turning slowly to face Kara who was now hugging her own legs against her chest.

"You're forgetting something." she spoke softly, placing her hand on Kara's knee. "I'll be here with you."

Kara suddenly looked up at her, a crinkle forming between her eyebrows.

"I don't believe in faith. It was all my mother and her crazy plans but somehow she did something right. She made sure that I had time. With you." she explained. "I don't know if I'll have as much time as you. Probably not but I'll be there by your side along the way. I know what it is like to lose people but you won't have to lose me. Not for a long time."

"What if someone tries to hurt you?"

"There will always be people wanting to hurt me. It comes with the Luthor name but now, I get to defend myself. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

"I'm scared."

"So am I. Always. Afraid I'll end up like my family, that I'll be alone, that I won't achieve all the things I want. But I found something to help me with that."

"What is it?"

"You."

Kara gave her a small smile, burying her face on her arms still holding onto her legs.

"You make me hopeful of the future. Whenever I think about it I don't see what I used to. I see a world I would be proud to live in. I see a hero protecting everyone. I see good. I see you."

"Lena, I don't know how to do this. I've never properly done it."

"We'll figure it out. Together. We have a long time to do so."

"Are you sure?"

"About you? I have never been more sure of anything in my life."

"I love you, Lena."

"I love you too, Kara. I'm afraid I always have."

Kara smiled excitingly, kissing the brunette quickly without allowing for a reaction.

"Have I told you that you're my red sun?" Kara stated, sighing while leaning her head into Lena's shoulder. "Everything here is so much. Too much. It's overwhelming. And then there's you. And with you I'm just Kara. Maybe that's why it gets so scary to think of you being in danger. Because with you I'm just me. I'm not some superhero with powers. I'm just regular Kara. The Kara that likes junk food and marathoning musicals. The Kara that has weak moments. Human moments. With you I'm more myself than I have ever been. And now you understand me. You somehow became part of my world. It's like it was always meant to be. I was always meant to get stuck and end up here. With you."

"Maybe you were."

"Maybe I wasn't meant to help Clark become a hero. Maybe I was meant to help you become the hero you were meant to be. Even Rao blessed you."

"You don't need to keep the compliments coming. You already have me."

"I can't help it. I've been keeping all these inside for so long."

"I know the feeling."

Kara chuckled as she read yet another of Alex's texts.

"Are they still going?"

"Alex is happy for us."

Lena rolled her eyes in response, "they'll be insufferable now."

"I'm sure we can intimidate them if necessary."

"Are my Luthor genes already corrupting you?"

Kara pushed Lena lightly while laughing. "I'll have you know you're a hero in my eyes, Lena Luthor. Have been since day one."

"And you are mine, Kara Zor-El."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think this is it. Hopefully it was fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated.


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